How Many Times Will a Narcissist Come Back After Discarding You?
How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You? Have you been discarded or trashed by a narcissist? If you are dating a narcissist or have dated a narcissist, you might have heard about the terms Narcissist Discard Phase, Narcissistic supply, and much more. Let us know more about the narcissistic discard phase and also how many times will a narcissist come back to you after discarding you!
Will a Narcissist come back after Dumping you? Can a narcissist have a change of heart? How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You? Can they have real feelings for you? Can you trust a narcissist when they reach out even after breaking up? Should you be together with a narcissist after they dump you? All these questions mind be taking up space in your head if you have recently broken up with a narcissist or you might have a hunch that they are soon going to be breaking up with you.
But do not get disheartened as you will be surprised to know as for the number of times the narcissist comes to crawl back to you, even when they dump you! So be ready to be startled by the conclusions of this topic.
Will a Narcissist come back after discarding you?
Narcissists linger around you for a while after breaking up to check how you are doing. They never completely cut ties with their exes, until they have completely benefitted from you. They do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up but their only fear is the lack of supply. They do tend to keep contact with their exes or even try to be together again after breaking up or giving the silent treatment, to satisfy their ego. They want to know how miserable you are after they have left you!
Dating a narcissist is itself challenging. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, tantrums, emotional unavailability, and peculiar traits. A Narcissist can make you feel like you are on cloud 9 for one moment and the next moment is like they don’t even know you. So dating a narcissist is almost unpredictable.
After leaving you or ignoring you for weeks, they would expect nothing to change. They would leave you and you might be questioning yourself about what went wrong. But! Remember it is not your fault, it is just that they are bored with you and leave you without any notice.
They would not want to cut ties completely with you. As they think you might be of some use to them in future. They would not declare the breakup but would show mixed signs, which would force you to go away from them and then blame you for the breakup.
They would show that they are still interested and that you are not. So if at all in the future they want to resume the relationship, they can contact you easily. Narcissists would simply not cut all ties with you and would leave some loose ends, through which they can be associated again. Usually, a narcissistic ex-partner would want you back by all means or not cut all ties, but this may differ from person to person. So try and understand your ex-partner more thoroughly.
How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You?
There is no absolute number to give to the question, “How many times will a Narcissist come back after Discarding You?”. Narcissists are super greedy and they cannot cut ties easily with their exes, so they would keep coming back until you realize the toxicity and deny them with strong actions. Unless you are headstrong about denying them to enter your lives again, they would keep coming back to you after discarding you a number of times. It doe sot matter to a narcissist how many times they dump you and come back to you because they do not have any intimate bond with any of their dating partners.
Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire. Hypocrisy is their go-to trait. Selfishness is in their true nature, and they would do anything to seek benefit from you. They think they are at the center of the earth and so they are very ignorant, self-centered, and mean. They ought to keep in touch with their exes even and also do not hesitate to lure them into new relationships despite their commitment to their life partner.
What does Discarding mean? – What is the Narcissistic Discard phase?
To understand the Narcissist Dating cycle, let us know the phases of dating a narcissist as curated by mental health experts, psychologists, and knowledgeable therapists;
Attraction or Idealization Phase
The Attraction or Idealization phase is the step where they spot you and grab your attraction, like spotting a target for obtaining their supply. But while reentering, they would be luring you with promises to change, they would act gullible and just like a completely different person than from the past. But do not get trapped here, as this is just a mere act.
Devaluation Phase
Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics. This is the phase when they would suck the positivity out of you and drain you.
So if by chance you get lured into the first phase, this is the phase for you to realize their cycle of dating and step out of the relationship.
Discard Phase or Rejection Phase
The Discard phase is nothing but the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. This is the phase when they usually start to dump you again when they feel they can no longer gain supply from you.
This cycle is like a Ferris wheel, it continues to spin. A narcissist would not stop manipulating you, again and again, it is you who needs to realize and step out.
Understanding the dating cycle of narcissists is very important so that you do not fall a victim to their charms one more time. They would use this, again and again, to keep you in their life. So if you truly love your narcissistic partner then and then only agree to date again.
But if you are someone who does not wish to be a victim of a narcissistic partner again then, notice all the red flags, when they are so clear to you. Do not get brainwashed or do not get caught up in the fog of a narcissist’s atmosphere of lies and excuses.
Would a narcissist come back if you reject or discard them?
Yes! A narcissist can come back even if it is you who dumped them. When you dump a narcissist, they would take an act of revenge in the first place if they truly want to avenge you. But on the contrary, if they really felt any little connection with you, they would try to lure you into their toxic world one more time. In such times, you should keep your head strong and not fall into their trap of toxicity. even if they dumped you they would still come back.
Why would a Narcissist come back even after leaving or Discarding you? – Reasons a Narcissist will come back after Discarding you
There are various reasons for a narcissist to come back to you, which are mentioned here, so even though a narcissist breaks up with you they would want to keep you as a backup as their supply source.
A narcissist never wants to lose control over you
When a Narcissist loses control over you, they feel empty. A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life including the core ones like Money control, or control over all individuals, and when they lose control over you they feel something is missing. So they would definitely want to continue the friendship even as exes to gain back their control over you.
They always want to keep you as a backup option for their source of supply
A narcissist is always in search of supply, so a Narcissist would always want you to continue as friends even after breaking the relationship as romantic partners, so this depends upon you whether to be their victim again by accepting their offer.
Narcissists have a sense of entitlement which they fulfill with the help of the supply. They do not view a human as a human with needs, emotional attachment, or any source of emotional connection. They first view them as their source of supply, weigh their positives and negatives, and then proceed with them and visualize them as humans with substantial needs. Everybody craves attention, but in the case of narcissists, they crave constant and undivided attention.
What is Narcissistic supply?
A narcissistic supply is everything that makes a narcissistic life fulfilled. It is that one thing that a narcissist always craves even if it is in its negative forms, that is attention. One can even say that a narcissist is only able to fulfill their life purposes on the basis of supply itself. They feel handicapped without their sources of admiration, attention, validation, importance, and everything that makes them feel special. Narcissists seek supply more than anything, and they could do everything to obtain their dose of supply.
Narcissists are supply junkies. They are so much dependent on the source of supply for validation that they are ready to compromise their self-opinionated self. As we might have seen drug addicts go crazy in movies, in the same way, narcissists just like addicts, behave insanely weirdly and differently when they are unable to secure their narcissistic supply.
Narcissistic supply is one of the prime reasons for them to date commit to a relationship. They do not have love as the first priority, their first priority is obtaining their supply, once they drain you completely out of supply they would leave you or might still have you as their backup source of supply. and Narcissists also have their own stock of narcissistic supply.
They would want to keep a door open for physical intimacy
A Narcissist craves physical intimacy, and when you are the most vulnerable (that is after your break up) they would insist that upon you. They would not tell you this upfront but would try to lure you for physical intimacy as soon as you try to recover from a breakup. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to keep you as an option for intimacy. It also can be like a “Friends with benefits” situation. But once they get what they want to achieve, again they would show their true colors.
They would want to keep tabs on you
Keeping tabs means checking on their exes and keeping a track of their activities. Narcissists often do this to ensure that their exes are not getting ahead of them. When they feel their ex is at the most vulnerable time of their life they would bounce back to secure supply from them.
Narcissists have an elevated sense of entitlement which makes them feel superior and allows them to behave as they wish without considering anyone’s feelings. Sometimes their conduct may even cross the social bounds of society. They are desire-driven beings who let their desires, lust, and pleasure control them.
Lack of closure
Narcissists would just be MIA(Missing in Action) keeping you completely uninformed and they would return as if nothing ever happened and the relationship continues the same way before. They would lure you into believing that you never broke up, which would make you question who dumped whom, or “Is this really happening?”. So make sure you provide them a complete closure or they would be coming back for sure.
When you leave a narcissist or discard them, they would not be able to bear the consequences as rejection is totally a no-no. They would try to win their old supply over when they have no fresh or new source of supply.
Narcissists linger around you for a while even after leaving you for someone else to check how you are doing. They never completely cut ties with their exes, until they have completely benefitted from you. They do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up but their only fear is the lack of supply. They do tend to keep contact with their exes or even try to be together again after breaking up or giving the silent treatment, to satisfy their ego. They want to know how miserable you are after they have left you!
- A narcissist never wants to lose control over you.
- They always want to keep you as a backup option.
- They would want to keep a door open for physical intimacy.
- They might come back when they want some monetary gains from you.
- Narcissists can be the most difficult people, so they may come around to gain emotional support from you.
- They would come back to obtain their dose of narcissistic supply.
How long it would take for a narcissist to come back to you after dumping you?
There is no specific time that can be provided as an assurance, for this particular question. It can take a week, a month, a year, or just a few days to come back into your life. There is no specific time. They may not even come back if they have really moved on or found a new partner. When they are out of supply, that is when they contact you.
Narcists would not make the effort to find a new supply, so in such cases, they would come back to their ex rather than deal with the hassles of finding a new supply. Narcissists would check in with your vulnerabilities and when they see you struggling or in hardships that is when they would lure you again. They would come back in your weaker or rough times so that you easily accept them again, forgetting the past scenario.
How to avoid getting back with a narcissist after they discard you?
Narcissists would try to come back into your life from time and often until they find a new supply. They would simply put a false act and show you that they have changed just for you, and want you back in their lives. When you decide to move on the narcissist would be harsh, feel agitated, and feel insulted as they always expected to have control over you. Now, this depends upon you whether to be their victim again or live a peaceful life without them.
- Realize that they are a narcissist and they would be treating you the same way as they did while you were dating which is toxic.
- Narcissists do not change and their core personality and traits would remain the same, and also the changes can be only surface level. So before you decide or agree to date them again, just remember the positive changes that you might notice can be short-termed or surface-level changes, they might return to how they used to be in a short time once they have your attention.
- They would want to be friends or crawl back into your life by all means even after breaking up, but do not get convinced by their act, be bold, and cut “all“ ties with them. Do not leave any loose ends for them to disrupt your life again.
- Do not let anyone bring down your confidence and self-love. Narcissists have a tendency to ruin the definition for you, but find the meaning of love again by seeking help. Connect with nature, adopt a pet or find new people to connect with.
- Focusing on positivity, healing, and connecting with other people can help to cope with trauma. Do not compare and just letting go of things and situations can also help a lot. Focusing on yourself, your growth, your interests, and lastly your mental health; is the most crucial part.
Crucial Takeaway
Do not be lured by a narcissist once you break up with them. Just recollect all the bitter memories with them before reconciling. Just keep moving forward.
Yes! breaking up with a narcissist can be a cynical and delusional act, but once you are out there is no going back.
Trust yourself and all the beautiful emotions that you have regained after breaking up with a narcissist.
Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire. Hypocrisy is their go-to trait. Selfishness is in their true nature, and they would do anything to seek benefit from you.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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