How Long Can A Narcissist Fake It? How long does a narcissist take to reveal their true personality? If you are assuming someone to be a narcissistic individual, and wondering how long it will take for them to reveal themselves, then you might want to give up that thought, as narcissists do not reveal themselves on their own, you might have to make more efforts, notice the signs and red flags that they continuously display and take those as your answer.
Also, it is not completely true and necessary that narcissists would not reveal their true selves, as they might continuously display so many signs. It is just you need to be alert and attentive when you are dealing with a narcissist. Also, you may also choose to help you notice the signs.
Pretending to be nice is the art that narcissists have mastered. They can fake anything and can lure you just with their charm. Fakeness is the root characteristic of narcissism. Narcissists can fake their goodness, empathy, and sympathy, and maintain their image of being caring and understanding just by using fake emotions. They can manipulate you and control you.
When narcissists pretend to be nice, they often have an ulterior motive behind it. They may be trying to get something from you, trying to lure you into something, or simply wish to make you indebted to them. As soon as their purpose with you is complete, they might show their truly abusive and manipulative side that may start with small debates, then bigger arguments that may end up in insults and devaluation. Ultimately this may also lead to them discarding you.
This is called their cycle of abuse, which you might have faced if you have been in a relationship with the narcissist.
What is the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse? How to free yourself from the cycle of abuse? Narcissists are manipulative beings who constantly abuse and manipulate people around them to seek personal benefits. They are often termed mean and selfish.
Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is totally selfish and mean.
Once the narcissist feels that they no longer need you, or you have served their purpose, and there is no longer supply left in you, that is when the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse begins. Once a narcissist feels there is no longer availability of the “narcissistic supply” (Supply here refers to giving them attention, praising their accomplishments, providing a sense of entitlement and validation whether it is positive or negative, providing special treatment due to their sense of entitlement, and meeting their needs and demands) they leave you without any signs or even a warning.
What are the motivations for a narcissist to pretend to be nice?
The first motivation is that Narcissists are super greedy and they cannot cut ties easily with anyone, especially with their exes, so they would keep coming back until you realize the toxicity and deny them with strong actions. They are self-absorbed and have an intense desire for attention and admiration. They are very sensitive to criticism, and thus their egos do not allow them to reflect on what is normal behavior and what is abusive behavior. It does not matter to a narcissist how many times they dump you and come back to you because they do not have any intimate bond with any of their dating partners.
The second motivation is that Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire. Hypocrisy is their go-to trait. Selfishness is in their true nature, and they would do anything to seek benefit from you. They ought to lure multiple partners and manipulate them for what they want to get.
The third motivation is that Narcissists are unable to take criticism, thus they pretend to be nice, thus being nice allows them to deflect criticism. They believe that if they pretend to be nice and socially adapt they can maintain their grandiose image and fragile ego thus hiding their insecurities and copiousness.
The fourth motivation guides us to the fact that Narcissists feel that fakeness provides them with sufficiency and also a feel-good feeling about themselves. They always seek validation from others, and thus fakeness influences and reinforces the sense of self-importance and this allows them to feel jaunty.
The last and final motivation for a narcissist to pretend to be nicer is that they always need to have superiority and thus they believe that if they can fake it they can make it and gain the upper hand in the situation.
Thus these motivations are enough to know that narcissists can fool anyone with their flattery.
How long does the average narcissist’s facade last? – How Long Can A Narcissist Fake It?
The fake facade of being nice, understanding, and pleasant for the desire to be acceptable socially among their peers, families, and acquaintances. Thus the period of maintaining their fake facade can last from anywhere between a few months to a lifetime of fakeness.
This also depends on how long the narcissist is good at pretending and their desire to feel accepted by everyone. Narcissists, in general, are very good at concealing their true game unless anyone is able to install cracks in their grand plan of maintaining their grandiosity.
A narcissist’s facade is a mask of perfection that they put on in order to avoid rejection, being hurt and mainly criticism. But nobody can fake it entirely as eventually cracks would develop in their fake facade.
There are various reasons why a narcissist’s perfect image starts shattering into crumbs, and they are constantly trying to figure out ways to hide their falseness. Their efforts and constant worry may cause them to be anxious all the time and thus this can create a phase of anxiety that eventually leads them to fall short at some point thus creating cracks that may penetrate their facade breaching the shield of the fakeness that is guarding their toxic personality.
The best way to cope with a narcissist in this situation is to trade the urge to confront them with patience. You have to be patient until you find a loophole in their perfectly managed fake life. A lot of patience can serve you right and you may get the fruit not instantly but eventually after self-restraint.
How well do Narcissists fake being nice?
Narcissists have a reputation for being the most difficult people you may ever come across. Their real identities are perfectly concealed with their charming and deceiving personalities.
One important point to note here is a narcissists can be most fake when they want something from you and least nice when it is convenient to them. They are self-absorbed thus they would only be nice when being nice is somehow going to benefit them.
For instance, they can be really nice in the idealization phase of the relationship, when they are willing to lure their target into the relationship for seeking narcissistic supply. They can be the best versions of themselves in the initial stages of dating. But as the relationship progresses, they might show their toxicity in one or the other form when they can no longer seek benefit from you. Thus their fakeness is circumstantial and also conceiting.
What are the consequences of a narcissist pretending to be nice?
Narcissists are delusional and they are experts at deceiving others by their charming, charismatic convincing personalities. Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them.
Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is totally selfish and mean.
The consequences of a narcissist pretending to be good can affect their partners who are entangled with them in a toxic relationship. The victims may find themselves in such a relationship where they are exploited, manipulated, and abused without their awareness. Narcissists may just crash down their self-worth, self-respect, and identities so that they are unable to find the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship. The narcissist may always seem correct and the victims may go deep down into the lane of devaluation, discard, and isolation. This is all on a personal level.
When it comes to a social level as a whole, narcissists just create a void by manipulating others and deceiving their own selves. They create such a toxic atmosphere for others too, where they abuse powerful positions, negatively influence people, and take undue advantage of others. Narcissistic leaders might create a society that is based on shallow promises and fake conduct.
All in all, narcissists can be extremely harmful and dangerous when they are pretending to be nice with an ulterior motive in mind. Know the potential dangers that might come along with the fake mask of a narcissistic individual. You can know more about narcissism by acknowledging yourself regarding the same with the help of books, articles, studies, and research provided by mental health experts and psychologists.
What are the signs that a narcissist is faking being nice?
Some signs or red flags that you must acknowledge while dealing with a narcissist are,
Narcissists act extra nice when they want something from you. So when you notice that the narcissist is being super nicer than their usual selves, take it as a sign and do not fall into their trap as it may be just temporary until their work is done. Once their work is done, they go back to being their usual arrogant, unbothered, and toxic selves.
Manipulation and Narcissism go hand in hand. They would play with your emotions, love bomb you, make false promises, create shallow yet promising realities that are indeed temporary, and try to convince you. They might even gaslight you by making you feel guilty.
Narcissists would make all things about themselves as they are attention seekers. They would never appreciate you but would make you act in such a way that their achievements and victories are more valuable than yours.
One major red flag is when their actions do not match their words. This is a clear sign of the insincerity.
Narcissists are jealous of your happiness, achievements, and success in life even though they are closely related to you. They would pretend to be happy, but in reality, they would be extremely jealous of your achievements and some might even plan to devalue your achievements publically, all out of jealousy.
What should you do if you suspect a narcissist is being nice to you?
If you suspect the narcissist being extra nice to you,
The first step is to look out for the signs that may indeed be red flags but may not be visible to you clearly. Just clear your mind and try to spot them in a different spotlight.
Next comes the step where you check how supportive, caring, and understanding they are actually. You can check this when you face some kind of hardship. If they are truly interested in making a healthy relationship their behavior may not spike, but if they are faking to be nice then you know the consequences already.
Sometimes a narcissist might hear you out but would not act and just ignore your point when you confront them about their toxic behavior. So if they do so, you know what to do, just see all the red flags and leave the toxic relationship.
But if the narcissist shows any changes, then you might want to give them a chance considering their state of mind.
How to make yourself free from Narcissistic manipulation and trauma?
By the time you realize that you had a troublesome and traumatic relationship due to a narcissistic partner, you will be able to understand the below-provided points.
- Learning about your truths and conducts, while keeping aside all the falses that you have created, and acknowledging them can be the initial step.
- Look after your physical health with the help of exercises, yoga, meditation, and any form of physical workout.
- Look after your mental health with the help of meditation, reading good books, seeking help from your loved ones, listening to music, and doing more things that keep your interest at its peak.
- Consult a mental health expert, a therapist, or anyone who can guide you for that matter.
- Try connecting more with nature by hiking, swimming, jogging in the fresh air, and any possible means that can get you closure to nature.
- Give appropriate time to yourself to heal internally; do not force healing upon yourself.
- Find things that keep you away from negative thoughts, negative people, and a negative atmosphere.
- Learning new skills, meeting new people, and visiting new places also play a crucial role in freeing yourself from narcissistic characteristics.
The narcissistic cycle of Abuse leaves the person experiencing emptiness, deep scars, and a long-lost connection with the world. Narcissists have a very negative impact on their partners and thus their partners find it hard to recognize genuine feelings once they are out of the toxic narcissistic cycle of abuse.
Also, it is not completely true and necessary that narcissists would not reveal their true selves, as they might continuously display so many signs. It is just you need to be alert and attentive when you are dealing with a narcissist. Also, you may also choose to help you notice the signs. Act accordingly. If the abuse becomes too much for you, you can also plan the exit from the relationship without feeling guilty. Start prioritizing your well-being over the toxicity.