Will a Narcissist come back after Dumping you? Can a narcissist have a change of heart? Can they have real feelings for you? Can you trust a narcissist when they reach out even after breaking up? Should you be together with a narcissist after they dump you? Let us find the reasonable answers to these emerging questions that you have regarding the topic, “Will a Narcissist Come Back After Dumping You?
Narcissists linger around you for a while after breaking up to check how you are doing. They never completely cut ties with their exes, until they have completely benefitted from you. They do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up but their only fear is the lack of supply. They do tend to keep contact with their exes or even try to be together again after breaking up or giving the silent treatment, to satisfy their ego. They want to know how miserable you are after they have left you!
Dating a narcissist is itself challenging. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, tantrums, emotional unavailability, and peculiar traits. A Narcissist can make you feel like you are on cloud 9 for one moment and the next moment is like they don’t even know you. So dating a narcissist is almost unpredictable.
After leaving you or ignoring you for weeks, they would expect nothing to change. They would leave you and you might be questioning yourself about what went wrong. But! Remember it is not your fault, it is just that they are bored with you and leave you without any notice.
They would not want to cut ties completely with you. As they think you might be of some use to them in future. They would not declare the breakup but would show mixed signs, which would force you to go away from them and then blame you for the breakup. They would show that they are still interested and that you are not. So if at all in the future they want to resume the relationship, they can contact you easily. Narcissists would simply not cut all ties with you and would leave some loose ends, through which they can be associated again.
Usually, a narcissistic ex-partner would want you back by all means or not cut all ties, but this may differ from person to person. So try and understand your ex-partner more thoroughly.
Why would a Narcissist come back after going with the silent treatment or breaking up with you?
There are various reasons for a narcissist to come crawling back to you, which are mentioned here, so even though a narcissist breaks up with you they would want to keep you as a backup as their supply source. Though coming back totally
- A narcissist never wants to lose control over you – When a Narcissist loses control over you, they feel empty. A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life including the core ones like Money control, and control over all individuals, and when they lose control over you they feel something is missing. So they would definitely want to continue the friendship even as exes to gain back their control over you.
- They always want to keep you as a backup option – A narcissist is always in search of supply, so a Narcissist would always want you to continue as friends even after breaking the relationship as romantic partners, so this depends upon you whether to be their victim again by accepting their offer.
- They would want to keep a door open for physical intimacy – A Narcissist craves physical intimacy, and when you are the most vulnerable (that is after your break up) they would insist that upon you. They would not tell you this upfront but would try to lure you for physical intimacy as soon as you try to recover from a breakup. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to keep you as an option for intimacy. It also can be like a “Friends with benefits” situation. But once they get what they want to achieve, again they would show their true colors.
- Lack of closure – Narcissists would just be MIA(Missing in Action) keeping you completely uninformed and they would return as if nothing ever happened and the relationship continues the same way before. They would lure you into believing that you never broke up, which would make you question who dumped whom, or “Is this really happening?”. So make sure you provide them a complete closure or they would be coming back for sure.
How long it would take narcissists to reappear in your life after dumping you or being dumped?
There is no specific time that can be provided as an assurance, for this particular question. It can take a week, a month, a year, or just a few days to come back into your life. There is no specific time. They may not even come back if they have really moved on or found a new partner. When they are out of supply, that is when they contact you.
Narcists would not make the effort to find a new supply, so in such cases, they would come back to their ex rather than deal with the hassles of finding a new supply.
Narcissists would check in with your vulnerabilities and when they see you struggling or in hardships that is when they would lure you again. They would come back in your weaker or rough times so that you easily accept them again, forgetting the past scenario.
How would narcissists reappear in your life after dumping you or being dumped?
Narcissists would try to come back into your life from time often until they find a new supply. Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior. They would use all these tricks to gain you back in their life. This is how they start reappearing in your life again, after breaking up. They would try to remind you of them by their glimpses and presence in similar places and even in your thoughts by manipulating them emotionally through texts, calls, notes, or any sort of communication.
- They would constantly remind you that you have made a huge mistake by breaking up with them, via text messages, calls, or even by meeting you in person, so that you would re-consider your break up and again date them.
- They would try to reach out to you and meet you, by taking the same routes, and the same mode of transportation, and would wait outside your workplace or your residence just to mention their mere presence and convince you to get them back.
- They would text you, call you with all emotional drama, they would exaggerate how sad they are after you left so that they can make you gullible and lure you back.
- They would send you presents like flowers, chocolates, or anything dear to you to remind you that they still care for you; indeed this is not the case.
Would a narcissist come back even if it is you who dumped them? – Will a Narcissist Come Back After Dumping You?
Yes! A narcissist can come back even if it is you who dumped them. When you dump a narcissist, they would take an act of revenge in the first place if they truly want to avenge you. But on the contrary, if they really felt any little connection with you, they would try to lure you into their toxic world one more time. In such times, you should keep your head strong and not fall into their trap of toxicity. even if they dumped you they would still come back.
Can a narcissist change or they would be repeating the same cycle even after re-entering your life?
To understand the Narcissist Dating cycle, let us know the phases of dating a narcissist as curated by mental health experts, psychologists, and knowledgeable therapists;
- Attraction or Idealization Phase
The Attraction or Idealization phase is the step where they spot you and grab your attraction, like spotting a target for obtaining their supply. But while reentering, they would be luring you with promises to change, they would act gullible and just like a completely different person than from the past. But do not get trapped here, as this is just a mere act.
- Devaluation Phase
Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics. This is the phase when they would suck the positivity out of you and drain you.
So if by chance you get lured into the first phase, this is the phase for you to realize their cycle of dating and step out of the relationship.
- Discard Phase or Rejection Phase
The Discard phase is nothing but the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. This is the phase when they usually start to dump you again when they feel they can no longer gain supply from you.
This cycle is like a Ferris wheel, it continues to spin. A narcissist would not stop manipulating you, again and again, it is you who needs to realize and step out.
Understanding the dating cycle of narcissists is very important so that you do not fall a victim to their charms one more time. They would use this, again and again, to keep you in their life. So if you truly love your narcissistic partner then and then only agree to date again.
But if you are someone who does not wish to be a victim of a narcissistic partner again then, notice all the red flags, when they are so clear to you. Do not get brainwashed or do not get caught up in the fog of a narcissist’s atmosphere of lies and excuses.
Can a narcissist change? – Should you trust a narcissist when they come back?
Narcissists do change a little from time to time, as change is inevitable for everyone, but their core personality and traits would remain the same, and also the changes can be only surface level. So before you decide or agree to date them again, just remember the positive changes that you might notice can be short-termed or surface-level changes, they might return to how they used to be in a short time once they have your attention.
How would a Narcissist react when you do not allow them to re-enter your life, dumping them one more time? – How do narcissists treat their exes?
- They would feel agitated and would be harsh toward you.
- They would try to seek revenge.
- There is no repentance or remorse, instead all a blame game.
- They would speak ill of you and tell all sorts of made-up lies about you.
- They would try all means to win you back, even if it is by being friends instead of partners.
- They would spread rumors about you
- Might try to win you back with excessive love
- They might blackmail you
- Humiliating you through verbal assault
Would a Narcissist regret when they lose you or you decide to move on?
Despite their many manipulative tactics, if you decide to move on, they would not be moved by a bit. As they would think you were just another source of supply for them.
No, a narcissist would not miss you or regret losing you, as they would just be concerned about obtaining their supply. They would just act all gullible and repentant just to show you and create a scene. Deep down we all know a narcissist seldom changes. They would have no regrets about leaving you, instead, they would be all pent up and agitated about losing their control and supply.
They would simply put a false act and show you that they have changed just for you, and want you back in their lives.
Is there a way to save yourself from a narcissist’s trap again after breaking up? – How to avoid reconciling with a narcissist?
Narcissists would try to come back into your life from time and often until they find a new supply. They would simply put a false act and show you that they have changed just for you, and want you back in their lives. When you decide to move on the narcissist would be harsh, feel agitated, and feel insulted as they always expected to have control over you. Now, this depends upon you whether to be their victim again or live a peaceful life without them.
- Realize that they are a narcissist and they would be treating you the same way as they did while you were dating.
- Narcissists do not change and their core personality and traits would remain the same, and also the changes can be only surface level. So before you decide or agree to date them again, just remember the positive changes that you might notice can be short-termed or surface-level changes, they might return to how they used to be in a short time once they have your attention.
- They would want to be friends or crawl back into your life by all means even after breaking up, but do not get convinced by their act, be bold, and cut “all“ ties with them. Do not leave any loose ends for them to disrupt your life again.
- Do not let anyone bring down your confidence and self-love. Narcissists have a tendency to ruin the definition for you, but find the meaning of love again by seeking help. Connect with nature, adopt a pet or find new people to connect with.
- Focusing on positivity, healing, and connecting with other people can help to cope with trauma. Do not compare and just letting go of things and situations can also help a lot. Focusing on yourself, your growth, your interests, and lastly your mental health; is the most crucial part.
Do not be lured by a narcissist once you break up with them. Just recollect all the bitter memories with them before reconciling. Just keep moving forward.
Yes! breaking up with a narcissist can be a cynical and delusional act, but once you are out there is no going back.
Trust yourself and all the beautiful emotions that you have regained after breaking up with a narcissist.