Narcissistic Enablers – The Hidden Dangers In Your Social Circle
What are Narcissistic Enablers? How are they damaging and hazardous to your social circle? Let us know further.
Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and external validation. Their life revolves around how others might perceive them; thus, they seek external validation for the smallest things. They depend on others to validate and make them feel good about their lives.
Thus narcissists often assemble a crew that does all their work. They are the flying monkeys, the attack dogs, cheerleaders, damage controllers, security guards, kinfolks, or the people who would protect the narcissist no matter what. They clean up the narcissist’s mess. These people are so brainwashed by the narcissist that they are unable to see the fact that they are being manipulated by the narcissist.
Narcissists like it when they are praised, appreciated, and liked by others. This is all they need in the form of narcissistic supply. Narcissistic enablers do the same for them, they help the narcissist to gain what they want in exchange for fulfilling their desires through the narcissist. The narcissists do not just have one enabler, they have a complete crew who defends, protects, and supports the narcissist in all situations.
So what is a narcissistic enabler and how are they toxic too? Let us know further.
What is a Narcissist Enabler?
An enabler is a person who makes things possible for others. Such people encourage negative behaviors in others and often lead them to the destruction of relations. They help people sustain their addictions that may encourage their codependency, and protect unhealthy and destructive habits of such detrimental people. They also encourage self-destruction in others.
Enablers are often those people who engage others in self-destructive activities that may include substance abuse, cheating, lying, and so on. Enablers always have a plausible reason or a believable excuse to make things possible for others. They can also save people from unwanted situations by finding ways that may allow people to avoid certain consequences.
Thus narcissistic enablers are people who make things possible for a narcissistic person by hook or by crook. Narcissist enablers are people who protect, look out for, and vindicate the narcissist and always have their backs even in negative and toxic situations.
Some narcissistic enablers may also adopt the narcissist’s abusive tactics to defend them. These tactics include gaslighting, projection, and triangulation. Thus some narcissistic can be as toxic as the narcissist as they have such a toxic company and also they choose to be so. This is also one of the reasons why they are referred to as “The Flying Monkeys” of the narcissist.
“Flying Monkeys” is a term used by mental health experts concerning the characters of the Wizard of Oz, who followed the wicked, scary, and bad witch.
What does the term flying monkeys mean regarding mental health issues?
“Flying Monkeys” is a term used to describe people who bid for narcissists, side with them, or do their dirty work to charge punishments on their targets. Flying Monkeys are the supporters, minions, and helpers who help their cruel agendas of threatening you, showing you what you are missing, forcing you to get back with them, or even being a reason that a narcissist might be upset with you when you share a concern regarding them with one of their flying monkeys.
A narcissist would assist one of their flying monkeys to do all the dirty work.
Signs of a Narcissist Enabler
There are various signs to identify a narcissist enabler and keep your distance from them, as they can be as toxic as the narcissist.
Signs of a narcissist enabler are as follows,
The Narcissist is their drug of Choice
Narcissists crave attention, validation, and admiration while narcissist enabler craves the narcissist. In short, they need, desire, and want the narcissist in their life and thus they become the narcissist enabler just because of the attraction they have. It may be difficult to understand why someone would be so attracted to the narcissist, whose traits are repelling.
Dealing with issues of the narcissist brings a rush of adrenaline for the enabler and thus they experience the exhilarating feeling that is similar to those when people are high on drugs. Even if the enabler leaves the narcissist, they keep coming back to them.
They put the narcissist before themselves
To pick the sight of an enabler, one sign is obvious and that is they might put a certain someone’s needs, desires, and wishes before their own. Narcissistic enablers would go out of their way to keep the narcissist happy, would sacrifice their own needs and happiness for the narcissist and blindly work to fulfill the narcissist’s wishes. This is a clear sign of an enabler.
They protect the narcissist from their narcissistic self
Narcissists also have behavioral tendencies that later lead to a fallout that includes being reckless, destructive, and damaging. But some people make sure the narcissist is not affected by their wrongdoing and protect them from the consequences of those negative conduct.
They might protect the narcissist at all costs even if costs them their happiness and self-sacrifices. They apologize on their behalf, patch up relationships, protect the narcissist’s grandiose image, clean up the messes that the narcissist made, and do all the damage control.
Their abilities are used by the narcissist
Narcissists are the jewelers that refine the raw gems meaning they find such enablers who blindly follow them. They are very good at recognizing such useful traits, abilities, skills, and helpfulness of people from whom they can benefit. When you come across someone whose abilities, skills, and helpful nature are being used by the narcissist for their benefit without any hesitation then you have come across a narcissist enabler.
They are part of the Narcissist’s inner circle
Narcissists are the meanest and most selfish people on Earth. Not exaggerating though but narcissists are extremely self-centered and only have people around them who can bring a lot to the table to help them. The enabler provides them what they want and thus has a spot on the inner circle of the narcissist.
They stand up for the Narcissist
Whatever the situation may be, a narcissist enabler is always there with the narcissist, standing next to them reinforcing their every move and decision. They may minimize the narcissist’s wrongdoings, try to cover up for them, deny blame, and blame others to protect the narcissist. They may have double standards as their rules are only meant for others and not the narcissists.
They always choose the narcissist’s side
Narcissists are always right according to their version of reality. They might have a difference of opinions, fights, debates, and combats every now and then with people who do not fit into their version of reality. So people who side with the narcissist and become their allies in the worst of situations despite the narcissist being the culprit can often be tagged as narcissist enablers.
They are driven by fear
When someone fears disappointing the narcissist or does not want to get on bad terms with them, then you are spotting a narcissist enabler. Enablers are often driven by fears that include fear of abandonment, failure, abuse, or being left out. Thus these fears make enablers more devoted to the narcissist and safeguard themselves from the consequences of upsetting the narcissist.
Why Do People Become Narcissistic Enablers?
There are a few reasons that may push people to be an enabler, especially narcissistic enablers and those reasons can be,
They have a trauma bond with the narcissist
Trauma bonding is a type of emotional bond that the narcissist forms in the form of emotional attachment, that may develop from repetitive traumatic and manipulative behavioral experiences. So when they do this, they are just manipulating you into believing their lies.
Trauma bonding includes building a strong, deep, and unbreakable connection with someone to take advantage of, mistreat them, and gain someone else’s loyalty. Trauma bonding brings forth a person’s loyalty, affection, and love. It is part of the narcissist’s cycle of abuse. Thus narcissist enablers would not be able to leave them.
Fear of abandonment
Many enablers are codependents and thus they have a deep-rooted fear of being left out or alone. This causes them to have involuntary relationships. Narcissists on the other hand are vindictive, thus if the enabler might have gotten on the wrong terms with the narcissist before, they might try to get on the good side of the narcissist and not leave them. Thus they have an inseparable relationship with the relationship out of fear of being abandoned.
They have low self-esteem
Low Self-esteem often becomes a weak link for some people enabling them to become co-dependent enablers. People with low self-esteem are charmed by the narcissist due to their undeniable charm and thus their vulnerabilities allow the narcissist to manipulate them easily.
Once the narcissist has someone who follows them, they start using them and controlling them by withholding affection, attention, and focus. Narcissists just focus on themselves and thus to not get sidetracked, enablers often revolve around them.
They are afraid of the narcissist
Fera is a powerful tool and thus narcissists use it to imply various tactics to instill fear in people. Narcissistic rage is also feared by many people making them weak, fearing and giving in to the narcissist’s manipulative tactics.
Unfortunately, people who have a close relationship with the narcissist often might have faced narcissistic abuse and thus the fear of being into the loop of narcissistic abuse, torture, and toxicity forces people to be their enablers.
They are blinded by the love for the narcissist
Narcissists are charmers and thus no one can escape their charm. Most of the narcissist enablers may be their exes, old acquaintances, or someone who has been love-bombed and discarded by the narcissist once. When a person is love-blinded by a person, it may prevent them from seeing the toxicity, manipulation, and negative traits of that person, and thus enablers are charmed by the narcissist.
Why Narcissistic Enablers are the Hidden Dangers in Your Social Circle?
Narcissistic enablers are people who tolerate narcissistic behavior and even support them. They validate the narcissist and their wrongdoings, negative behavior, and all unhealthy behavior patterns. They manipulate others for the benefit of the narcissist.
They are the reason why everyone might have toxic relations with each other in your social circle. They harm the dynamics of relationships and friendships. They foster codependency and break other people’s boundaries for the best interests of the narcissist. The narcissists already may be the toxic link of your group, whereas narcissistic enablers give strength to that link making the complete social circle toxic and unhealthy to be in.
They only have genuine affection, connection, and a true relationship with the narcissist, neglecting all other bonds. This can be a reason for strained friendships and relationships. They are equally toxic as the narcissists and thus interacting with them can be draining and exhausting for others in the group.
They only support everything that is supportive and encouraging for the narcissist and not everyone else. Thus they bring a negative atmosphere to the circle. They have a ruinous impact on the social circle and thus their presence can be harmful.
Important Takeaway
Narcissists often have enablers in their inner social circle who may be extremely loyal and truthful to them. They are the support systems for the narcissists who are willing to do anything for them.
They are the reason why everyone might have toxic relations with each other in your social circle. They harm the dynamics of relationships and friendships. They foster codependency and break other people’s boundaries for the best interests of the narcissist. The narcissists already may be the toxic link of your group, whereas narcissistic enablers give strength to that link making the complete social circle toxic and unhealthy to be in.
The above-mentioned signs can be helpful to you in identifying a narcissist enabler and keeping your distance from them, as they can be as toxic as the narcissist.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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