6+ Ways How Narcissists Treat Their Exes (Common Among all Narcissists)
If you have recently recovered from a breakup with a Narcissist, then stay tuned with this article, as we present you with some of the ways how Narcissists treat their Exes! If you are facing a relationship crisis, where you have been abandoned, ghosted, and neglected without specific reasons, then here is your sign and motivation to stop dating a narcissist and turn up as their ex!
Ways How Narcissists Treat Their Exes
Narcissists would simply not cut all ties with you and would leave some loose ends, through which they can be associated again.
Dating a narcissist is itself challenging. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, their tantrums, emotional unavailability, and peculiar traits. A Narcissist can make you feel like you are on cloud 9 for one moment and the next moment is like they don’t even know you. So dating a narcissist is almost unpredictable.
The same goes for a breakup. They would not want to cut ties completely with you. As they think you might be of some use to them in future. They would not declare the breakup but would show mixed signs, which would force you to go away from them and then blame you for the breakup. They would show that they are still interested and that you are not. So if at all in the future they want to resume the relationship, they can contact you easily. Narcissists would simply not cut all ties with you and would leave some loose ends, through which they can be associated again.
This would not be easy enough for you too, to cut complete ties with them. If you think to no longer consider continuing the relationship, but want to maintain a friendship with your ex-narcissistic-partner, you should give a rethinking to that idea as narcissists can be toxic exes or people who are not easy to deal with after a breakup.
Usually, a narcissistic ex-partner would want you back by all means or not cut all ties, but this may differ from person to person. So try and understand your ex-partner more thoroughly. After understanding the personality trait of your ex-narcissist partner, You can relate to the below-mentioned, Ways How Narcissists Treat Their Exes. There are some common tips we have mentioned below, that work for almost all kinds of narcissistic personalities after a breakup.
Should you be friends with your ex-narcissistic partner even after a breakup?
Ultimately all human beings are good at the core, nobody is born that way, but it is the ways or pursuits of life which are fitted in your life and are forced to pursue that you forget the line between the good and bad. So these are the ways you need to unlearn and establish your own ways of living life. This is completely related to a narcissist, they are a good person, but they just have come to become this way, as they have come across similar personalities so they were not given a chance to improve probably.
So if you wish genuine happiness for them and want to be with them, you can lure them back and can make them come crawling to you but remember this process can be so much draining both physically and mentally. Patience, perseverance, and a lot of sacrifices are up your way in this case. In this case, you can win back your ex-narcissist partner and work your way out.
You can wave to them, speak with them at work when you must, have brief social interactions—but narcissists cannot be friends. Friendship requires trust, time and empathy.
Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi
But if this is not the case, and you just want to be friends with your ex-narcissist partner, it can be possible. But remember you cannot let them control your life. Plus this would be totally difficult because this is not going to be a normal post-breakup friendship. They would try to work their way with you, try to entangle you in all sorts of narcissistic manipulative tactics, but keep your head strong and endure the friendship.
The narcissist seldom changes or it is a long process to change the narcissist. It is a tiring process to maintain the friendship as you know a narcissist’s true nature.
A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life whether they are moneywise control or something else, control over all individuals and their behavior, and also expects everyone around the to focus just on them. They intend to be the center of attraction in all situations. A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships. So just keep in mind all this and then make a decision to be friends with your ex-narcissist partner, post-breakup.
Does a Narcissist wish to be just friends with you post-breakup?
A narcissist would definitely not want to cut complete ties with you and would keep their options open for the future. There are several reasons why a Narcissist wishes to be friends with you post-breakup. A few of them are mentioned below:
A narcissist never wants to lose control over you
After losing control, a Narcissist would try all sorts of techniques to gain back control over you and the situation. When a Narcissist loses control over you, they feel empty. A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life, control over all individuals, and when they lose control over you they feel something is missing. So they would definitely want to continue the friendship even as exes to gain back their control over you.
They would want to keep a door open for physical intimacy
A Narcissist craves physical intimacy, and when you are the most vulnerable they would insist that upon you. They would not tell you this but try to lure you for physical intimacy as soon as you try to recover from a breakup. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to keep you as an option for intimacy as friends. It is like a “Friends with benefits” situation. But once they get what they want to achieve, again they would show their true colors.
Ghosting or gaslighting you can be the topmost priority for a Narcissist once their purpose of physical intimacy with you is completed. When a narcissist feels they can no longer take advantage of you or from you, that’s when they break their friendship too, leaving you So, be ready mentally to expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit.
They always want to keep you as a backup option
A narcissist is always in search of supply, (Supply here refers to giving them attention, praising their accomplishments, providing a sense of entitlement and validation whether it is positive or negative, providing special treatment, and meeting their needs and demands). So even though a narcissist breaks up with you they would want to keep you as a backup as their supply source.
Let us know Ways How Narcissists Treat Their Exes so that you can decide about being friends with a narcissistic ex.
A Narcissist would always want you to continue as friends even after breaking the relationship as romantic partners, so this depends upon you whether to be their victim again as friends. For making the decision easier for you whether to be friends or not, we will be discussing a few Ways How Narcissists Treat their Exes! After reading the below-given points, you can take the decision.
Ways How Narcissists Treat Their Exes
- They would spread rumors about you
- They would suck all the positivity from you
- Expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit
- They would always test your patience and probably trigger you until you freak out
- Might try to win you back with excessive love
- They might blackmail you
- They will be blaming all their fault on you
- Humiliating you through verbal assault
The deeper the bond the more drastic and loud a narcissist’s reactions would be. So it is better to be prepared mentally before triggering a narcissist or becoming their ex or even continuing as friends after break up. As friends too, you will have to bear all narcissistic traits. Be ready for anything unexpected and unusual with friends too and also have a backup in case your plan falls to extremities. So let us discuss these points in detail.
1. They would spread rumors about you
A narcissist would not hesitate even once to spread rumors about you after you break up with them and they lose control over you. They would tell all sorts of stories and lies to turn people around you against you. They would wish all people just cut ties with you and then you have to rely on them. They would not allow people to know your side of the story. In such situations, do not get worried and feel lonely, as this is one of the techniques used by a Narcissist when they lose control over you. In such situations you should:
- Tell people your side of the story and have faith in you so that they do not abandon you with all the wrong ideas of you.
- Initially, a Narcissist might seem winning for some time, but eventually, people would notice the truth and would side with you.
2. They would suck all the positivity from you
Narcissists would be negative friends and would also be intimidating to you. Narcissists have high levels of self-importance, self-esteem, and overconfidence, and also expect a Sense of Entitlement from you always. They would never be positive about your ideas, your thoughts, or your feelings nor they would support you in any such hard situation which can drain positivity out of you too. Being with them may also affect you and at a certain point, you may also lose hope which creates negativity in life.
Dealing with a Narcissist friend can be draining both mentally and physically as they expect you to be always present for them but they are never there for you. Additionally, if you forcefully ask them for helping you, they would not hesitate to bad-mouth you, talk behind your back, also not help instead might also spoil your work, which can be draining both mentally and physically.
3. Expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit
A Narcissist craves physical intimacy, and when you are the most vulnerable they would insist that upon you. They would not tell you this but try to lure you for physical intimacy as soon as you try to recover from a breakup. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to keep you as an option for intimacy as friends. It is like a “Friends with benefits” situation. But once they get what they want to achieve, again they would show their true colors.
Ghosting or gaslighting you can be the topmost priority for a Narcissist once their purpose of physical intimacy with you is completed. When a narcissist feels they can no longer take advantage of you or from you, that’s when they break their friendship too, leaving you So, be ready mentally to expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit.
4. They would always test your patience and probably trigger you until you freak out
A Narcissist would always test your patience and probably trigger you until you freak out. They would always blame you for your breakup because they hate it when they lose control over you. They would trigger you till you are agitated and then prove that you get freaked out always. They would trigger you so that you lose your temper and get vulnerable and they can gain control over you.
5. Might try to win you back with excessive love
Little do you know about their ill intentions! After a breakup, they would show you their love, compliment you, make your favorite dish, want to be around you all the time, note the most minor things, and make you extremely special. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to make you fall in love with them again.
6. They might blackmail you
They would blackmail you with your pictures or any secrets you might have shared while dating. So after you break up, they would use this as a weapon to jeopardize your trust in them and would use this against you. This is one of their peculiar traits to gain back control over you. They might crack mean jokes, might also expose all your secrets, or might use you as an imaginary punch back with their humiliating punches in the face. A Narcissist can be as direct as possible, they even might point fingers at you and might also call you names.
7. They will be blaming all their fault on you
Be ready to be pinned for all the blame for break up. It is them who want to break up, but would hold you responsible for it. A narcissist cannot accept their mistake because according to them, they are never wrong. This is when they make you feel you have done something wrong, but in reality, they are fed up with you and just want to discard you from their life, as they have found a new interest.
Dealing with a Narcissist? Be ready for a long blame game. Despite all the arguments and verbal insults, Narcissists would definitely find a way to come back at you. They are experts in putting all the blame on others. Once they feel you are not going to be putting up with a Narcissist, they will find a way and make up all kinds of lies. Even though seems pretty clear who is at fault, a Narcissist would never take the blame and behave as if you are the one making all the mistakes. They point out others like,
- They might act all innocent despite being at fault and make an appealing point which may seem as if it is the mistake of the other person.
- They might just twist the complete fault and act like they are all innocent and it is the other person who is guilty.
8. Humiliating you through verbal assault
After losing control, a Narcissist would try all sorts of techniques to gain back control over you and the situation. One such technique includes humiliating you at the cost of your mental peace. Embarrassing you in front of a crowd or the people you might be acquainted with would be one of the ways utilized by a Narcissist to get back their control.
They might crack mean jokes, might also expose all your secrets, or might use you as an imaginary punch back with their humiliating punches in the face. A Narcissist can be as direct as possible, they even might point fingers at you and might also call you names.
Conclusion
The narcissist seldom changes or it is a long process to change the narcissist. It is a tiring process to maintain the friendship as you know a narcissist’s true nature.
If you just want to be friends with your ex-narcissist partner, it can be possible. But remember you cannot let them control your life. Plus this would be totally difficult because this is not going to be a normal post-breakup friendship. They would try to work their way with you, try to entangle you in all sorts of narcissistic manipulative tactics, but keep your head strong and endure the friendship.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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