Why are Narcissists so Charming? Narcissists are some of the most charming and irresistible people you might have ever come across as someone who is narcissistic. They can mesmerize you either by their charming looks, their pompous personality, or their aura. Why is it so?
You might not know instantly about them being narcissistic, but it is gradually realized that their charm is temporary while their permanent nature is being toxic, abusive, and harmful. Has it ever happened that one person you meet feels just right for you? This is the person who left a lasting impression on you and you cannot stop thinking about them? They are just perfect and someone who is too good to be real.
You might not be able to believe your good fortune, that you find such a person. Your family, friends, or well-wishers might have warned you about this person, saying “This person is too good to be true, maybe he/she is a Narcissist”, but you might just avert them by saying, “What do you know, I like this person, and you are just jealous that I found someone so charming!”
Narcissists are known to be manipulative, cunning, mean, and self-centered beings, who are capable of putting on a social persona that makes them appear as someone with authenticity, charm, appeal, and stunning personalities. Their tactics are geared toward controlling their relationships, upturning people to their side, isolating them from their loved ones, and getting the utmost benefit from them.
It is a common sight when a narcissist treats their partners charmingly, respectfully, and with the utmost care as all they care is about obtaining their narcissistic supply.
Why Are Narcissists So Charming?
It is really easy to fall in love with a narcissist and that too at first sight. Their charm is irresistible, their dazzling looks may work like a magnet for you, their achievements and success may overwhelm you and lastly, the flattery may completely hypnotize you.
People usually gravitate towards narcissists as their energy, aura, and personality are constantly pulling you towards them. They are the center of attention wherever they go, and thus they are able to easily charm people around them.
Let us know a few more detailed reasons why narcissists are so charming,
Narcissists always present their best selves to everyone wherever and whenever they go. Though narcissists might be elated to hear this they are the people that are more likable and attractive than others. Their first impressions always leave a lasting effect on people.
According to a study published by Washington University, it is found that narcissists have a distinctive personality that is their significant signature.
People who are more inclined towards narcissism, tend to always dress perfectly, they are always cheerful, and make an appeal. They are so fixated on impressing others, that they might do everything that takes to appear charming and perfectly dressed.
Somatic narcissists draw more attention by flaunting their looks and beauty in the form of their physique or good looks. Somatic narcissists are usually the ones, who would believe that they are some of the most beautiful-looking people, and their beauty is unmatched. They have this notion that people have to pay attention or tribute to their chic bodies.
Narcissists always want to present themselves as the best-appearing versions of themselves, hence they always want to be well-groomed. All a narcissist cares about is attention, supply, shiny high-end portrait, money, and control above all. Narcissists are usually materialistic and obsessed with everything which makes their social and outer image lustrous.
Narcissist believes that the chicer, neater, and more meticulous they present themself as the more they can attract someone. All a narcissist needs are attentiveness, focus, and spotlight so they would be doing anything that can get them those. They want to attract supply, thus they prefer to present themselves in a more stylish and posh manner by dressing meticulously and remaining well-groomed.
There are several studies that are enough to establish a link between narcissism and physical attractiveness. Thus physical appearance is a stand-out feature for a narcissist to be so charming and appealing.
Self-confidence in simple terms is belief in oneself. It is a means that defines an individual’s performance on a given occasion. Narcissists are self-confident beings as they trust their abilities, instincts, and success rate in impressing others.
Having a healthy amount of self-confidence can make you more successful in both your professional and personal lives. Thus narcissists constantly boast about their professional and personal proficiencies.
Narcissists exert this self-confidence that makes them irresistible and enticing. They have this superpower to charm people and make a significant first impression. You might find yourself thinking about them even after a few days, as they know the skill to leave lasting impressions.
Cerebral narcissists have this different self-confidence due to their atypical bits of intelligence and irresistible charm. Cerebral narcissists often try to win over their victims, by their intelligence and tricking your brains with their mind power. They are inordinately intelligent and would use those intellectual abilities to pursue and manipulate you.
While somatic narcissists exude self-confidence due to their chic bodies, sex appeal, physique, and achievements regarding their beauty.
These two types of narcissistic personalities often believe that their uniqueness makes them entitled and thus demand so much from people.
Narcissists have this tendency to brag about their wealth, health, partners or spouses, family, possessions, and all such things. Thus all these things provide the narcisist with a different kind of self-confidence which makes their charm even more prominent.
Thus narcissists are able to establish their power and control through their self-confidence, which can even also including invading people’s boundaries.
Narcissists have this appealing gaze that can leave you looking at them and getting their glimpses every now and then if they are around. A narcissist has the ability to grip someone just with their gaze especially if they desire something from the other person.
Though gazes are conventional ways to exude natural charm even among people who do not possess narcissistic traits. Extroverts, self-confident people, or people with high profiles also have this ability to grasp people with strong gazes. Thus it is not necessary that people who are masters of eye contact are always narcissistic.
Narcissists are either bestowed with charming personalities or they work hard to build such personalities. Thus charm in the hands of narcissists makes it a lethal source to control others just with eye contact.
Narcissists know this fact very well that they just have to turn on their charming side to win over their spouses, partners, or victims even after abusing them. Also, people always give in to the narcissist’s charm and thus they always have their ways even after making their partners, spouses, or victims suffer for a long period of time.
Short term Objectives
Narcissists always date with a clear objective in mind and that is usually having short-term relationships just to obtain optimum narcissistic supply and quickly switch on to new partners.
Also, first impressions wear off pretty quickly, yet people are mesmerized by the narcissist’s charm.
Narcissists put in everything to impress their desired partners and thus their partners find it difficult to resist their initial charm and chase. These charms and chase may not last longer in physicality, yet it leaves a lasting impression on their victims.
How is it dating a Narcissist after the Love Bombing Phase?
Love bombing is an act of over or exaggerated display of love which is usually considered toxic and unhealthy for a successful relationship. In an unhealthy relationship love bombing technique is often taken into practice to cover up mistakes, to recover the lost relationships, or when anything goes wrong, or to manipulate the partner with the help of lovey-dovey or cheezy words, actions, and loud effective gestures.
Love Bombing is a manipulation technique commonly incorporated by narcissists to lure or engage their victims into a relationship. While love bombing seems effective in the initial stages of dating, the relationship becomes vague and blurry as it is made up of toxic pillars of shiny, sometimes false, and exaggerated affection.
Narcissists would be so into you at the beginning of the relationship that they would idolize you, love bomb you, and when they have your trust they would start the devaluation phase where they isolate you and make you completely involved just with them making you almost dependent and then they treat you like you were never important once their purpose is done with you.
Their initial commitments and promises are fake but seem real. But they are just for the namesake as narcissists never carry through them. They gaslight you, make you feel at fault and you might even doubt your sanity.
Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist
Here are your cues to spot the narcissist and save yourself from all the trauma that is coming your way,
Though not all those people who exert these signs are narcissistic, these signs are worth noting if you come across a narcissist.
Narcissists always dress in the most fashionable sense even if it includes wearing flashy clothes to attract attention from people.
They always have this sense of self-confidence that you can always feel from the way they exaggerate things about themselves to impress others.
They would be bragging about their perfect families, familial bonds and wealth, and how they are always bonding. Remember that nobody or no family is perfect, it is just an exaggerated portrayal of the family by the narcissist.
Narcissists are prone to bringing negativity into your life too. They have a vast range of negative emotions that come along with their charm. Those emotions include anxiety, depression, self-doubt, shame, and even guilt. They are egocentric and are self-absorbed. They would always be bragging about themselves and may not even care to listen to what you have to say.
They portray the picture of being super generous publically but are some of the most inconsiderate and unkind people privately. They only tend to present themselves as generous just to gain attention, power, and control.
Their mind is filled with negative thoughts and they always think of the worst-case scenarios in difficult situations. They imagine that every criticism is meant for them and get defensive just at the thought of it.
Narcissists have this tendency to put people down and brag about themselves.
Narcissists are greedy for attention, adoration, and validation in the form of narcissistic supply and thus they might be having multiple dating partners at the same time. As they are well aware of their irresistible charms and thus they use their fullest potential to impress people and gain what they desire.
Falseness, lack of trust, breach of commitments, and disloyalty are some of the narcissistic traits that are an integral part of their character and personality. They even have control issues so they can’t control their nasty desires, materialistic needs, and physical intimacy needs.
It is also important to note that not all people who exude such charm are narcissistic, and so you need to be careful while dealing with different people with vibrant, charming, and buzzing personalities around you.
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