Do Narcissists accuse people of playing the Victim? In many instances, when you’re dealing with a narcissist you might have heard them saying “Do not play the victim here, it is you because of you, that I am stuck with this problem.” Whereas in reality, they would be gaslighting you and simply blaming you for the inconvenience caused in their life or due to any problem in their life. They would simply cascade the blame on you by gaslighting you.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist requires a lot of patience, tolerance, and empathy. Being with a narcissist is challenging on many levels and there are many reasons why dealing with a narcissist is so difficult. Narcissists have a tendency to manipulate everyone associated with them and thus it becomes tedious o deal with them. One such manipulation tactic is playing the victim even if they are at major fault; and if that does workout out, then accusing you for playing the victim is their withdrawal technique to save themselves from the blame.
A narcissist will always have someone they accuse of ruining their life. It is invariably the same person the narcissist is trying to destroy.-Narc Quotes
Do Narcissists Accuse People of Playing the Victim?
Many a time the narcissist would blame you for what they are doing. This means they would blame you for their toxic behavior. Sometimes they would accuse you of playing the victim and many more things just to figure out your thoughts about them and the relationship. They would pin all the blame on you for whatever they have done wrong and also would blame you for behaving so. This is called gaslighting. It might really be their fault and you would definitely be the victim here, but instead, they would accuse you of the fault and also about playing the victim just to save their own troubled selves.
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a pattern of abuse or manipulation used by manipulators, abusers, cult leaders, narcissists, or people who wish to always have control over situations and their victims. Gaslighters can change the reality of the situation and they are capable to prove themselves innocent when you blame them for their wrongdoing. Thus gaslighting is a technique that can allow an abuser to create such an atmosphere where the victims question their own reality and it forces the victims to doubt their own sanity.
For instance, they would just twist the reality of the situation. Narcissists would be abusive and irrational but would never accept it rather than keep denying such facts. When you point at their mistakes they would tell you things like, “Stop acting all paranoid”, “Don’t overreact to little things”, or “You sound crazy”. When in reality you would not be wrong but instead they would prove that the problem is with you and not them.
Why do narcissists use Gaslighting?
- Narcissists gaslight in order to have a sense of control by making others dependent on them.
- Some narcissists use gaslighting, out of their natural habit, as they might have had a traumatic childhood because of abusive parents who might also have used the same gaslighting technique with them. Thus they also learn and implement the same with others.
- Narcissists use Gaslighting to establish authority.
- Some narcissists use gaslighting to boost their ego by proving others wrong even if they are not, or to escape some unwanted situation too.
- When a narcissist is blamed for some wrongdoing, then also they use gaslighting to distort the reality of the situation and shift the blame by projecting it towards you.
Narcissists would blame you for what they are doing which is called Projection. They would project such projections of thoughts and actions on you which they are actually thinking and planning. And when they are about to be exposed, this is when they act all innocent, try to play the victim here, and would also blame you for many things. Through projections, narcissists reveal themselves, their original and toxic thoughts, and also what they are planning to do.
Why do Narcissists accuse People of Playing the Victim?
According to a narcissist, they are always innocent and never tend to take responsibility for their fault. It is always someone else’s fault. Thus they always choose to play the innocent card or the victim card. They would always accuse others. So when others try to defend themselves as they are faultless and it is the narcissist who is at fault, the narcissist would simply flip out and accuse you of playing the victim to save themselves from the defamation to save their toxic self from being exposed. So let us why do narcissists accuse other people of playing the victim,
The narcissist would blame you for the trait that they possess, just to make you feel guilty and prove themselves innocent.
For proving their worth and establishing themselves as a better innocent person than the person they are accusing.
It is because of their toxic behavior and traits, that they make you take the guilt trip all by yourself, blame you for everything, and swipe the role of playing victim from them to you.
Two reasons why someone will not trust another.
They have either been decieved by people they once truted.
Or they’re the ones who can’t be trusted.
All Narcissists project. Whatever they’re accusing you of 99% of the time it’s a confession.
Pay close attention, trust your intuition.– Pinterest, (anonymous)
When would Narcissists accuse People of Playing the Victim?
When people are trying to express their emotions, feelings, your true self so that they can gain attention back at themselves again and they would start playing the victim. They would state that because you are being dramatic, over-sentimental, and irrational; it is them(the narcissist) who has to deal with the drama.
When people state or point out the narcissist for doing something wrong or creating a problem, then at such times or situations to distract everyone and disregard the blame, they would state that the other person(who is not at the fault and who is in trouble because of the narcissist) is simply playing the victim to gain sympathy and distract everyone from the problem; whereas in reality, it is the narcissist who is actually doing so(playing the victim).
When people are frustrated because of the toxicity and manipulation that they suffer through narcissists, and when they try to confront the narcissist; then during such times, narcissists would act vigorously and lash at people to save their selves from being exposed and blame other people for being unrealistic about them. They would blame people for playing the victim and creating a scene, whereas in reality, they are just saving themselves from being exposed and from the confrontation.
Narcissists perceive criticism in almost every sentence that anyone tells them about them. They view criticism in almost everything and everywhere. Even when someone provides constructive criticism to a narcissist, they tend to take that as criticism and accusation. So when people tell a narcissist something they think it is a verbal attack on them. So in response, they act with rage with some unexpected emotions and accusations. One such accusation is “You(The people) playing the victim”.
Narcissists have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, crave admiration and attention. The world is reflected in their image. Narcissists are unlikeable, flagrant egoists. Others can be charming, intelligent, caring-that is, until their guru-status is threatened. When you stop stroking their ego or beg to disagree, they can turn on you and become punishing.-Judith Orloff
When a narcissist completely uses you and when you(someone with whom they are dealing/other people) are no longer available for them or become emotionally unavailable to them, emotionally drained, and have no longer supply left; so this is the time when you complain to the narcissist for not giving enough time or attention, they would directly blame you for playing the victim and would directly oppose your complaint by saying that they are busy and that you(someone with whom they are dealing/other people) have become demanding. This is how they would hide their lack of interest and highlight your complaint by tagging you as someone demanding. This is how they play the game of blame shift.
What is Blame shifting?
When one person in a relationship(your partner) does something that might upset you. But instead of feeling apologetic they would play the victim card and present you as the bad person for getting upset about their hard work. They would blame you for not appreciating their efforts, instead, they would victimize themselves by saying, “Doing something for you is totally a waste, because you do not know how to appreciate it!”.
Thus they try to nullify your feelings over their efforts. So the problem that they might have created for you no longer stays as a problem by their side, it becomes a shift toward you and you become the bad person here for saying out loud about your feelings and getting upset. This phenomenon that happens between two people is termed Blame shifting.
Blame shifting is an emotional and manipulative behavior tactic that is used by abusers, especially people who suffer from personality disorders, such as narcissism. When the abuser has difficulty acknowledging the problem that they have created and instead of taking responsibility or blame for what they have done wrong, they be accusing the other people around them of having a negative perspective about their efforts, about them, or overall.
This blame shifting may come across as delusional or as a conspiracy theory because the abuser here, is unable to feel empathy or remorse for their wrong doing and instead they play the victim here and claim the other person to be the villain or someone with a negative perspective or influence.
Do Narcissists love accusing others of playing the victim?
Manipulation tactics are always there in a narcissist’s bag. To never let their guard down, narcissists often tend to manipulate your thoughts and deceive you with lies. This is their natural behavior thus this becomes their natural habit while they are usually dealing with other people. A narcissist always feels the need to dominate the situation, try to be the elephant in the room, or try to cover up the truth by all means and all the time.
A narcissist may come across as someone who is competitive, jealous, gaslighting, always targeting their competition, always being the center of attraction, always getting what they want, always having their ways work, always being the innocent victim who is often accused by others, always projecting their toxic traits on others to save their fake facades, always claiming someone else that they are dealing with the wrongdoer and much more. So keeping all these traits in mind while concluding, one can say that the narcissist definitely loves accusing others of playing the victim.
Labeling your emotions or your traits on others and accusing them of the same just because you are guilty of something is termed projection. Narcissists often protrude their personal intimidating, toxic, unwanted, or unaccepted thoughts and emotions on someone else rather than realizing them as your lack. Rather than just acknowledging their insufficiency to admit they point it out to others. Projecting is not showing their cowardice but rather just pointing fingers at others for your lack, incompetence, and mistakes.
And in this process, the narcissist blames other people(who are usually innocent) who are associated with them in the process for hiding their real toxic selves. They claim them to be playing the victim card whereas, in reality, they are the ones who would be doing so.
A narcissist may come across as someone who is competitive, jealous, manipulative, always targeting their competition, always being the center of attraction, always getting what they want, always having their ways work, always being the innocent victim who is often accused by others, always projecting their toxic traits on others to save their fake facades, always claiming someone else that they are dealing with the wrongdoer and much more. So keeping all these traits in mind while concluding, one can say that the narcissist definitely loves accusing others of playing the victim.
And Narcissists do this to save themselves from getting defamed and saving their toxic selves from being exposed.