10 Abusive Brainwashing Techniques Used By The Narcissists

How are Narcissists able to lure in so many victims? It is possible because of the abusive Brainwashing Techniques used by the Narcissists. Let us know a few brainwashing techniques that are commonly disguised under the impression of care, love, or anger.

10 Abusive Brainwashing Techniques Used By The Narcissists

The victims of the narcissist’s abuse might be shocked, dismayed, and displeased to know this but they have been swayed under the false impression of the narcissist’s care, love, or bonding. Narcissists are actually brainwashing you by bonding more closely with you just to gain what they want.

Once their purpose with you is finished you might be disheartened to know the consequences, but they might leave just within a snap.

They might be onto their next target whereas you might be left clueless and suffering. Thus to avoid such a situation, let us know some brainwashing techniques and resist them with resilience.

Lying Excessively

Lying can save many situations and it is not always disadvantageous to not include the complete truth. Sometimes disclosing half-truths may help out but only when you have to, otherwise truth always wins and makes the situation better.

But with narcissists, truth loses its value as their truths are also lies. They are unable to even be truthful to themselves then how can it even be expected from them that they might be truthful to their victims?

Narcissists have a huge ego to satisfy, so they always want to prove a point by lying. The egoistic narcissist often tends to lie due to their deceiving characteristics and traits. Being pathological liars, narcissists would just resort to lying when they need to brainwash their victims. The more their victim’s convinced the more they normalize lying in the relationship.

Love Bombing

Love bombing is an act of over or exaggerated display of love which is usually considered toxic and unhealthy for a successful relationship.

In an unhealthy relationship love bombing technique is often taken into practice to cover up mistakes, to recover the lost relationships, or when anything goes wrong, or to manipulate the partner with the help of tender or cliched play of words, actions, along with pompous effective gestures.

Narcissists use this tactic effectively to brainwash their victims by flooding their victims with extreme love and affection and withholding the same just to manipulate them to establish power and control later.

You as the victim may love the narcissist wholeheartedly but the same might never be reciprocated fully by them. This is all just a part of brainwashing through love bombing.


Imagine situations where you might be doubting your perception of truth along with losing your sanity just because someone else is able to convince you so and forbidding your truths and perceptions.

This is what is called gaslighting, which is a systematic, cyclical, and psychological brainwashing phenomenon used to create an aversion to the truth and reality of the matter or situation.

How do you spot gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a completely cyclical incident. It does not just happen once, it is a repetitive abusive cycle of multiple events for which you are a victim. For instance, gaslighters use statements like,

  • “What I did was not that bad, and you also know that.”
  • “Whatever I have done, is unintended, it just happened to be so.”
  • “You are not able to understand what I am trying to convey. It is you who is misunderstanding the situation.”

Verbal Assaulting

Narcissists might resort to any means to convince their victims to do what they wish or believe what they want to make them believe. Thus narcissists might verbally abuse their victims when other ways do not work.

Narcissists often utilize rage in the form of devaluing their victim’s worth, belittling their beliefs and thoughts, name-calling them, screaming just to make a point, blaming them unreasonably, and resorting to criticism and humiliation by making sarcastic looks regarding their conduct, and appearance, though processes of their victims and much more.

When a narcissist wishes to prove a point it may also be done by magnifying their victim’s flaws and proving they are not in their right mind or devaluing them publically so that they can establish their thoughts. Thus verbal assault is the worst and most commonly used brainwashing tactic that is used by many individuals, especially narcissists.

Playing the Victim

Narcissists can or may use the Victim card or have the victim mentality if they believe that they can gain something out of the guilt-tripping. Narcissists are manipulators and they tend to manipulate people around them to gain benefit.

It is not clear though whether narcissists really feel victimized or they are just lying or pretending to be a victim to Twitch social interplays.

When a narcissist wishes to escape some unwanted situation or run away from accepting the responsibility for something that went wrong because of them, they play the victim and brainwash their victims by using their childhood abuse, or mishaps that lead them to where and who they are currently, discuss fears, insecurities and so on.


The victim of narcissistic abuse is deprived of social interactions, connections, and support as the narcissists brainwash them and isolate them.

This method benefits the narcissist in two ways, first, the victim sticks to them as they would have no one to depend upon but the narcissist, and this reduces their ability to resist the narcissist. The second benefit is that narcissists can easily achieve what they want through their victims as they might not combat or question whatever the narcissist asks them to follow up.

The narcissist might take complete control of their victim’s life in the form of controlling them, and their finances, making plans on their behalf, lying about situations, disengaging them through all social activities by making excuses, and so on.

The narcissist may also insist their victims give up certain hobbies, work, and interests that may include social activities. They may also insist their victims relocate in some cases.

Controlling the victim’s Perceptions

A narcissist may devalue their victim’s thoughts, aspects, and beliefs, proving the victim’s entire character wrong or improper thus questioning their conduct and complicating their thoughts.

The narcissist believes that this would take the victim’s focus off the matters that include the narcissist and their abusive and toxic exploits. The victim might totally be tangled in the thoughts that the narcissist may instill thus brainwashing them to back them off from and diverting them from what the narcissist is doing.

Narcissists control their victim’s perceptions by isolating them. Isolation prevents them from getting to reality and thus confining their thoughts and them.

Creating Constant Chaos

Brainwashing can also be done by constantly torturing the victim by creating chaotic situations and involving the victim creating an uncomfortable atmosphere. They might start an argument and keep on getting into conflicts with the victims.

Narcissists often choose drama and chaos over a peaceful and respectful relationship. By doing so they wish to take control of situations and the people involved in the situation. Such situations help them create the kind of drama they wish to revel in.

Riling up situations just to aggravate their victims is their power move just to get on your nerves. It is just a part of their toxic game, to get a reaction out of you as this provides them a narcissistic supply.

Enforcing Trivial Demands

Narcissists have a tendency to make uncanny, unrealistic, and unreasonable demands from their victims. And they might cause a huge commotion if those demands are left unattended and unheard.

This can be uncomfortable for their victims. Thus narcissists brainwash their victims to amiably meet their demands or they might cause trouble. They condition their victims like that, leading the victim to be compliant and adaptable to such tactics of the narcissist.


Ideally, the victim should be resorting to this tactic to avoid the narcissist and recover from the abuse. Instead the narcissist resorts to ghosting, when they need to instruct the victim regarding some matter. This is the irony when you have a narcissistic partner.

The narcissist would ghost their victim just to make them feel perplexed, provoked, anxious, and questioning their reactions. The simple goal for the narcissist here is to have attention in any form.

As soon as the narcissist commences the ghosting phase, the victim will be impatient to reconcile and have the narcissist back as quickly as possible. They might be ready to do anything just to gain the narcissist as the narcissist would have made them codependent by diminishing their self-reliance.

How not to be brainwashed by narcissists?

Brainwashing does not happen overnight. It happens in a cycle or parts and thus there is a pattern. You need to start noticing those patterns and also make a note of the brainwashing techniques.

Find out what is common among the above-listed techniques. For starters, one thing you might common among these is that your relationship with the narcissist is fueled by anxiety, fear, compliance, reliance, and so on. Narcissists use their victims like puppets controlling every action and move.

The simple understanding and important takeaway here is that your life is just balanced and near perfect when the narcissist is not present in it. What the narcissist does is first throw you off balance by emotionally manipulating and disturbing your happy life. After that, they start inflicting many negative emotions to make you codependent and then brainwash you to be compliant with them.

The only safe way to fight or resist the narcissist is by cutting them off from your life before you break down completely and your individuality diminishes to fade completely. Leaving the narcissist, blocking them, and completely discarding them from your life would be the best option here.

What should you take away?

If you are unable to leave the narcissist, you can always resist them by not responding to them. Ignore them as if you are totally unaffected by them and their abuse. That is the best way. Creating indifference is the key here.

You can beat narcissist, but not in their ways; in your ways. Do not respond; being unaffected by whatever they do is the most efficient and best way to not be brainwashed by the narcissist.

You do not need them as much as they need you. – Just remember this. You can do much better than them and you are the master of your own will. So be free, smell the freedom, and pave your way out of the toxicity.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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