Having An Affair With A Married Narcissist – What Should You Know?

by Ella Carrillo · October 17, 2023

What if knowingly or unknowingly you are having an Affair with a Married Narcissist? First of all, you may be dismayed to know that a narcissist can have affairs and trick their partners effortlessly.

Having an affair with someone who may be a narcissistic individual, may seem like a common sight, but the worry factor here is that what if that narcissist is already married? Having an affair with a married narcissist would be a roller coaster ride and you might be unaware and surprised by the fact that you even got into such a catastrophic relationship.

Narcissists are fickle and infidelity is one of the traits or characteristics that is ingrained in them. They might have multiple affairs, despite the fact that they might be committed to their partners. Though generalizing narcissistic behavior and placing all narcissists under those common traits might not be fair, some characteristics remain extensive to almost each and every narcissist for that matter.

These common traits include manipulation, infidelity, abuse, lying straight to the face, dishonesty, love bombing, and so on. One such trait infidelity is discussed below. You may also be able to reach conclusions about the topic, how to react, and what to know while having an Affair with a Married Narcissist.

Having An Affair With A Married Narcissist

Narcissistic individuals are prone to be despicable and cheat on their partners by having multiple affairs. The definite time or duration of those affairs cannot be determined as the narcissist might only entertain their partners as long as they have something to offer that is valuable to the narcissist.

If you are having an affair with a narcissist who is married then it is advisable to be extra careful and prewarned of the discard phase as narcissists have various phases of dating.

How is it dating a Narcissist?

There are three basic dating phases while dating a narcissist, as acknowledged by mental health experts, psychologists, and knowledgeable therapists;

1. Attraction or Idealization Phase

The first and most menacing phase of dating a Narcissist is the Idealization phase. Attraction or Idealization is the step where they spot you and grab your attention, like spotting a target for obtaining their supply.

This step feels like you are on cloud nine as they make you feel so special with the technique called love bombing. They would make you feel so special and out of the world, that you would think, you have found the love of your life.

2. Devaluation Phase

The Devaluation phase begins as soon as a narcissist is able to completely lure you in. Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics.

They start showing their true face, gradually. To make their grip even firm on you and establish complete control over you they would try to isolate you from your friend group, relatives, and anyone you can rely on emotionally. This is the phase when you really realize what trap you are in!

Discard Phase or Rejection Phase

The Discard phase begins when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains.

The Discard phase is the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like a pawn, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. They just end things abruptly without any established reasons.

This toxic cycle is like a toxic loop that is endless when you are dating a narcissist, as a narcissist might not mind having multiple affairs and might discard a partner once their purpose is served. Thus there are chances that you may also end up being devalued and discarded if you have an affair with a married or unmarried narcissist. Having an affair or any romantic relationship with a narcissist is exactly like this, as they are never completely able to commit to any relationship.

What should you know while having an affair with a married narcissist?

Narcissists would not think twice before discarding their extramarital affair. They would not even care to provide an explanation for their actions. They frequently do this when their needs are met or they meet someone better. They might not disclose that they are married, and seek out advantage in the form of dating someone new.

Narcissists love the charm and chase that come with new relationships. They take complete benefit of the fact that their new partners are completely unaware of the abusive relationship they are getting into, thus they would enjoy that honeymoon phase of the new relationship only to disappear and ghost their partners once they get what they need.

Being married or unmarried does not change many things for the narcissist. In some cases, the narcissist might not even disclose that they are married and leave you before you find out some details about them.

In other cases, when you dig deeper into the narcissist you are dating and you know their reality, they might make fake promises of leaving their partners and being with you instead. They make huge promises that might reinforce the attachment of the relationship, only to break off abruptly later.

Narcissists would just care about their feelings and would give you heartbreak as they would never leave their partners as they promised. The person who is their external marital affair might be heartbroken when they leave you without informing you. They might also block you, ghost you, and disappear out of thin air when they are done with you.

A narcissist might always take their partners for granted and might also disrespect the rules and piousness of the bond of marrying a soul.

If a person willingly and knowingly agrees to have an affair with a married narcissist, then the blame and guilt are shared, thus the narcissist might not even feel even a bit of shame for cheating their partners.

Points to observe when you are having an affair with a married Narcissist

A married narcissist might often insist on having long-distance and distant affairs which may include online dating. They might prefer chatting, texting, or even sexting rather than physically meeting in many cases. The narcissist might have numerous anonymous profiles that they use to lure in various victims despite being married and having kids. They might either hide their marital status or just pretend to be divorced or separated.

Narcissists have the ability to be with their family one moment, and the very next moment they might be cruising with their marital affair. They do this effortlessly and without stressing or flinching. They can be totally present at the moment with whosoever they are with without a bit of stress or anxiety.

A married narcissist often resorts to many love bombing tactics as they are always short of time. The more and more they love bombs the lesser their affair might dig deeper. Thus they can hide the facts and keep enjoying the company of their love affair. Some narcissists might also have mistresses throughout the span of their married life.

Narcissists are overachievers in life, thus they might always have that financial stability that allows them to have multiple affairs without many constraints. A narcissist might always make excuses like work travel or work-related businesses when they wish to spend time either with their partner or their extramarital affair.

The reality of dating a narcissist is that they are masters of manipulation and have a way with words. They might always convince their partner or their affair when either of them gets suspicious about their intentions. Despite being so clever and sharp-minded, a person who is either married to a narcissist or is dating a married narcissist might always find themselves getting anxious, suspicious, and doubting the narcissist due to their behavior.

Narcissists are able to effortlessly deceive their partners when they are with the person they are having an affair with, and vice versa. When withier of the person is aware of their intentions, they might be spewing their word net insisting that the same will never be repeated only to get into it once again.

Narcissists have this charm and blessing that they are always the same with both parties at the same time. They lie with the same intensity which makes their lies believable. They have the capacity to make both people co-dependent on them and thus take advantage of their vulnerability.

So if you are an individual who is just looking for a casual hook-up relationship, or just a brief affair that comes and goes with the charm and chase, or you do not mind being dumped nonchalantly, and if you are someone who is not bothered by having someone married as your affair, then this may be a total success for you. As this might seem like a perfect relationship for you.

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

Having An Affair With A Married Narcissist – What Should You Know?