What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out? (Their Reaction)

by Ella Carrillo · August 9, 2023

What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out? What happens when a Narcissist is Exposed? How would narcissists behave when they know that you know about their real personalities? Give a rest to your inquisitiveness and please proceed further to read the consequences and reactions of a narcissist when you figure them out eventually.

Narcissists are so demanding, and it is very stressful to be around them. When you are new to the world of dating a narcissist or being committed to them, you are merely adjusting or struggling to find yourself comfortable around them. As in the initial stages, you do not know why a person behaves so or if such behavior is normal. It becomes strenuous to continue the relationship in such a manner, as narcissists are so difficult to handle.

So you start digging in the dirt and start to find solutions, find reasons for their uncommon behavior, the reasons for their toxic personality and traits, and much more. It is only in the later stages of being with them you realize that they have created a false facade for their personality which is keeping their real toxic personality intact.

When you know the ugly truth about the narcissist and their narcissistic personality disorder, the first step you want to do is confront them, break the relationship with them, stop falling victim to their mind games, tell others about their nasty reality, and make them repent for their irreversible deeds. But would exposing the true form of a narcissist would change anything? Would it be of any benefit to you if you know the truth about them and tried to make your way to make them accept their bad deeds? What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out?

Though there is no need to be afraid of the narcissist here, as most narcissists just seem that they might create a living hell for you, in reality, they would be scared to hell about them being exposed and have many insecurities which would make them even more afraid than you are of them.

But this also does not mean you are safe, they might not be physically violent but they can be vicious in taking an act of revenge which may help them to regain their control, their rage might just be enough to put you in a state of trauma, and there is no escaping soon without facing the wrath of the narcissist.

The victims of narcissistic abuse need to act as quickly as possible in such situations when you know more than you need to know about the narcissists. Narcissists would not accept their defeat and might seek revenge on you for this matter, thus escaping the narcissist’s grip might feel like escaping a vicious and toxic war-like situation.

What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out? (Their Reaction)

This is probably the first question that pops into a person’s mind when they figure out that they are dating or dealing with a narcissist somehow in any form of relationship. This question is most of the times asked out of fear as it may concern you when your partner is suffering from a personality disorder.

You might wish to still work out the relationship if the relationship is not at that stage of abuse and there might still be some hope for changes. But remember one thing that narcissists might not change entirely or may change but temporarily.

They will use trauma bonding to tackle you

Narcissists may try to recollect all the memories from the past lay them on to you, and try to create a trauma bond with you immediately when you figure them out. This is their combat trick to remind you of the beautiful memories that you had together and also to keep you hooked on the relationship.

Trauma bonding is a type of emotional bond that the narcissist forms in the form of emotional attachment, that may develop from repetitive traumatic and manipulative behavioral experiences. So when they do this, they are just manipulating you into believing one of their lies of changing and being better and also leading you to believe in their fake apologies. They trick you into reminiscing the good old days which would lead you to forgive them.

They will try to Gaslight You

The most expected and go-to defense mechanism for narcissists is gaslighting their victims into believing what they want them to believe. So when you figure out a narcissist, their first reaction or action would be gaslighting as a part of their defense.

Narcissists can change the reality of the situation and they are capable to prove themselves innocent when you blame them for their wrongdoing. Thus gaslighting is a technique that can allow an abuser to create such an atmosphere where the victims question their own reality and it forces the victims to doubt their own sanity.

For instance, they would just twist the reality of the situation. They would be abusive and irrational but would never accept it rather than keep denying such facts. When you confront them, they would be like “Stop acting all paranoid”, “Give a rest to your wild thoughts” or “You sound crazy”. When in reality you would not be wrong but instead they would prove that the problem is with you and not them.

They will play the victim card

Playing the victim is a situation when an individual acts innocent even though they are the ones at fault just to gain sympathy, aid, and attention from other people. It is a manipulative tactic usually applied by abusers, especially narcissists to pin on others for what they have been doing. They portray themselves as this innocent being, who is totally unaware of their wrongdoings and wishes to seek justice, sympathy, and help from others.

So when a narcissist knows that you have figured them out, the Narcissists would use the Victim card or have the victim mentality if they believe that they can get out of the situation by guilt-tripping you.

The tendency of self-obsession and self-absorption along with a boosted sense of self-superiority may leave a narcissist to observe the situation of absorbing the blame as something improper or targeting, thus they may decide to play the victim card.

They will try to level up your mistakes

Integrity is the key card, that a narcissist might use when they know that you have figured them out. They would simply not provide any justifications but just one integrity card. They would blame you for putting them in such situations where they had to act the way they did.

They would justify their manipulation and abuse as a response to your past mistakes and behavior with them. This way they would justify all their mistakes even dragging you into the picture, by calculating your mistake san making you realize that you are the same as them, and your blame is just baseless as you both sail in the same boat.

They will try to manipulate you with projections

Projection means a justification of one’s action by accusing or pointing fingers at others. It is a reaction or a repulse action that is an outcome of one’s guilt, wrongdoing, or something that one is not proud of in particular or is not ready to accept or reflect on self. This makes it easy to deal with a difficult situation, without much remorse.

Narcissistic projections are like their hidden superpower according to them. They use it out of nowhere and leave you perplexed. They use these projections as a defense mechanism when they feel they would be exposed or their grandiose image is being questioned or tarnished.

When something you said triggers a narcissist or points out their wrongdoing; they cannot take this in any circumstances. Remember that they do not take criticism well. They would be all hyped up and agitated to provide a counter-argument that satisfies their ego and proves that they are right and have been wrongly pointed at. So until they transfer all blame on you they would not stop their narcissistic projections. You can be the victim of narcissistic projections on multiple instances wherever you try to prove a narcissist wrong or challenge their toxic personality.

They would try to Blackmail you

Threatening is one of the tactics that resort to when all their tricks seem to fail. So when they believe that you have figured them out or are going to expose their toxic side to the world, they would threaten to reveal your secrets, your shortcomings, your guilty pleasures, or anything that might hurt you and tarnish your reputation.

Their blackmailing does not stop here, they would even go to extreme limits, like withholding all your money, making your children inaccessible to you, expose your dirty secrets in the form of intimate pictures. They would blackmail you with whatever they can dig at that moment. They might even threaten you by intimidating you to cut you off from any joint accounts, joint properties, or investment plans that you made for the future.

They could even discard you

When you have figured out a narcissist’s true and toxic personality, it is during that time they would decide to discard you. The Discard phase is the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like a pawn, and when they no longer need you or find a reason like you figuring them out, they would just discard you like something unimportant. They just end things abruptly without any established reasons.

They might start to love bomb you

Love Bombing is a love attack on a particular target victim. It is an act of extreme display of love. It is an exaggerated display of love which is usually considered toxic and unhealthy for a successful relationship. In an unhealthy relationship love bombing technique is often taken into practice to cover up mistakes, to recover the lost relationships, or when anything goes wrong, or to manipulate the partner with the help of lovey-dovey or cheezy words, actions, and loud effective gestures.

The main goal of love bombing here is to gain your trust in them and make you believe that they are actually regretting their abusive behavior by showering you with affection. But do not get lured here, this is all a show and it would just last until you give in. They would remain the same as narcissists do not change that easily. They just want you to keep in the toxic loop for as long as they could.

They would launch a smear campaign against you

The Narcissist’s Smear Campaign is when the narcissist presents someone as bad and lies to others about what that someone has been doing to them. Narcissists can lie bluntly to save themselves and their image and destroy someone else’s image just to save their own image.

Narcissists smear your image when they can no longer control you or your views about them, in this case, the thought of you figuring them out disturbs them so much that they just smear your reputation before you spoil theirs so that others do not believe your side of the story.

A narcissist would not hesitate even once to spread rumors about you and would tell all sorts of stories and lies to turn people around you against you. They would wish all people just cut ties with you and then you have to rely on them. They would not allow people to know your side of the story.

Narcissists would try to save their own selves by acting the victim and hiding their real toxic selves they project all the bad that they have done with you onto you and tag you as the bad person here claiming all the bad or the wrongdoings under your name.

They might continue with the narcissistic abuse

When narcissists know that you have figured them out, they would try to isolate you, and give you more pain and trauma so that you have to depend on them. This way they would ensure that you are unable to survive without them.

Narcissistic abuse includes mental, emotional, or even physical abuse in some cases. Narcissistic abuse includes distorting the reality of the situation, manipulating you into believing what they want you to believe, isolating you from friends, family, or acquaintances, giving silent treatment, and much more.

They would try to recommence the relationship

They would tell you to reconsider everything and try to make you sentimental. They would not ask for forgiveness but also not allow you to move out of the relationship. They would ask you to forget everything about their narcissistic personality disorder, or just slide it aside, and recommence the relationship on new grounds.

They might even make it as a joke about them having some problem and also sarcastically make a point that the problem might be with you. They might also ask you to leave the past behind and ask you to forget about the toxic treatment and try the relationship on a fresh basis with them as they would not want to lose their source of supply.

You might face their rage

When you have figured out the narcissist, they would try to control the situation with rage as their basic defense mechanism is rage, humiliation, and insult. Rage is an outburst of anger. It is a common outcome of emotions or an emotional response for someone with a narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is a reaction or response to a Narcissistic Injury.

Narcissistic injury is a term that is used when a narcissist’s self-worth or self-esteem is hurt. It is an emotional injury. Narcissistic injury can be the cause of narcissistic rage. Narcissistic Injury also known as “narcissistic wound” is an occurrence or an outcome when a narcissist faces loss, criticism, a feeling of abandonment, or loneliness.

Sometimes a narcissist just shuts down their emotional side and just switches to an apathetic or emotionless individual who chooses violence, anger, and such negative emotions to let their internal conflict out. This internal conflict can happen when a narcissist is upset with something or hurt due to someone, in this case, you figuring them out.

Important Takeaway

What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out? – This is probably the first question that pops into a person’s mind when they figure out that they are dating or dealing with a narcissist somehow in any form of relationship. This question is most of the times asked out of fear as it may concern you when your partner is suffering from a personality disorder.

You might start looking out for yourself and your safety. But if you are severely facing narcissistic abuse, then you might choose to cut complete ties with them.

If you have to deal with a narcissist in your life without much choice, you might be knowing how difficult it is. You might not be aware of them being narcissists initially, but you or the family might suffer continuously because of them. So if you have a narcissist in your life, choose wisely before taking any steps further in the relationship, and do notice all the red flags because they are there all along the way.

Ultimately all that matters is your happiness, your priorities, and your well-being, so choose accordingly and wisely.

Author
Recent Posts

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out? (Their Reaction)

What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You Figured Them Out? (Their Reaction)