Will A Narcissist Ever Leave You Alone? How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You? How Long Does A New Narcissist Relationship Last? Do narcissists come back after discarding you? If you wondering about all such questions then give your thoughts some rest as this article may provide some beneficial information to the ever-lingering question in every narcissistic abuse victim, “Will A Narcissist Ever Leave Me Alone?”
Narcissists linger around you for a while after breaking up to check how you are doing. They never completely cut ties with their exes until they have completely benefitted from you. They do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up but their only fear is the lack of supply. They do tend to keep contact with their exes or even try to be together again after breaking up or giving the silent treatment, to satisfy their ego. They want to know how miserable you are after they have left you!
How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last? Narcissistic relationships change with the weather you can say. But not in all cases. Though some narcissists choose to stick with someone they really like, not most narcissists do so. Narcissists love to keep it fresh and charming when it comes to their relationships.
Why a narcissist will not let you go?
Dating a narcissist can be the best dating experience (when the relationship is new or when you do not know about their toxicity) or be the worst dating experience (when you dump them after acknowledging their true toxic personalities). Acknowledging the fact that the narcissist would not let you go easily even after breaking up, discarding, or rejecting them and this acknowledgment would help you to be prepared for all the hoovering, lingering, or a long session of pestering.
Narcissists would linger around for a while, they might even take an act of revenge and it is going to be a long process if you are not strong-headed. Knowing what you are getting into exactly would make the discarding or dumping process easy for you and you would know how narcissists react when you break up or terminate the relationship with them.
There are a few reasons why a narcissist would linger and will not let you go,
1. The narcissists’ reaction is arrogance and egotism when we tend to leave them for good. It is not that we (the victim) wish to hurt them, but the reason is the abuse becomes too much to handle and thus leaving them becomes the one and only option. Leaving a narcissist is important, it might feel tough in the moment and we might also have wavering thoughts regarding the breakup, also we might end up going back to them, due to their love bombing, the overbearing conviction to change, and false promises to treat you better. But remember narcissists do all this simply to have you back in their life as they believe that they are the best and no one can leave them, they deserve every bit of their partner even after they decide to discard you.
What is Love Bombing?
Love Bombing is a manipulation technique commonly incorporated by narcissists to lure or engage their victims into a relationship. It is an act of extreme display of love. Love bombing is an act of over or exaggerated display of love which is usually considered toxic and unhealthy for a successful relationship. In an unhealthy relationship love bombing technique is often taken into practice to cover up mistakes, to recover the lost relationships, or when anything goes wrong, or to manipulate the partner with the help of lovey-dovey or cheezy words, actions, and loud effective gestures. While love bombing seems effective in the initial stages of dating, the relationship becomes vague and blurry as it is made up of toxic pillars of shiny, sometimes false, and exaggerated affection.
2. Narcissists believe that they are entitled and special and that no one can leave them. It is them who can discard people. They believe that they are the best that anyone can ever have. So when we(the victim) try to break up or part ways with the narcissists, it contradicts their belief of being special and entitled. And so they cannot let go of their victims to either punish them for making a contradictory move than their belief or doubting their unconventionality as partners. Thus when they are unable to convince you with their conventional methods they might tactics like mirroring or love bombing to anyhow convince and gain you back in their life just to prove a point that they are special and deserve the best.
What is Mirroring?
Mirroring is a way to copy other people’s personalities into your behavior, to make others comfortable with you and around you. It is a disguise of your personality when you do not want to expose or showcase your real personality. Narcissistic Mirroring is more or less the same but the only difference is Narcisisit often use this technique repeatedly to deceive others and hide their ill intentions behind their newly adapted personality.
3. Narcissistic people thrive on control and manipulation. The decision of ending things with the narcissists, might upset them, and hurt their ego and self-pride making them feel rejected and insulted. A narcissist might feel that they are losing control of the situation and this may lead them to anyhow convince their partners on the basis of flattery and overly lovey-dovey gestures, like cooking meals, getting your favorite things, gifting, or even making public gestures to make their victims feel special. Once a narcissist decides to gain you back they can go to any extent to gain you back, because you breaking up with them means they have lost control which is totally unacceptable for them.
4. Narcissists are filled with envy and jealousy and thus they can not the fact that their ex-partner is living their best life without them, or someone can enjoy their life without their presence in it. Narcissistic individuals can be vindictive and spiteful and may use tactics to hurt their ex-partner as revenge and would want to have them back in their life. One of the reasons that narcissists would not leave you alone is because they are jealous and envious when you decide to leave them and control your own life without their involvement. This simply gives a kick to narcissists’ envy and thus they would try to do everything in their power to have you back.
5. Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. So when they feel a lack of narcissistic supply, they might want you back as they have always have had you as their backup option for obtaining their narcissistic supply. Thus this becomes one of the reasons why narcissists cannot let you go even after a breakup.
What is Narcissistic supply?
A narcissistic supply is everything that makes a narcissistic life fulfilled. It is that one thing that a narcissist always craves even if it is in its negative forms, that is attention. One can even say that a narcissist is only able to fulfill their life purposes on the basis of supply itself. They feel handicapped without their sources of admiration, attention, validation, importance, and everything that makes them feel special. Narcissists seek supply more than anything, and they could do everything to obtain their dose of supply.
6. Narcissists try to hoover around their exes and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. It can be really difficult to break up with a narcissist as they can blackmail you, take revenge, or hoover around for a long period of time. They do this because they do not want to lose control over their source of supply. And also it is always difficult to date a narcissist due to their anger issues and unhealthy behavior so they have to be dependent on a lot of people to get their supply. This is also one of the reasons why narcissists Hoover. They would hoover until they get their supply in the form of getting validation, control, and attention. Once they stop getting what they want, or once they find their new source for supply they might stop hoovering around you.
7. Narcissistic individuals typically have a fragile ego, and rejection or abandonment can trigger feelings of vulnerability and insecurity. Therefore, when a relationship ends, they may fear being left alone and abandoned. They fear abandonment and thus they would not go of their partners easily and would keep them as their backup options in case they ever needed someone or when they feel all alone. A narcissist’ biggest nightmare or the chief fear in life is being abandoned by their ex-partner. So they might come back even after telling their ex-partners not to ever contact them. As abandonment issues are closely related to childhood traumas that a narcissist might have faced or is still fighting. Thus Narcissists fear abandonment and might come around even after breaking up or discarding you. In a case where their partners or victims left them, even then they would show up.
8. Narcissists often like to control people either by showing how powerful they are or by manipulating them into believing how powerful they can be in order to control them. They love power and the experiences that come along with it. Power brings the feeling and experience of having control and importance that elicits a sense of security and confidence. Some people, that also include narcissists, go to greater lengths to wield power over others. They are notorious for their insatiable craving for power, attention, validation, and attention. They will do whatever it takes to adduce themselves and maintain their superiority over others. Narcissists are individuals who are excessively self-absorbed and have an inflated sense of their importance, achievements, and abilities. They often project a confident and charming facade to the world, but behind the scenes, they are manipulative, exploitative, and abusive. They are also driven by the need for admiration and approval from others. They see people as tools to serve their interests and hardly care about their feelings, emotions, and well-being.
9. Narcissists lack empathy and thus struggle to empathize with others and may not understand or care about the pain they cause when refusing to let you(their victim) go.
When do Narcissists leave you alone?
Narcissists are often not satisfied by little, they need everything best and accomplished. They are greedy. So when they come across someone who is more accomplished, has more monetary resources, and is better than their current partner, they might leave you for someone else.
Falseness, lack of trust, breach of commitments, and disloyalty are some of the narcissistic traits that are an integral part of their character and personality. They even have control issues and so they can’t control their nasty desires, materialistic needs, and physical intimacy needs. They may leave you when they find someone better than you or for fulfilling their magnified needs for lovemaking. To fulfill their empty and shallow life, narcissists gain attention, praise, and whatever they need to present their grandiosity of life. So if they are getting all of these needs fulfilled by someone else in a better manner they might leave you.
Narcissists are usually materialistic and obsessed with everything which makes their social image lustrous. Money is one such factor that can fulfill all their materialistic desires, thus they can be consumed by money, fame, and praise. They like to be celebrated loud and lustrous to boost their ego. Even if it is fake, they need praise in a notable manner, and sometimes money can get you that. So they chase money and everyone and everything related to it. So even if it includes cheating, they would not hesitate once.
They can get easily bored with you and might find someone out of boredom just for having some fun, and thus they might leave you for someone else.
They might leave you for another person when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains; these can be some of the most common reasons why narcissist would cheat on you.
How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You?
There is no absolute number to give to the question, “How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You?”. Narcissists are super greedy and they cannot cut ties easily with their exes, so they would keep coming back until you realize the toxicity and deny them with strong actions. Unless you are headstrong about denying them to enter your lives again, they would keep coming back to you after discarding you a number of times. It doe sot matter to a narcissist how many times they dump you and come back to you because they do not have any intimate bond with any of their dating partners.
Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire. Hypocrisy is their go-to trait. Selfishness is in their true nature, and they would do anything to seek benefit from you. They think they are at the center of the earth and so they are very ignorant, self-centered, and mean. They ought to keep in touch with their exes even and also do not hesitate to lure them into new relationships despite their commitment to their life partner.
Will A Narcissist Ever Leave You Alone?
As long as a narcissist perceives you as a source of validation or supply, they are unlikely to leave you alone willingly or easily. They may manipulate you or guilt trip you into staying in their lives, or they may switch between love bombing and devaluation tactics to keep you emotionally invested.
However, setting clear boundaries and avoiding any contact or communication with the narcissist can help in moving on and eventually cutting ties with them. It is also important to seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist to cope with the emotional damage and impact of the relationship.
How to avoid getting back with a narcissist and not fall again into their toxic abuse cycle?
Narcissists would try to come back into your life from time and often until they find a new supply. They would simply put a false act and show you that they have changed just for you, and want you back in their lives. When you decide to move on the narcissist would be harsh, feel agitated, and feel insulted as they always expected to have control over you. Now, this depends upon you whether to be their victim again or live a peaceful life without them.
- Realize that they are a narcissist and they would be treating you the same way as they did while you were dating which is toxic.
- Narcissists do not change and their core personality and traits would remain the same, and also the changes can be only surface level. So before you decide or agree to date them again, just remember the positive changes that you might notice can be short-termed or surface-level changes, they might return to how they used to be in a short time once they have your attention.
- They would want to be friends or crawl back into your life by all means even after breaking up but do not get convinced by their act, be bold, and cut “all“ ties with them. Do not leave any loose ends for them to disrupt your life again.
- Do not let anyone bring down your confidence and self-love. Narcissists have a tendency to ruin the definition for you, but find the meaning of love again by seeking help. Connect with nature, adopt a pet, or find new people to connect with.
- Focusing on positivity, healing, and connecting with other people can help to cope with trauma. Do not compare and just letting go of things and situations can also help a lot. Focusing on yourself, your growth, your interests, and lastly your mental health; is the most crucial part.
Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire. Hypocrisy is their go-to trait. Selfishness is in their true nature, and they would do anything to seek benefit from you.
Do not be lured by a narcissist once you break up with them. Just recollect all the bitter memories with them before reconciling. Just keep moving forward.
Yes! Breaking up with a narcissist can be a cynical and delusional act, but once you are out there is no going back.
Trust yourself and all the beautiful emotions that you have regained after breaking up with a narcissist.