You might have often heard these terms in dating culture, but are they the same? Let us find the contrast and know the actual differences by discussing Love Bombing vs Infatuation. Listening to the word love bombing gives you the gist that it is related to a grand display of love. But is it though? People often are perplexed by such terminologies and find it difficult to differentiate when they actually have to deal with such situations where there is a colossal display of love.
Love bombing and infatuation are both terms that are somehow usually related to not very comfortable styles to display or unveil your love. So to understand both these terminologies in a better sense, let us discuss, Love Bombing vs Infatuation along with some basic explanations and differences.
What is Love Bombing?
Bombing means an active try to acquire a particular target using bombs. In this case, it is a love attack on a particular target victim. It is an act of extreme display of love. Love bombing is an act of over or exaggerated display of love which is usually considered toxic and unhealthy for a successful relationship. In an unhealthy relationship love bombing technique is often taken into practice to cover up mistakes, to recover the lost relationships, or when anything goes wrong, or to manipulate the partner with the help of lovey-dovey or cheezy words, actions, and loud effective gestures.
Love Bombing is a manipulation technique commonly incorporated by narcissists to lure or engage their victims into a relationship. While love bombing seems effective in the initial stages of dating, the relationship becomes vague and blurry as it is made up of toxic pillars of shiny, sometimes false, and exaggerated affection.
What are some of the signs of love bombing?
- The neediness for someone
- Feeling the constant need to communicate
- Always seeking commitment even though the relationship is short-lived
- Need for excessive communication
- Unhealthy need for attention
- Extensive gift showering
- Complimenting excessively
- Spending more than required to impress someone
What does love bombing mean in a relationship?
Love bombing is an act to secure the attention, of a beloved someone by showering them with an obscure amount of gifts, affection, and acclamations. It is a manipulation tactic in the initial stages of meeting someone to secure a relationship with them to get control, hold, and a strong hand in the relationship. Love bombing is usually used by narcissists when they cheat or find their partner moving away.
Is Love Bombing a red flag?
Yes! It is usually considered a red flag for healthy relationships, as the love-bombing partner has some unhealthy or toxic intent behind the excessive showering of gifts, flattery, and affection.
What is Infatuation?
While referring to the dictionary meaning of the word infatuation, states that it is a short-termed or brief feeling of love or admiration for anything. It can either be a person, a thing, a place, or even any moment of life. Infatuation is similar to having OCD for something. Obsessive or idiotic interest or veneration for something or someone is infatuation. In simple words when someone is obsessive or madly involved with feelings of love and unhealthy fascination for someone or something is infatuation.
Is Infatuation unhealthy?
Not necessarily. Infatuation is not unhealthy when it is utilized to know someone more deeply or try to be true to someone, but it becomes unhealthy in extremities.
Is Infatuation stronger than Love?
Infatuation is generally one-sided in many cases, so it is short-termed and may fade away if the feelings are not reciprocated. While true love is mutual. It grows stronger and becomes more visible with time, unlike infatuation. Love feels like a warm sun on cold winter days, while infatuation is like the first snowfall of the season, which is initially enjoyed but withers away quickly. While love is liked and lasts for a longer amount of time.
What triggers Infatuation?
Infatuation is predominantly triggered by projections or some sort of false belief that leads to the obsessive surge of emotions. Infatuation occurs when some sort of signal is passed on from the other person or if the mind gets a temporary belief of affection.
After knowing somewhat about both love bombing and infatuation, let us plunge into knowing more differences between Love Bombing vs Infatuation below,
Love Bombing vs Infatuation – Main Differences
- Intensity of Actions
- Words to deeds ratio
- The shift between dating to relationship
- Maintenance of Boundaries
- Time and wish for Commitment to a healthy relationship
- The love connection
- The rate of developing relationships
- The quality of communication
Let us dig into the details of these words of differences for the act of love bombing and infatuation in reference to its roles and relativity of both these words to relationships.
1. Intensity of Actions
The intensity of actions is very important for a healthy relationship.
Love Bombing – Love bombing includes too much in a very short time which may feel overburdening and sometimes unnecessary. There are too many actions that just build a relationship by sharing. It includes oversharing of personal information, physical intimacy, interests, and almost a chunk of responsibility.
Infatuation – Infatuation also includes almost the same but with a lower intensity. There is no overburdening or over-sharing of personal information, physical intimacy, interests, and responsibilities. As infatuation is commonly one-sided so the course of knowing or building a relationship feels and flows more naturally as compared to love bombing.
2. Words-to-deeds ratio
Words to deeds ratio determine the strength of any relationship.
Love Bombing – Love bombing is very shallow and rushed. There are a lot of rushed moments which are established by excessive compliments, gifting, and false affectionate actions. There are mere shallow words without much involvement of real feelings and efforts in expressing oneself. Love bomber is inconsiderate of true feelings many a time.
Infatuation – Infatuation on the other hand is slower and somewhat involves the connection of building a relationship. The person who is infatuated is very unsure of the feelings of the other party so they cautiously make a step-by-step effort to build a connection with you.
Consistency of efforts, spending quality time, and making equal contributions to a relationship is crucial in relationship building.
Love Bombing – The consistency of love bombing which includes exchanging compliments and making connections can differ and depends on the needs of a person. When a person is love bombing they might seem different but when they have no more purpose left with you, you might feel that they have become a completely different person.
Infatuation – In the case of infatuation, the person who is infatuated with love for someone is unsure as to what the other person might think of them, so they keep on making consistent efforts to be noticed and be reciprocated with the same feelings. Infatuation includes timed and persistent efforts toward each other to keep the pace of the relationship simple and spontaneous.
4. The shift between dating to relationship
The shift between dating to relationship decides the true course of the destination of the partnership.
Love Bombing – Love bombers act all lovey-dovey and shower you with excessive love, gifts, and affection which can be monotonous and overburdening. It seems surreal in the initial stages of dating but as the relationship progresses love bombing fades away. So the transition and partnership seem meaningless when the relationship progresses.
Infatuation – Infatuation seems short and it disappears as both partners get equally involved in an emotional relationship. If the person that you are infatuated with also reciprocates then the infatuation is not considered futile, in fact, it can be considered fruitful. Here there is no fading away or vague excessive gifting, but still the transition seems effortless and longing.
The motives or the purpose of love bombing or infatuation is ultimately to gain a fruitful relationship. So let us know how purposeful both these efforts are indeed.
Love Bombing – The Love bomber usually has a selfish motive and love bombs the partner just to play some manipulative tactic to fulfill their purpose with them. The motives can be feeding their ego, showing off their worth, or many more.
Infatuation – While in the case of Infatuation, the motives can be natural and to some extent selfish as the person really desires their partner. Infatuation may also include the motive of physical intimacy many times, but infatuation is unaffected and includes pure feelings which may not fade away even if the purpose is completed. The motive is to have a natural relationship here.
6. Maintenance of Boundaries
Building Boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship, as constant involvement of one another in each other’s matters is not advisable and even likable.
Love Bombing – Love bombing is a technique that includes oversharing and interfering hence it is without the inclusion of boundaries. Love bombing includes constant communication, and the love bombers might text you constantly in the initial phases of dating. But with the passing of time, the rate of communication fluctuates. And too much communication might be unlikable for you, so when you demand some space, you may be the bad person or might see the bad side of love bombers.
Infatuation – Infatuation is mostly one-sided in the initial stages, so there is some sort of boundary as they might not want to upset their to be partners by too much involvement. Infatuation provides more space and boundaries as compared to love bombing and this is one of the positive points of infatuation.
7. Time and wish for Commitment to a healthy relationship
Wishing to commit wholeheartedly and providing time to build a healthy relationship is very crucial to build a strong and solid relationship.
Love Bombing – As far as love bombing is involved in the relationship the chances to commit and build a healthy relationship are risky as love bombing is rushing through emotions and attraction. Love bombing can last the entire course of the relationship or even can fade away after the initial stage. There is no certainty in the course of love bombing.
Infatuation – While infatuation is slow and steady with the end results of settling in or committing if the feelings become mutual and the bond is established by both partners. As it is not rushed, enough time is spared to know each other better thus making commitment promisable at the end of the course.
Toxicity is one such factor that need not get involved in order to build a worthy and well-structured relationship. Toxicity makes the pillars of a relationship hollow which makes the bond shallow and brittle.
Love Bombing – Love bombing seems toxic and it is toxic as love bombers have the purpose of controlling the relationship and holding a strong foot in the relationship. It is all about gaining control and being the upper hand in a relationship.
Infatuation – While with infatuation the feelings are organic, and also the intention may seem toxic but it is not toxic if intended to build a long-term relationship. Infatuation may seem unhealthy for many individuals, but is it bad to be crazy for love? The answer is no! Infatuation is madness and some madness leads to successful relationships which are healthy and have long-lasting love.
Empathy knits the cardigan of the relationship. Empathy is the thread that makes the strong bond to build a sturdy end product of a relationship.
Love Bombing – Love bombing includes fake empathy initially but with time, the relationship becomes all about them. Love bombing is a technique used by narcissists, and narcissists have no heart in the course of the relationship.
Infatuation – Empathy is an important factor for the infatuated person. It provides a window to make a real relationship, that can be strong and long-lasting over the course of time. An infatuated person carefully knits threads of love, empathy, care, and support to make a beautifully warm, and long-lived relationship.
There should be equality and balance in a relationship with both partners holding control over each other cautiously, carefully, and equally. Nobody is superior to each other. Both have equal power and control in the relationship.
Love Bombing – You almost lose your self-worth, self-love, and self-respect, and most importantly you lose yourself dating a narcissist or a love bomber. One partner holds all the importance and considers themselves superior to the other. No equality between partners and thus the love bomber holds the upper hand in the relationship.
Infatuation – In the case of infatuation, both partners hold equal importance. There is no superiority. There is an equal balance of control and importance and the infatuated person has no interest in controlling the relationship.
Love bombing is a tactic used by narcissists, while infatuation may be genuine and trustworthy in many cases as the infatuated person may be genuine.
Love Bombing – Dating a love bomber is full of challenges. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, tantrums, emotional unavailability, and toxic traits. A love bomber or a Narcissist can make you feel like you are on cloud nine for one moment and the next moment is like they don’t even want to be with you.
Infatuation – While an infatuated person is supportive and also expects a supportive and positively growing relationship. There is competition but it is healthy competitiveness, there are harsh or nasty feelings involved.
Healthy dependency is good for a relationship, but over-dependency is harmful and overburdens the other person.
Love Bombing – A love bomber showers you with so much and in return expects that you invest your time completely in them. They want to make you aloof from everyone, and thus their dependency on you keeps on increasing.
Infatuation – An infatuated person doe snot want to rule out the option of independence, thus making the relationship a safe space for both independent individuals.
Motivation keeps the relationships ignited and going.
Love Bombing – You might be completely blinded by their manipulative tactics that you almost forget what a normal relationship looks like. You begin to doubt yourself, your life choices, and even sometimes your sanity. Because a love bomber can affect you profoundly if you are not self-conscious and blindly follow how a narcissist guides you.
Infatuation – There is mutual respect and trustworthiness between partners if you build a relationship with a person you are infatuated with.
14. The love connection
Building a connection that involves genuine love, care and understanding is the ultimate truth of building relationships.
Love Bombing – Love Bombers are afraid to confess anything as according to them they are perfect, have no faults, they are superior to others and nobody can understand them better than themselves. Thus they lack empathy, care, emotional bond, and intimacy. They would be emotionally unavailable to you.
Infatuation – The love connection is genuine when a person is infatuated with someone. They might not understand the initial feeling and define it as love, but their main motive is to build a strong connection based on love and affection.
15. The rate of developing relationships
The ideal speed or rate of developing a relationship should be slow and gradual and the inclusion of all important feelings according to relationship experts and therapists.
Love Bombing – Love bombers rush to develop a bond, leaving important steps in between to reach the end of the course of the relationship. They want to rush their emotions and feelings. They might be making false promises or commitments, but they do not come true to them. They prefer to date many prospects, but refrain to give life-long commitments.
Infatuation – While dating an infatuated person, you might realize and cherish the slow and gradual growth of the relationship as they are peaceful and do not rush to force emotions on you.
16. The quality of communication
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. But not just bare talk, but an in-depth chat can create a huge difference in building a long-lasting healthy relationship.
Love Bombing – A love bomber lacks emotional availability and instead emotions are hidden or camouflaged behind fakeness. There are many lies, lies, and lies. Narcissists would use flattery and mirroring techniques for deceiving you, hide their true personality and intentions behind the mirrored image, distort your attention from reality and continue obtaining their supply. Narcissists may even succeed for once in their little trick of distorting reality but keep in mind that a narcissist tends to make lies once they gain your trust.
Infatuation – Communication is like a link to connect with a partner when someone is infatuated with love. They try to communicate as much as they can to know more about you and to inform you more about them.
Now that we know the required differences between, Love Bombing vs Infatuation, let us know some points of differences between a healthy and toxic relationship.
|What does a healthy relationship look like?||What does an unhealthy/toxic relationship look like? (Maybe a relationship with a Narcissist)|
|Mutual respect and trustworthiness||Lacks trust, belief in what others have to say rather than each other, unhealthy mockery regarding character, habits, etc, lack of respect, and smearing each other’s character.|
|Building a reliable relationship together.||Ready to end the relationship for trivial things and not be there for each other whenever required. Making important decisions together. One makes the decisions and the other one follows without much input. Healthy and regular communication and conversations; healthy ways to solve issues. Lack of communication, and lack of conversations. Instead of solving the issues, there would be a long blame game, without a solution at the end of the topic. Issues just keep layering up without any mutual solutions.|
|Both partners hold equal importance||One partner holds all the importance and considers themselves superior to the other. No equality between partners|
|Emotional availability for each other and truth is the key||Lack of emotional availability, instead emotions are hidden or camouflaged behind fakeness. Lies, lies, and many lies.|
|Supporting each other’s growth. Healthy competitiveness||Growth is less appreciated and jealousy takes place of the praise. There is unhealthy competitiveness.|
|Understanding and supporting each other’s causes||Lack of understanding. Rather than supporting each other’s cause, just taking benefits from it.|
|Fulfilling responsibilities and creating a healthy and enjoyable atmosphere.||Neglecting responsibilities and creating an unhealthy and saddening atmosphere to live in.|
|Giving equal importance to partners along with desires, habits, and traits.||Fulfilling materialistic desires and giving importance to them over the partner. Choosing unhealthy habits and traits.|
|Anger control, better problem solving, and promoting the individuality of partners||Arrogance and anger is your first reaction to any problems. Lack of sensitivity to solve problems in a better manner. More blaming rather than solving. One partner keeps compromising their individuality and the other takes advantage of that.|
Listening to the words love bombing and infatuation gives you the gist that it is related to a grand display of love but with reference to this article the differences are much more clear. Love bombing and infatuation are both terms that are somehow usually related to not very comfortable styles to display or unveil your love, but by knowing both concepts in depth, it is clear that infatuation can be healthy up to some extent while love bombing is unnatural and unhealthy for a relationship.
- 10 Things That Happen When You Discard The Narcissist First - November 21, 2023
- Does The Narcissist Love The Other Woman? - November 21, 2023
- Narcissists And Good Morning Texts: 7 Ways To Handle Them - November 17, 2023