Can a Narcissist Fall in Love? If you are diagnosed with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and wondering about the same question or are you dating a narcissist and not sure whether they love you truly or is it just a sham? Put your worries aside and please keep reading this article further as we are discussing some of the possible answers to the questions, “Can a Narcissist Fall in Love?” and “Will they ever find True Love?”.
Finding true love is as it is difficult for many people. It may come naturally for some people and may take a while for others. But at last, everyone finds love and tries to cherish and nourish it. But is it also the case with a narcissist? If you are dating a narcissist, you might be wondering do they love you or if they are just playing with your feelings.
Is dating a narcissist a feeling of contentment?
While dating a narcissist, you might continuously be perplexed between loving them and the rue of the adverse treatment you get from them. You might be confused about whether to stay with them or part ways with them. They would not allow you to leave, as you would be lured by their compelling actions and affirmative statements of change.
Dating a narcissist can be perplexing, as you might feel you are dating two different people at the same time because sometimes you might feel you are the love of their life because they make you feel like you are someone utterly special. While there are times you might even doubt your place in their life. They would not think twice before hurting, humiliating, and assaulting verbally. You might even feel that while dating them you understand the meaning of both love and toxic love while dating them.
Can you depend upon a narcissist in the matter of love?
Are narcissist relationships long-term? Can you plan to spend your life with a narcissist? A lack of empathy makes it difficult for a narcissist to genuinely devote themselves to their partner. They continuously fear real feelings, as they think they might lose their power and love can make them weak. Narcissists hate weakness as power, control, money, supply and competency is all they love. Narcissists may not know or do not want to acknowledge the concept of love as their relationships are completely based on receiving their supply be it with multiple partners.
A narcissist would be extremely charming and loving in the initial stages of dating. This might create confusion for you as you would feel, you are extremely loved. While this feeling seems to fade in the later stages of dating them. You might be confusing these initial feelings as a result of your own projections. You might feel you are being loved equally and also love them with your whole heart. When all this starts to fall apart, you might think it is your fault or you lack in being lovable, but in reality, a narcissist might have withdrawn the initial feelings.
Reflections on relationships with a narcissist
A healthy relationship vs an unhealthy/toxic relationship (Maybe a relationship with a Narcissist)
These are a few points that can separate both healthy and unhealthy relationships. There can be a few more points but these are some of the basic points that you should take into consideration while dating.
|What does a healthy relationship look like?||What does an unhealthy/toxic relationship look like? (Maybe a relationship with a Narcissist)|
|Mutual respect and trustworthiness||Lacks trust, belief in what others have to say rather than each other, unhealthy mockery regarding character, habits, etc, lack of respect, and smearing each other’s character.|
|Building a reliable relationship together.||Ready to end the relationship for trivial things and not be there for each other whenever required. Making important decisions together. One makes the decisions and the other one follows without much input. Healthy and regular communication and conversations; healthy ways to solve issues. Lack of communication, and lack of conversations. Instead of solving the issues, there would be a long blame game, without a solution at the end of the topic. Issues just keep layering up without any mutual solutions.|
|Both partners hold equal importance||One partner holds all the importance and considers themselves superior to the other. No equality between partners|
|Emotional availability for each other and truth is the key||Lack of emotional availability, instead emotions are hidden or camouflaged behind fakeness. Lies, lies, and many lies.|
|Supporting each other’s growth. Healthy competitiveness||Growth is less appreciated and jealousy takes place of the praise. There is unhealthy competitiveness.|
|Understanding and supporting each other’s causes||Lack of understanding. Rather than supporting each other’s cause, just taking benefits from it.|
|Fulfilling responsibilities and creating a healthy and enjoyable atmosphere.||Neglecting responsibilities and creating an unhealthy and saddening atmosphere to live in.|
|Giving equal importance to partners along with desires, habits, and traits.||Fulfilling materialistic desires and giving importance to them over the partner. Choosing unhealthy habits and traits.|
|Anger control, better problem solving and promoting the individuality of partners||Arrogance and anger is your first reaction to any problems. Lack of sensitivity to solve problems in a better manner. More blaming rather than solving. One partner keeps compromising their individuality and the other takes advantage of that.|
Can a Narcissist Fall in Love?
A narcissist is capable of feeling all emotions, it is just that they d not acknowledge them and express them due to their vulnerabilities. They fear expressing emotions can make them emotionally weak and vulnerable to their partner. They fear that once they surrender to their feelings they might lose control.
Narcissists are afraid to confess anything as according to them they are perfect, have no faults, they are superior to others and nobody can understand them better than themselves. Thus they lack empathy, care, emotional bond, and intimacy. They would be emotionally unavailable to you. Narcissists have very low self-esteem and are insecure about what others would think of them.
Narcissists are afraid of commitments and lack emotional bonding. They might be making false promises or commitments, but they do not come true to them. They prefer to date many prospects, but refrain to give life-long commitments.
Dating a narcissist is full of challenges. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, tantrums, emotional unavailability, and toxic traits. A Narcissist can make you feel like you are on cloud nine for one moment and the next moment is like they don’t even want to be with you. They are uncertain of their own feelings or you can say they hardly have feelings and acknowledge them.
Maybe narcissists have a different definition of love or they are different in approach to love. As their relationships are based on transactions (i.e until they can gain from you)they may never truly understand the normal meaning of love as we all perceive and expect. They may love you in the way that they understand love. If you are willing to accept their terms of love then you can have a sustainable relationship with a narcissist. You may also not reach a dating stage sometimes with a narcissist where love or emotional bonding is required as narcissists are incapable of having long-term relationships.
What does dating a narcissist look like?
There are three phases of dating a Narcissist,
1. Attraction or Idealization Phase
The Attraction or Idealization phase is the step where they spot you and grab your attraction, like spotting a target for obtaining their supply.
2. Devaluation Phase
Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics. This is the phase when you come to know about their real personality.
3. Discard Phase or Rejection Phase
The Discard phase is nothing but the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. They leave or discard you when they have enough of what they need. (Needs may include sex, physical intimacy, monetary gains, and even supply).
Narcissists hop from one partner to another real soon to obtain a supply. They cannot be a part of any relationship for a long time without seeking benefits. They can get easily bored, and easily distracted by other more capable dating prospects. They can easily break your heart without feeling guilt, regret, or remorse for their unaccountable actions.
How long can a relationship with a narcissist last?
If a narcissist develops any sort of interest because you are there for them whenever they need you and decide to marry, then also the relationship might not have the depth and intimacy which you long for. Because such relations hardly exist for them. They might not even fulfill your needs or even be emotionally available for you. As long as you agree and cater to their needs your relationship is good o go with a narcissist, but as soon as you put your thoughts or try to withdraw from the relationship be ready to face their wrath and revenge.
Usual relationships with a narcissist are short termed, they get what they want and skip to other relationships without providing a proper closure or providing any reasons for the breakup.
Narcissists always put their needs, their wishes, and their priorities first and then think about you. So when they say they love you, it means that you are fulfilling their needs and their wishes and thus they have developed a connection with you which may or may not be love.
Can a narcissist find true love?
A healthy relationship requires mutual understanding, respect, control, and nurturing. A narcissist is incapable to do so in most cases until they find someone similar to them, maybe a person with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). A narcissist may be able to find love when they come across someone who shares the same interests, the same thinking pattern, or maybe a personality disorder.
Ultimately all human beings are good at the core, nobody is born that way, but it is the ways or pursuits of life which are fitted in your life and are forced to pursue that you forget the line between the good and bad. So these are the ways you need to unlearn and establish your own ways of living life. This is completely related to a narcissist, they are a good person, but they just have come to become this way, as they have come across similar personalities or they were not given a chance to improve probably.
So if you wish genuine happiness for them and want to be with them, you can help them out with therapies and some sort of professional help but only if they wish to change. But remember this process can be extremely draining both physically and mentally. Patience, perseverance, and a lot of sacrifices are up your way in this case.
So if a narcissist develops some sort of affection in case, and they are willing to change genuinely then there may be a chance of them finding or falling in love with your help. Trust your instincts and begin your search for love!