What is a Narcissistic Projection? (With Some Examples)

by Ella Carrillo · November 23, 2022

What is a Narcissistic Projection? What is projection? First, let us understand the meaning of projection in psychology. Scientifically projection means a presentation of thoughts. Now when we connect it with psychology, the meaning remains the same, projection of one’s thoughts but using references.

What others say and do is a Projection of their own reality.
– Miguel Angel Ruiz

Let us understand this with an example. A partner is cheating upon their mate and is always surrounded by insecurities about being caught. So when the mate even discusses some third person, the cheating partner would blame the mate that they have such thoughts and want to cheat on them. When in reality they are already cheating. So let us understand Narcissist projection in detail with some examples.

What is a projection in terms of psychology?

Projection as referred to in psychological terms is, presenting one’s thoughts by referring to others or accrediting others.

Labeling your emotions or your traits on others and accusing them of the same just because you are guilty of something is termed projection concerning psychology.

A Man’s attire is only an outward Projection of his own inward self…
-Chris Brown

Psychological projections or projections referred to in terms of psychology mean protruding your personal intimidating, toxic, unwanted, or unaccepted thoughts and emotions on someone else rather than realizing them as your lack. Rather than just acknowledging your insufficiency to admit you point it out in others. Projecting is not showing your cowardice but rather just pointing fingers at others for your lack, incompetence, and mistakes.

To understand Narcissistic Projection and find answers to the question, “What is a Narcissistic Projection?”, first let us understand narcissists and the psychological condition of NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

What is an NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?

To understand NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) in simple forms, let us put it in simple words. NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is nothing but portraying toxic traits in an intensified state than others.

This simply means that every human possesses these traits of ego, admiration, self-worth, self-praise, control over situations in life as much as possible, expecting attention from others, some troubles in relationships, rudeness, selfishness, lack of self-reflection, and all such traits that make us human. It is just that people who possess these in more amounts due to certain situations in life, brought up, parental pressure, and many more reasons are declared as narcissists and in psychological terms, such people suffer from NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

Narcissists possess some traits that make them a little hard to deal with. Some peculiar narcissistic traits include,

Lack of sensitivity and empathy.
Are self-centric.
Blame others for your mistakes.
Have unhealthy relations.
Arrogance and anger is your first reaction to any problems.
Hate changes and also cannot take them well.
Are emotionally unstable and unavailable.
Takes advantage of others easily.
Are abusive.
Lack of self-awareness and self-reflection.
Always expect more from others.

Narcissists always want their ways to work out and project certain behavior onto others. That projection often includes their thoughts and thinking patterns. Their projection usually includes anger, guilt, blame, hatred, and unhealthy thoughts.

We live in a society that is always expecting something more and better every day from us, expects to be on our best behavior all the time, fulfill everyone’s wishes and be true to what others expect from us. So this constant pressure and lack of freedom in society force out negative traits of humans or be less positive day by day. Thus we are only making people this way. So unless society is more liberal in terms of thoughts and freedom, people with such psychological disorders would emerge in larger amounts making it a more complicated world for living and revival.

What is a Narcissistic Projection?

Projection means a justification of one’s action by accusing or pointing fingers at others. It is a reaction or a repulse action that is an outcome of one’s guilt, wrongdoing, or something that one is not proud of in particular or is not ready to accept or reflect on self. This makes it easy to deal with a difficult situation, without much remorse.

Narcissistic Projection is nothing but the same. The only variance is that narcissists use these projections more often, which does not even allow them to reflect on the wrongdoing. The structure of projections gets more and more intense with time. This phenomenon is commonly and frequently observed among narcissists and so popularized.

Narcissists reveal themselves by projecting their bad qualities onto you. They accuse you of the very things they are guilty of. They may even turn everything around and accuse you of being the narcissist. Narcissists can not handle the reality of who they are so they project it on to the people around them. They hate that part of themselves so the best way to get rid of the characteristics they despise is to say it is the other person who is actually engaging in those bad behaviors.
– Maria Consiglio

Why are narcissistic projections so intense? How are narcissistic projections different?

Usually, projections are an outcome of self-guilt and deprived self-reflection. A narcissistic person lacks both. Narcissists never feel guilt or do not have any concepts of self-reflection. Narcissists do not want their grandiose image to be tarnished by their wrongdoings. So they be blaming or point fingers at others. This is the reason narcissistic projections are more common, frequent, and intense.

Narcissists have low self-esteem and the lowest capacity to acknowledge insecurities. They often fail in addressing their insecurities and wrongdoings as that can be challenging their shiny image. In fact, there are no wrongdoings in their dictionary because whatever they do is right according to them. P.S. – They can never be wrong. So they project these onto others. Thus narcissist projections are intense and confusing.

Narcissistic projections are like their hidden superpower according to them. They use it out of nowhere and leave you perplexed. They use these projections as a defense mechanism when they feel they would be exposed or their grandiose image is being questioned or tarnished.

A Narcisist will blame you for so many things that you never said, did, or even thought, and do so with such conviction that you end up questioning every aspect of your identity.
– Annie Kaszina

Just imagine a scenario, where you are having a normal conversation with your narcissistic partner about your mutual friends cheating on their partners, and out of nowhere you get a question like, “Are you also thinking or doing something similar to this situation?” or something like “Do you also plan to cheat on me?”. Something like this accuses you. Whereas in reality, they would be thinking about cheating on you or would already be having multiple partners.

When something you said triggers a narcissist or points out their wrongdoing; they cannot take this in any circumstances. Remember that they do not take criticism well. They would be all hyped up and agitated to provide a counter-argument that satisfies their ego and proves that they are right and have been wrongly pointed at. So until they transfer all blame on you they would not stop their narcissistic projections. You can be the victim of narcissistic projections on multiple instances wherever you try to prove a narcissist wrong or challenge their judgment.

Narcissistic Projection Examples

One most common narcissistic projection is – You can be blamed for being a narcissist in your relationship. This is one of the biggest and most commonly used phrases by a narcissistic partner, “Dont be a narcissist!”, whereas, in reality, they are the one who is suffering from NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

One more narcissist projection can be – “You don’t love me anymore”. Narcissists can accuse you of not loving them after a certain time as they would be the one who has run out of their so-called love, which is just their way to get their supply. They would be running out of love but pointing fingers at you.

“Say it clearly if you want to break up”. This is also a frequently used narcissistic projection that they use in minor difficulties with you. They would be the ones who would want to break up but would point it out on you.

They would freak even when you mention something about cheating on partners or would blame you by asking such questions, “Are you also thinking or doing something similar?” or something like “Do you also plan to cheat on me?”. Whereas in reality, they would be thinking about cheating on you or would already be having multiple partners, but just would not be admitting or would also not want to relieve of this toxic relationship, as they would not want to lose their control.

You would be their backup option in case they run out of opportunities for obtaining their supply. (Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior).

Not just these, there are various other forms of Narcissistic Projection which are mentioned below. Let us know by reading further,

Exaggerating situations and making this look like something which is not
Sabotaging the situation
Labeling you with the tags that you are not
Becoming the victim
The no criticism and accusing

Let us understand these points in detail,

1. Exaggerating situations and making this look like something which is not

The sense of deservingness makes it difficult for a narcissist to spill the truth or even go anywhere near the truth. Fakes and lies make them look more promising and greater than others. They feel they deserve everything special, and nothing less. So when you try to tell the reality or the truth they would lash out at you and try to change the situation by making a false image of you in front of everyone.

When a narcissist is proven wrong by someone, and when someone tries to tell them the truth, instead of facing the reality they often tell more and more lies to cover up their mistake. They do not want their shiny clean image to be tarnished by certain situations. So instead they would project all their anger onto you instead of accepting the wrong.
Narcissists have specific thinking patterns which make them incapable to see the truth and thus they be dependent on lies, which they project onto others too.

2. Sabotaging the situation

When you bring the truth before the narcissist they would change the topic or just show you a mirror of words or the projection of their thoughts on you which will make you believe that they are the victim of your blames. They can completely sabotage and change such situations. For instance,

When you try to tell them that the bond between you is deteriorating and they are not spending time with you. Instead of listening to you, they would tell you “You are busy and not them”, “You don’t have time for them but they are available”. In the reality, it would be them who would be avoiding all emotional attachments with you so avoiding spending time with you.

3. Labeling you with the tags that you are not

When you point out a narcissist’s mistake, instead of accepting the truth of the situation, they reverse the situation and lash out at you. They might crack mean jokes, might project their ill notions on you, or might even spread rumors about you. A Narcissist can be as direct as possible, they even might point fingers at you and might also call you names.

Humiliating you at the cost of your mental peace and embarrassing you by putting tags on you and calling things that you are not. You can never really know a Narcissist’s thinking pattern, projections, and tactics so do not take these tags on your mind and affect your mental health as this can disturb your mental peace.

4. Becoming the victim

Playing the victim card is the ultimate tactic and projection used by a narcissist. When something you said triggers a narcissist or points out their wrongdoing; they cannot take this in any circumstances. Remember that they do not take criticism well. They would be all hyped up and agitated to provide a counter-argument that satisfies their ego and proves that they are right and have been wrongly pointed at and thus they would be playing the victim of your accusations acting all innocent.

So until they transfer all blame on you they would not stop their narcissistic projections or simply act like the victim and exaggerate the situation. You can be the victim of narcissistic projections on multiple instances wherever you try to prove a narcissist wrong or challenge their judgment.

5. The no criticism and accusing

A narcissist always feels the need to dominate the relationship. They cannot take criticism and would try to reciprocate the same. When a narcissist feels the need to dominate the situation or try to impress or prove their worth, this is when they resort to all sorts of tactics without considering any other fact. Accusing you and projecting all lies and blames.

Is it possible to deal with Narcissistic Projections?

The answer is affirmative! You can deal with narcissistic projections. Let us know how

Believe in yourself and not in the accusations that narcissists project on you.
Initially, a Narcissist might seem winning for some time, but eventually, you can gain faith in yourself.
Do not overthink the projections, simply divert your mind to something else.
A Narcissist would always test your patience and probably trigger you until you freak out. Thus they would blame you for certain situations that they have created when they lose control over you and project anger, hatred, and blame toward you.

Take away

Narcissistic Projections mean a justification of a narcissist’s action by accusing or pointing fingers at others. It is a reaction or a repulse action that is an outcome of one’s guilt, wrongdoing, or something that they are not proud of in particular or is not ready to accept or reflect on self. This makes it easy to deal with a difficult situation, without much remorse. So do not be bothered by such accusations and secure your mental peace.

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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.