Narcissists And Animals

by Ella Carrillo · March 7, 2024

Is the relationship between narcissists and animals, especially pets healthy? If you have a pet and a narcissistic partner, you may have noticed how aloof your partner is from your pet and they may be constantly blaming them for creating trouble.

Well, not all narcissists may have issues with pets, yet some do. As pets demand attention and so do narcissists, thus they may be jealous of your pets too. Your pet may love your narcissistic partner with their whole heart but all they would get in return is ignorance and a detrimental relationship.

Now, let us not generalize this for all narcissists as different narcissists have different approaches, attitudes, and behaviors toward animals. These feelings may be surfaced level for some narcissists, while some narcissists love animals, especially pets while heartedly.

The indifference in their attitude depends upon how they perceive animals. Some narcissists often view animals as their playthings or objects and use them for their amusement, while some narcissists may find them burdensome as they require attention. Thus some narcissists may appear loving to animals while some may appear cruel.

One thing that may remain common for all narcissists, is their real concealed feelings for animals. However much they try to pretend to love them their selfishness and uncaring nature disclose their emotional disconnectivity with people and pets. They may appear to be caring and loving animals. but in reality, they are faking it.

There are many reasons why a narcissist may fake loving and caring for animals, and those reasons are mentioned below.

Narcissists and Animals – Reasons why a narcissist may fake caring about pets

There are a few reasons, and it may sound absurd too, but yes narcissists are jealous of pets and they may pretend to like them. Not all narcissists do so, but some do. The dynamics of a narcissist and a pet can be rotating incomprehensibly as they may be super friendly with the pet and the very next moment they may be having thoughts of getting rid of it. Why this may happen, let us know further.

Control

Narcissists thrive when things are under their control. They like to control everything around them. Animals, especially pets are a means to control as they receive commands and act as their owners say.

Pets can also be locked in cages when out of control. Pet animals also wait for their owners to return. This is a reassuring feeling for the narcissist, as they live with the fear of abandonment. They can also freely establish their control on animals and they may not even retaliate.

Some narcissists like it when a faithful companion accompanies them through life along with their partners. Narcissists like obedience too, but they cannot force their partners to be obedient but they can do so with their pets, especially dogs. Thus they may fake caring for their pets so that they can gain control.

A pickup tool

Narcissists like to grab attention and they are very much aware of the fact that animals are magnets for people around them. Everyone adores a pet animal, and thus along with the pets they may also receive attention.

They may frequently visit public places like parks with their pets, and thus attract eyes over them. This way they trap their suitable victims. They know they can attract animal lovers by doing so, and thus they lock their victims and move on to impressing them further.

Thus they use pets as a pickup tool or bait to trap their targets. Pets can be a great conversation starter. A narcissist may also try to pet other people’s pets, to gain attention and provide comments like, “How charming is the dog and so does the owner!”, “Like owner like pet”, “How well-groomed is your dog, can I get the contact information of the groomers”.

This way they may use metaphors to indirectly compliment the pet owners too and gain their attention.

Usefulness

Narcissists like animals based on their usefulness. They often have transactional relationships and that includes their relationships with animals too. They like to keep useful people around them and that applies to animals too.

They may like animals who are helpful to them and would not like animals who may just consume their energy and monetary resources. They like animals based on their utility.

If the narcissist is into agriculture they make farm animals, they may also like poultry and dairy animals, as they can earn returns by selling eggs, milk, and so on. They may like bigger dogs as they provide security and safety but not like smaller dogs as they cannot help much in providing security.

They may be not interested in animals which may not be useful, as they are not interested in providing love but believe in transactional relationships, and thus their relationship with animals is based on their usefulness.

Cruelty

Some malignant or machiavellian narcissists like it when they cruelly hurt others. Now they cannot be cruel to people easily, but they can be cruel to animals. They may harm them or hit them especially when they are younger to train them efficiently and thus like the process as they can justify their cruelty.

Narcissists lack empathy and thus they do not feel the pain of others. They may also not feel guilty for hurting animals and might take pride as they were able to control animals by harming them. This makes it easier for them to mistreat animals as they please.

Ignorance

Narcissists believe they are superior to most species on this planet, and with animals, they feel that they are better ignored than to waste time petting them. They feel they have no time for animals and they better focus on important things in life rather than petting them or even looking at them.

They may not even be ashamed of an indifferent mentality. They believe that animals may not be able to help them in time of need then why waste time and energy petting them?

For some narcissists animals are far beneath them and thus they are not important to gain their attention as narcissists are way more important than animals and they do not deserve their attention. Thus they do not wish to compromise their high status and grandiose image by associating with something of the least importance, which is what they believe; and thus they ignore animals.

Triangulate

Narcissists often triangulate situations using their pets to show people that their pets hold more importance than them.

They may show off their love for their pets, spend more time with them, groom them, care for them, and provide affection just to make their human companion feel complexion. They may do all this for their pets only to get back with their partners or show off how their love for animals is greater than their love for some people.

They may try to prove that the animal is of more importance than you and thus devalue your presence and importance. They may show your place in their life, which is even beneath the animal. They may try to humiliate your presence lowkey but prove that the animal(here their pet) outranks you yet you may never be able to hold a special place as you are worse than them.

They may display this indirectly of course. They may never admit that but their actions may prove otherwise. They may gaslight you and act shocked when you confront them regarding this. You may hear, “How can you even think that you are less important?”, “I cannot care for my pet now”, “You are jealous of the pet, and thus you are blaming me”, “How can an animal take your place?”, and so on.

They may accuse you of being naive and jealous of the pet, but in reality, they wanted your reaction precisely. They wanted you to note how they are triangulating situations with you and the pet, and how the pet has gained more importance in their life due to your certain moves or actions.

They would be happy to use pets and triangulate situations either to display their annoyance or push your buttons just to gain attention. They may use pets to gain reactions and attention.

Facade

Narcissists believe, that if they hide behind the facade of honesty and decency their toxic selves might be concealed and people may admire them. They may try to gain attention. They realize that they cannot gain the goody image by presenting their narcissistic image, but by creating a facade of being animal friendly they may perceived as a good human.

Presenting them as an “Animal Lover”, is a part of their manipulation where they try to come across someone who is empathetic, kind, caring, and loving. Narcissists know that they need to put up an act of being nice and loving to gain attention.

In reality, they may not care for animals. They only care for what they are receiving by caring for animals. When no one is watching, they may also neglect the animals and ignore them.

When narcissists tend to impress someone, they tend to display their fake caring and understanding side to gain their attention. They believe that if they try to act to be nice and gentle they can hide their toxic side.

Thus they may boost their facade by caring, loving, and paying attention to animals, especially their pets.

Final Thoughts

Animals, especially pets, can make a narcissist look good and warm, thus they use them as commodities or tools. As long as animals or pets can benefit the narcissist, they would care for animals.

They do not have emotional empathy for animals, although they try to fake it, but they do not really care for them. For some narcissists, you may question their motives.

Now, just imagine a situation where your pets and the narcissist are bonded together in the same family. The pets may have an unconditional love for the narcissist and also provide comfort to them, but the narcissist may be both loving and horrendous to the pets simultaneously as the pets may be depriving them of their attention and adoration.

Thus try to not let their narcissistic partner, use your pets as mere tools to pick up, gain attention, or just triangulate the situation. Make sure of their motives and then allow them to be near your pets.

You can start by identifying the narcissistic tendencies of the person and then try to make the living arrangements favorable to both the narcissists and your pets.

Author
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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

Narcissists And Animals