How does a narcissist respond to no contact? When you have finally decided to go no-contact with the narcissist, but doubt about how they might react to your firm grounded decision. It is your way of saying “Not Anymore”, but will they be able to let you go off the hook that easily? Let us know further.
When you decide to go no-contact with the narcissist, get ready to get unexpected reactions. Every narcissist is different and so do their responses. There even can be multiple reactions when you decide to go no contact with the narcissist. They can either be highly affected or just stay unaffected as if this changes nothing in their life. They can also be extremely mean, seek vengeance, be depressed, might display rage, or manipulate you into changing your decision. They can either cause a ruckus that you might remember for a lifetime, or just vanish from your life without leaving a single trace.
When you are done with the narcissist’s manipulation and abuse, it is when you wish to escape the abusive atmosphere. Thus that is when you feel to at least seek some sort of revenge, get back at a narcissist, or give them a taste of their own medicine. This is when you sought out ways to seek revenge not with violence but with actions. And one such action is ignoring them by limiting yourself to them. Breaking off contact or going completely no-contact with them.
The “No contact” is your way of saying “Just Not anymore” to the narcissistic abuse, the violence in case, the manipulative tactics, and being used as a pawn. The “No Contact phase” means going off-reach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, and even giving them the silent treatment.
Try to be as nonreactive as possible and far away from displaying emotions to them. It is known as the grey rock method for communicating with a manipulator, where you show as little emotion as possible during your communication with them. This can cause the narcissist to get even more furious but they would be left with no choice to give in when you strictly prohibit the contact.
Going No Contact with a narcissist includes no physical contact,
- No contacting or staying in touch
- No calls, texts, and no connections through social media
- No casual meetups or encounters
- No more being friends with them
- No more exchanging gifts
- Not even meeting them through the mutual social group or gatherings or even family
Mistakes to avoid when going no contact with the narcissist
- The urge or need to seek closure
- Breaking the no-contact rule to reinforce the no-contact rule
- Spying through social media
- Convincing yourself to get back with them through some excuses
- Believing that the narcissist is changed
- Being alone or without any support while reinforcing the no-contact rule
- Not falling for their tricks like hoovering, chasing, or reappearing
If they left you and you decide to go no contact with them, then their probable reaction is to keep you in the toxic loop and keep you as their back supply option. But if it is you who left them and despite that you decide to go no-contact with the narcissist, then be ready for a game of vengeance as they feel you have too much power and control over them or they would just behave as if they do not care at all as they do not like at being at anyone’s mercy.
When they feel you have too much control over them by going no contact, this is when they decide to seek an act of revenge, hurt you emotionally, and get a reaction from you.
How does a Narcissist respond to No Contact?: 10 Plausible reactions
Narcissists are multi-faceted individuals and this their reactions would also differ from the conventional and most common ones. Narcissists constantly juggle between being a super confident self on the outside and a gloomy, undermined, and highly doubted inadequate self on the inside.
They already have a pre-existent constant fear that they might be disliked, rejected by others or they might be repudiated by them if they do not maintain their grandiose self-image. So when you go no-contact with a narcissist they would act all mighty on the outside, but on the inside; they might be bursting with anger, or a fear of abandonment, or a hailstorm of revenge, anything is possible. There are a few more plausible reactions, which are discussed below,
Acting like you never mattered to them
Narcissists are someone who does not miss the chance to discard someone after they break up with someone. when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. This is the phase when they usually start to dump you again when they feel they can no longer gain supply from you.
Once the relationship is over, you become unimportant to the narcissists, thus when they act like you no longer matter to them, do not take this personally, and do not devalue yourself. So when you get a chance to go no-contact, just grab the chance and do not return to the toxic relationship.
They cannot let people know that they need you desperately and thus they might act vigorously and tough and might say things like,
- “Big deal, I do not need anyone to be fulfilled.”
- “It hardly matters whether you stay or not.”
It is important to remember that what a narcissist says or does is on them and you have to fear nothing or nothing is on you. So be bold and say out loud what your heart feels like.
The roots of narcissism often lie in toxic wounds and a deep-rooted fear that might be due to childhood insecurities or some deep-seated trauma. Anger is the foremost reaction when a narcissist feels hurt or when they are emotionally damaged. Narcissists cannot bear when they lose control of the situation. They can be brutal and say some things that you might not want to hear.
A narcissist’s thought processes and reflexes are a little impossible to predict precisely. They act impulsively out of rage when proven wrong, criticized, rejected, ignored, or denied. Narcissists are passive-aggressive beings, who fail to connect emotionally with their loved ones hence they use various methods to feel powerful. Their actions always differ from what they have to say or believe.
Ignoring the no-contact boundary
Narcissists would never respect your boundaries and would always try to cross them. They would not respect the no-contact boundary. They might keep calling you, texting you, and finding you at places where they might expect you to be at home or at work.
The typical narcissistic behavior includes, not maintaining boundaries even after discarding you or breaking up with you just to gain benefits from you after they have left you.
So what should you do when a narcissist does not respect your boundaries?
Blocking them on all social media platforms. Do not feel guilty when you do so, as you do not owe them any explanation.
Criticizing you to others
When you cause a narcissistic injury by going no-contact with the narcissist, then they would not hesitate even once to spread rumors about you and would tell all sorts of stories and lies to turn people around you against you. They would wish all people just cut ties with you and then you have to rely on them. They would not allow people to know your side of the story.
Narcissists would try to save their own selves by acting the victim and hiding their real toxic selves they project all the bad that they have done with you onto you and tag you as the bad person here claiming all the bad or the wrongdoings under your name.
Making up emergencies
When nothing works for the narcissist, they would make excuses like they are going through a rough patch in life or some terminal illness, or they might create a fake scenario that may make you sympathize with them. They may try to benefit from your kindness and softheartedness by manipulating you to not believe these fake scenarios that may force you to break your own boundaries of no-contact and show empathy and sympathy for them.
So when this happens, do not panic and get worried instantly. Take a breath and rewind back into your memories. Try to figure out the truth and try to remember whether or not have they done something similar to gain your sympathy previously while you were in a relationship with them.
So if you feel that the scene that they are depicting to you seems fabricated or fake, it is okay to not respond at all, but if you feel that they might be in some real trouble, just guide them to other sources for seeking help like getting them helpline number or someone from their family who might help them get them through the issue, without your indulgence.
Stalking can be dangerous for you, and it is one of the most dangerous measures that a narcissist might seek to break your no-contact boundary. When they are unable to contact you, they can make your day-to-day life uncomfortable by stalking your activities and knowing your whereabouts to reach out to you in person.
If a narcissist crosses your boundaries more than often and repeatedly makes you feel unsafe, start maintaining the records of their improper behavior and feel free to take legal actions in extreme cases by seeking a restraining order for them abided by the law.
Making you feel Guilty
Guilt-tripping is a manipulative tactic used to make someone feel guilty or ashamed for their actions or decisions. Integrity is the key card, that a narcissist might use when they know that you are maintaining your no-contact boundaries. They would simply not provide any justifications and might just break your boundaries as they think you owe them an apology for deciding such boundaries without their consent. They would blame you for putting them in such situations where they had to act the way they did.
They would justify their manipulation and abuse as a response to your past mistakes and behavior with them. This way they would justify all their mistakes even dragging you into the picture, by calculating your mistakes and making you realize that you are the same as them, and your blame is just baseless as you both sail in the same boat. They would pin all the relationship issues on you and would simply run all over your boundaries by repeatedly making you feel guilty.
Narcissists may choose many Hoovering tactics to break your no-contact boundary just to gain you back in the relationship. One of the Hoovering tactics is them begging you to stay, but remember here, that narcissists can never change completely, and all the changes that they might promise you might be short-termed or fake. They would beg you to accept them back.
A narcissist might choose all sorts of manipulative hoovering tactics to lure you back into the relationship like love bombing, which might include,
- Calling on special dates and occasions
- Reaching out through social media
- Making big commitments and promises
- Not letting go of your possessions
- Demanding a closure
- Bethinking past memories and reminding them
- Presenting themselves as a changed individual
- Out-of-the-blue meetups on holidays or special reminiscing dates
- Reaching out to your family, friends, or acquaintances
- Love bombing you with gifts and so-called attachment
Contacting you through friends and family
If you block their number, they might try to reach you out through other phone numbers may be a friend or a family member, or just might get a new sim card just to reach you anonymously. They would be desperate to end this no-contact situation as soon as possible so that they can obtain their supply.
They would use all sorts of flattery and tricks to lure you into giving in. They would try to reach out to you and meet you, by taking the same routes of which they would be aware, the same mode of transportation, or might even wait outside your workplace or your residence just to mention their mere presence and convince you to get back with them.
They would seek out other people
It does not take long for a narcissist to move on from their previous partner to a new partner to obtain their narcissistic supply. Narcissists can be quick as a flash to move on to a new partner after you start maintaining your no-contact boundaries just to make you jealous. If this happens and you find the narcissist with a new partner, think it’s a blessing in disguise as you would be safe from narcissistic hoovering which can be very irritating and annoying for you.
Narcissists are multi-faceted individuals and this their reactions would also differ from the conventional and most common ones. So breaking your no-contact boundary would be their natural reaction. So do not be bothered and do your thing of maintaining the no-contact with them.
The “No contact” is your way of saying “Just Not anymore” to the narcissistic abuse, the violence in case, the manipulative tactics, and being used as a pawn.
So do not melt or give away halfway through just complete the no-contact phase and get your freedom by freeing yourself from the narcissistic relationship.
- The Narcissist And Second Marriage – Unraveling The Mystery Of Them Remarrying - September 20, 2023
- Can Someone Become A Narcissist Later In Life? – The Possibilities - September 19, 2023
- What is Narcissistic Triangulation? – Meaning, Examples, and Ways to cope - September 18, 2023