How does a Narcissist React if you Accept the Narcissist’s Discard and not Beg them? If you have been in a romantic relationship with a narcissist in the past, then you might be aware of their discarding tactic, which includes keeping the relationship continuously on and off the hook. If you are dating a narcissist and wish to know more about the nature of relationships with them, this is also a suitable space for you. So let us get to know in detail regarding the question, “How does a Narcissist React if you Accept the Narcissist’s Discard and not Beg them?”.
Everything in a relationship with a narcissist is always about them and never about you. They come into your life and also leave your life based on their own emotions, choices, and wishes. You only obey them, surrender to their power, control, and manipulative nature, just follow what they say, and not demanding much from the relationship. This is how a relationship with a narcissist feels like.
So why would a narcissist discard you in the first place? What all goes into a narcissist’s mind when they decide to leave you and How should you deal with that? To get to the answers, first one must understand narcissism and the characteristics of a narcissist individual in detail.
Understanding Narcissism – What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) or Narcissism is portraying some common toxic traits in an intensified state than others. In psychological terms, narcissists who suffer from NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) portray these emotions and traits in a greater magnitude than others. These emotions include a boosted sense of self-importance, inflated self-worth, and a constant need for admiration, adoration, and validation.
Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is totally selfish and mean.
If you are dating a narcissist, or have a narcissistic family member then be ready to be surprised by some of their unusual, surprising, or strange behavior patterns. This outlandish behavior may be the cause of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
If a person is diagnosed with NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder), then that may be responsible for many behavioral and personality changes for a narcissistic person. So coming across strange behaviors of a narcissistic person would not come to you as a surprise. When you live with a narcissist, you have to be ready to expect the unexpected sometimes. Not every day do you have to be ready for strangeness but there are a few times when a narcissist would act against normalcy, which might shock you or put you into delusion.
Symptoms or Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
These traits may vary for some individuals, thus here mentioned signs can be generalized for majorly all narcissists in all.
Manipulation – Manipulation is a narcissist’s go-to tactic while dealing with others in order to get what they need.
Grandiosity – Narcissists have a boosted sense of self-importance and thus showing off their achievements, talents, plus points, looks and much more becomes their regular ritual.
Lack of Accountability – Narcissists may never take responsibility for their actions even though their actions may cause distress and harm to others. They use the technique called blameshifting to distract everyone and thus ditch their wrongdoings.
Entitlement – Narcissists believe that they are made for special treatment and deserve all the privileges as they are better than others.
Envy – Narcissists easily get jealous of other people, their looks, their achievements, and much more.
Exploitative tendencies – Narcissists can exploit others without giving it a second thought and without even trying to know the consequences of their actions.
Arrogance – Narcissists are filled with arrogance and their attitude towards others says it all.
Behavioral Traits of Narcissists
Some behavioral traits of narcissists are as follows,
- They use manipulation in all situations where they feel they are losing control
- They always see the negatives first
- They are selfish and inconsiderate
- Narcissists lack sensitivity and empathy.
- Have uncommon expectations and unusual fantasies
- You are always the wrongdoer and not them in their eyes
- They are almost incapable of praising others or giving enough credit to others
- They act over dramatically over trivial matters
- There is no winning against them in an argument
- They are highly competitive even with someone who is incomparable
- They cheat innumerable
- Have unhealthy relationships.
- Have regular mood swings.
- They use past grudges as their trump card
- They never provide straight answers
What is it like dating a Narcissist?
Dating a narcissist is complicated. Initial dating stages feel like walking on rose petals and later stages or the phases before the discard feels like walking on eggshells because the narcissist is constantly trying to find chances to blame you for not being able to keep up the relationship.
They would constantly be finding some flaw or a blunder so that they can immediately shift the blame on you for not fulfilling and playing your role as an ideal partner in the relationship. Whereas in reality, it is them who is unbearable, who wishes to break up with you, and who is constantly seeking advantage of you in the relationship. It is the narcissist that is wishing to break up with you and they keep on finding chances to just lay the blame on you for not being an archetypal partner.
During the initial dating stage, they would shower you with excessive love, compliment you, would want to be around you all the time, and make you extremely special as they wish to seek maximum benefit from you. They would do anything to gain their narcissistic supply. But with time, as they drain you out mentally, physically, and emotionally and when they feel you cannot provide them anything more, then it is the time they decide to discard you.
With the smallest inconvenience, shortage, or lack of supply(Supply here refers to giving them attention, praising their accomplishments, providing a sense of entitlement and validation whether it is positive or negative, providing special treatment, and meeting their needs and demands), when you oppose them or they no longer need you in your life, that’s when the relationship starts falling apart from their side. This is what is commonly recognized as the discard phase or the initiation of the discard phase.
Narcissist always feels the need to dominate the relationship and try to impress or prove their worth by all means all the time, so this is when they resort to all sorts of means without considering their partner’s feelings. As the relationship proceeds, it becomes more and more difficult to be with a narcissist as they start showing their true toxic personalities because by this time they have drained you, obtained what has been needed by them from you, and have established a complete power and control over you.
What is the Narcissist Discard Phase or Rejection Phase?
The Discard phase begins when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains.
This is the last and final stage where a narcissist would completely use you and when you are no longer available for them or become emotionally unavailable to them, emotionally drained, have no longer supply left, and start ignoring them; this is when they reject you and end the relationship abruptly.
The Discard phase is the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like a pawn, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. They just end things abruptly without any established reasons.
As you know the details of the narcissist discard phase, let us know the Signs of the Narcissist Discard Phase;
What are the signs of the Narcissist Discard Phase?
- Starts avoiding you and gives you the silent treatment
- They would make you feel like you are unlovable and would try to establish that through many incidents
- Cut all connections with you
- They would make you feel unwanted and like a hindrance in their life
- They start Ghosting you or Gas lighting
- Blame you for the breakup and make you the reason
Why Do Narcissists Discard?
Narcissists discard their partners without feeling guilty or remorse and are able to move on really quickly to their next target with ease. Narcissists discard their partners just for them to come back begging to take them back into their lives. Narcissists love it when their partners plead for getting back together and they wait to reject them once again. Narcissists desire to feed their egos by seeking validation and grandiosity when their partners beg them to take them back.
When narcissists discard someone, they expect their partners to come crawling back to them, but when their partners do not come back to them or beg them to take them back or forgive them, then narcissists would absolutely experience Narcissistic Injury. They may get so aggressive that you may have to face narcissistic rage, or verbal attacks, or they might launch a smear campaign, or even stalk their partners.
How Does a Narcissist React If You Accept the Narcissist’s Discard and Not Beg Them?
A narcissist would usually expect that when they discard their partners their partners would come back begging them to take them back. But when their partners do not do so and just accept a narcissist’s discard, then this situation may raise a few responses from the narcissist like,
Sometimes a narcissist just shuts down their emotional side and just switches to an apathetic or emotionless individual who chooses violence, anger, and such negative emotions to let their internal conflict out. This internal conflict can happen when a narcissist is upset with something or hurt due to someone in this case they would be upset when their partner just accepts the narcissist’s discard without begging.
Narcissistic injury is a term that is used when a narcissist’s self-worth or self-esteem is hurt. It is an emotional injury. In this case, when the narcissists discard you, they expect their partners to come crawling back to them, but when their partners do not come back to them or beg them to take them back or forgive them, then narcissists would absolutely experience Narcissistic Injury. Narcissistic injury can also be the cause of narcissistic rage. Narcissistic Injury also known as “narcissistic wound” is an occurrence or an outcome when a narcissist faces loss, criticism, a feeling of abandonment, or loneliness.
Narcissists might go into a state of shock when their partners do not act as they might have expected. So when their partners do not plead with them, they might have an emotional state of shock where they may also try to get their partners back.
Narcissists use the hoovering tactic to re-enter their victim’s life, to either obtain something or just out of need. Narcissistic hoover can occur immediately after the breakup or it can also occur after a long period of no contact. It can also occur when the narcissist does not receive the expected response after they discard their partner. It is just a selfish gesture of narcissists towards their ex-victims just because they need something from them or they are bored and feel lonely in their life then they approach their ex-victims just to obtain what they need or just fill that void in their life.
Will a Narcissist ever regret losing you?
It is important to note that narcissists have a tendency to lack empathy and remorse for their actions so it is unlikely that they will experience deep or profound regret for losing someone. Narcissists tend to prioritize their own needs and desires over those of others, so they may only regret losing someone if that person served a specific purpose or provided them with some kind of benefit.
However, it is essential to understand that a narcissist does not form relationships based on the core foundation of love and respect. Instead, they form “relationships” based on control and power. Therefore even if you were to cross paths with a narcissist after breaking up, it is highly likely that the would not feel any remorse for the way they treated you.
Though narcissists may react differently when they do not receive the required reaction when they discard their partners and they do not beg the narcissist to forgive them or take them back. A narcissist’s reactions may vary as each narcissist individual holds a different personality.
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