How Narcissists Charm People?

How Narcissists Charm People? Narcissists leave a long-lasting impression on people when they meet for the first time. So why are Narcissists so Charming? How do they use this charm to attract people?

Narcissists are some of the most charming and irresistible people you might have encountered. They can mesmerize you by their looks, pompous personality, and aura. Thus while you meet them for the first time you might get drawn to their appealing personalities and would have an urge to know them more.

This is how a narcissist traps their victim, to manipulate them and gain their narcissistic supply. Thus their charm and charisma are two of the most evident features that may attract people to them.

You might get pulled by their magnetic personalities so much so that their red flags might not be visible anymore. It is difficult to know a person inside out instantly as it takes time, and this is the window a narcissist gets to abuse, manipulate, and use a person.

You may not know about their real personalities instantly but with time you might gradually realize that their charm is temporary while their true nature is toxic, abusive, and harmful.

Has it ever happened that one person you meet feels just right for you? This is the person who left a lasting impression on you and you cannot stop thinking about them? They are just perfect and too good to be real.

You keep ignoring your intuitions and gut feelings just to be with them. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who may be toxic yet your heart tells you to continue dating as they are so convincing? This may happen as the initial charm and chase of the relationship and the enchanting personality of the person keeps pulling you deeper into the relationship.

You might not be able to believe your good fortune, that you find such a person. Your family, friends, or well-wishers might have warned you about this person, saying “This person is too good to be true, maybe he/she is a Narcissist”, but you might just avert them by saying, “What do you know, I like this person, and you are just jealous that I found someone so charming!”

The charm and charisma wear off with time, and what remains is their reality, which is their toxic, abusive, and manipulative identity.

Why do Narcissists seem so charming at first?

Narcissists are known to be manipulative, cunning, mean, and self-centered beings, who are capable of putting on a social persona that makes them appear as someone with authenticity, charm, appeal, and stunning personalities. Their tactics are geared toward controlling their relationships, upturning people to their side, isolating them from their loved ones, and getting the utmost benefit from them.

It is easy to fall in love with a narcissist and that too at first sight. Their charm is irresistible, their dazzling looks may work like a magnet for you, their achievements and success may overwhelm you and lastly, the flattery may completely hypnotize you.

People usually gravitate towards narcissists as their energy, aura, and personality are constantly pulling you towards them. They are the center of attention wherever they go, and thus they can easily charm people around them.

The primary experience of dating a narcissist can give you butterflies in your stomach, you may feel you have found the one, and the world seems to be more endearing because you have found someone who loves you.

You may be pampered, showered with flattery, cared and loved. You may feel like you may have reached the peak of happiness with them and they might be the most important person to you.

You may be attracted to them due to their,

  • Self-Confidence – Narcissists exert this self-confidence that makes them irresistible and enticing. They have this superpower to charm people and make a significant first impression. You might find yourself thinking about them even after a few days, as they know the skill to leave lasting impressions.
  • Eye contact – Narcissists have this appealing gaze that can leave you looking at them and getting glimpses now and then if they are around. A narcissist can grip someone just with their gaze especially if they desire something from the other person.
  • PersonalityNarcissists are known to be manipulative, cunning, mean, and self-centered beings, who are capable of putting on a social persona that makes them appear as someone with authenticity, charm, appeal, and stunning personality.
  • IntelligenceCerebral narcissists have this different self-confidence due to their atypical bits of intelligence and irresistible charm. Cerebral narcissists often try to win over their victims, by their intelligence and tricking your brains with their mind power.

How Narcissists Charm People?

Narcissists would be into you at the beginning of the relationship that they would idolize you, love bomb you, and when they have your trust they would start the devaluation phase where they isolate you and make you completely involved just with them making you almost dependent and then they treat you like you were never important once their purpose is done with you.

So let us know how they manipulate and charm people,


Who does not like a compliment? A compliment can make a person’s day better as it brings a smile to your face instantly. But with narcissists the compliment may or may not be genuine, and they may just be using it as bait to lure you in and grab your attention.

A compliment may be like a sunbeam that shines the brightest on a dark day. It is enough to light up a person’s mood, and thus the person who complimented may also be there in your memory for at least that day.

The narcissist exactly wants that. They want you to remember it as a good memory that brings a smile to your face and thus they try to lure in into their toxic world.

Narcissists may not be genuine with their compliments and their compliments may be targeted to the things you own, materialistic compliments or superficial, like “Nice watch”, “You are amazing”, or “You are good”, but they may not mention what is good or how the other person amazing.

Good Story Tellers

Narcissists have mastered the art of storytelling. They are pretty skilled so much so that they can hide the truth entirely. They can tell a convincing and made-up story to deflect the reality of the situation and divert attention.

Their narratives are crafty and their tales are so nicely woven that they can grab attention. their charming stories often display the narcissist in a good light and too good to be true.

They may also make up stories or borrow other people’s ideas and stories to bring attention. They know how a good story and narration can grab people’s attention. Their stories may also be inquisitive so people are eager to know more about them.

Narcissists lie about their past

Narcissists are pathological liars. They may lie about their past to make themselves look kinder, caring, and a person with a golden heart. They may lie about all sorts of events like,

  • How they treated their previous partner and how they were left alone to suffer as they are emotional and understanding. They may victimize themselves and villainize their exes.
  • How they nursed their grandparents in need.
  • How they care and work for the poor and needy.

Truth always finds a way to be revealed. So to avoid such situations, narcissists often change their jobs, move houses, and also try different cities so that they can protect their fragile reality and their lies are safe.

Say you are Soulmates

Narcissists would convince you soulfully that they are your “soul mates” or “the one”. They may make you feel special by saying,

  • “Do you feel the bond?”
  • “Isn’t the connection between us passionate”
  • “I can feel how divine our bond is; Do you also feel the same?”

Narcissists have superficial bonds and relationships, that are based on transactional relations. They often form shallow relationships with people with whom they are associated intimately. They develop relationships based on shallow compliments and beliefs.

Their bonds may seem intimate initially, but over time the reality may hit you and you may be able to see the reality of the relationship you have formed with the abusive and toxic narcissist.


This is the most used narcissistic tactic to lure their victims. They mirror the person they are trying to charm and lure in. They may often adapt and copy their likes, dislikes, interests, mannerisms, and even part of personalities.

They may agree, disagree, believe, think, and even act to you. They may be your mirror and thus they may make you fall in love with them. Mirroring can create a sense of closeness, an instant connection, and a free way to form a bond, even if it is based on lies and factually incorrect information.


Flattery is one of the secret weapons that narcissists use to manipulate others. They love to construct an image that can gain attention using flattery. For them, flattery is like adding salt to make a balanced dish. They may make you feel good along with bagging compliments for themselves.

Gifts and Gestures

Narcissists may give expensive gifts and make grand gestures to grab your attention. They may manipulate you with their acts of kindness. They may try to create a sense of obligation in the receiver thus making it challenging for the recipient to deny their request.

In Conclusion

Narcissists are greedy for attention, adoration, and validation in the form of narcissistic supply and thus they might be having multiple dating partners at the same time. As they are well aware of their irresistible charms and thus they use their fullest potential to impress people and gain what they desire.

It is necessary to be aware of such relationships that are not based on genuine feelings and emotions. Save yourself from falling prey to narcissist’s charms and charisma.

It is also important to note that not all people who exude such charm are narcissistic, and so you need to be careful while dealing with different people with vibrant, charming, and buzzing personalities around you.

True relationships are based on trust, empathy, respect, and love. Thus beware of manipulative and toxic relationships.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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