Why Is The Narcissist Nice To His New Girlfriend Than His Ex?
Why is the Narcissist nice to his new girlfriend than his Ex? Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. Narcissists have a toxic dating cycle, which does not allow them to commit to their partners for a longer time once they feel their partner has outrun their quota of narcissistic supply. There are a few reasons in the form of answers to the question, “Why is the Narcissist nice to his new girlfriend than his Ex?”, and those are discussed further in the article.
A narcissistic supply is everything that makes a narcissistic life fulfilled. It is that one thing that a narcissist always craves. They feel handicapped without their sources of admiration, attention, validation, importance, and everything that makes them feel special. Narcissists seek supply more than anything, and they could do everything to obtain their dose of supply. when they feel a lack of narcissistic supply from you, they may cheat on you with someone who is full of narcissistic supply.
Narcissists even get easily bored and dissatisfied with their partner, once they feel their source of supply has been drained, so they might leave you for another person sooner or later. Narcissists are unpredictable beings and most of the time their actions do not match their sweet words, like discarding their partner but with some cheezy, love-bombing technique.
Why do Narcissists jump from Relationship to Relationship?
The prime reason why narcissists jump from relationship to relationship is their urge to obtain the maximum amount of narcissistic supply. They usually trap their victims in t their manipulative games by using techniques such as narcissistic projection, love bombing, and showing a fake desirable future to retain their new relationship to obtain the maximum narcissistic supply.
What is Narcissistic supply?
A narcissistic supply is everything that makes a narcissistic life fulfilled. It is that one thing that a narcissist always craves even. One can even say that a narcissist is only able to fulfill their life purposes on the basis of supply itself. They feel handicapped without their sources of admiration, attention, validation, importance, and everything that makes them feel special. Narcissists seek supply more than anything, and they could do everything to obtain their dose of supply. Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior.
Narcissistic supply is one of the prime reasons for them to date commit to a relationship. They do not have love as the first priority, their first priority is obtaining their supply, once they drain you completely out of supply they would leave you or might still have you as their backup source of supply. Narcissists also have their own stock of narcissistic supply.
Narcissists would not substantiate the fact that they survive and fit into the world with the help of supply, as they feel nothing could weaken their existence, but without supply, they would not be able to function smoothly and effortlessly. They are unable to process the thought of not having a source of supply so they always have their sources of supply lined up.
Why do Narcissists find new partners or supply?
Narcissists tend to seek out new partners or new sources of supply due to various reasons,
- Narcissists have an elevated sense of entitlement which makes them feel superior and allows them to behave as they wish without considering anyone’s feelings. Sometimes their conduct may even cross the social bounds of society. They are desire-driven beings who let their desires, lust, and pleasure control them.
- Narcissists do not like being bound by rules of matrimony or by boundaries of responsibilities. So marriage, childbearing, making new relations, or taking responsibility are not their usual deals and so they find new partners just to bolt away to hide from responsibilities.
- Narcissists are not good while dealing with truth, feelings, vulnerabilities, commitments, and confrontations. So when they feel they are being trapped in the matrimonial rules by their partner, they often release their tension with someone else, where they can just ignore all the responsibilities at least for a while.
- Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. So when they feel a lack of narcissistic supply from you, they may find someone who is full of narcissistic supply. (Supply here refers to giving them attention, praising their accomplishments, providing a sense of entitlement and validation whether it is positive or negative, providing special treatment, meeting their needs and demands, and making them the center of your world.)
- Narcissists are often not satisfied by little, they need everything best and accomplished. They are greedy. So when they come across someone who is more accomplished, has more monetary resources, and is better than their current partner, they might leave you for someone else.
- Narcissists are usually materialistic and obsessed with everything which makes their social image lustrous. Money is one such factor that can fulfill all their materialistic desires, thus they can be consumed by money, fame, and praise. They like to be celebrated loud and lustrous to boost their ego. Even if it is fake, they need praise in a notable manner, and sometimes money can get you that. So they chase money and everyone and everything related to it. So even if it includes cheating, they would not hesitate once.
- They can get easily bored with you and might find someone out of boredom just for having some fun, and thus cheat on their current partner.
- Narcissists are often afraid of being alone and finding a new partner helps them to avoid feelings of abandonment.
- Narcissists tend to lack empathy for others and may move on quickly to a new partner without considering the feelings of their previous partner.
- Narcissists tend to idealize new partners and see them as perfect, which satisfies their need for perfection and superiority.
- Narcissists may not see any flaws in themselves or their behavior as they consider them flawless hence they lack self-reflection. They may blame their current partner for any issue in the relationship leading them to seek a new partner they believe will be a better match.
- Narcissists seek to control and tend to dominate their partners and a new partner provides them with a fresh opportunity to do so.
Why is the Narcissist nice to his new Girlfriend than his Ex?
Narcissists are known to be manipulative, cunning, mean, and self-centered beings, who are capable of putting on a social persona that makes them appear as someone with authenticity, charm, appeal, and stunning personalities. Their tactics are geared toward controlling their relationships, upturning people to their side, isolating them from their loved ones, and getting the utmost benefit from them. Hence it does not seem uncommon when a narcissist leaves their old partners and find someone better who is full of narcissistic supply. It is a common sight when a narcissist treats their new partner charmingly, respectfully, and with the utmost care, while the ex-partner partner gets the short end of the stick.
There are various reasons why a narcissist would treat their current or new partner better than their exes.
Narcissists totally live through the attention, admiration, and validation that they get from others. They love the feeling of being wanted and desired, which is why they put in extra effort to charm their new partners. This new partner, unaware of their true nature, provides them with the opportunity to be the perfect lovers. Narcissists act so charmingly and amiably in the honey phase of the relationship, that their partner is completely smitten and awestruck by them and follows them and their whims without a hint of doubt. Narcissists always adore the honeymoon phase of the relationship where both partners are in the process of knowing each other.
What is the honeymoon phase of a relationship?
The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is the early stage when couples feel an intense infatuation and chemistry with each other. During this period, the couple indulges in a deep bond through romance, affection, and infatuation. Everything feels new and exciting, with many opportunities to explore each other’s personalities, hobbies, and interests. There are many heart-fluttering and butterflies in the stomach moments during the honeymoon phase. Though this phase exists for a little while only in the relationship, but this is the most exciting and important phase for the relationship.
On the other hand, a narcissist’s relationship with their ex is different. Firstly, there seems no newness in the relationship, also the honeymoon phase is long gone or has disappeared completely. Narcissists also hate the fact that their ex has successfully moved on, found happiness, forgotten them, and also found someone to be with. They feel threatened when their ex moves on completely and finds a new partner, and they also would be willing to do everything possible in their power to make their ex miserable or would rant out to their ex’s new partners. Thus a narcissist might be totally uncooperative, hostile, hurtful, and unfriendly with their exes.
Another reason why a narcissist behaves differently with their new girlfriends is because they do not want to repeat the same mistakes that they made with their ex-partner. Narcissists are smart beings, hence they would totally manipulate their love interests but would never repeat the same mistakes that they made in their previous relationships. When a narcissist’s previous relationship collapses, they will take time to observe what went wrong and what do they need to improve in their new relationship. They will note details regarding what triggered their exes, what they liked and disliked, and what behavior hurt their feelings. By doing so they can avoid making all those mistakes with their new partner and have a smooth transition.
Finally when a narcissist’s new girlfriend is their source of narcissistic supply. The attention, admiration, and validation that the new partner provides to the narcissists are crucial to maintaining their feelings of self-importance and grandiose sense of self. Without a steady flow of supply, narcissists feel depressed, empty, and insecure. Hence, they treat their new girlfriend well as a way of ensuring that the flow of supply never comes to an end.
Narcissists even get easily bored and dissatisfied with their partner, once they feel their source of supply has been drained, so they might leave their ex-partners for another person sooner or later. Narcissists do not have empathy leading them to completely ignore another person’s emotions and prioritize their nasty desires over their partner’s feelings.
How Long Can a Narcissist go without Supply? This totally depends upon the type of individual the narcissist is. Narcissists usually and most probably always do have a backup supply option in case they lose their supply source. So they do not have to get along without supply as narcissists cannot function properly without their daily dose of supply. But with time and passing age, their charm happens to fade and they cannot lure their source of supply easily.
When a narcissist loses their source of supply, they would have to face their insecurities, let down their fake masks, be with their true selves, and face their toxic selves. This can make a narcissist treacherous and vicious to people around them. Narcissists cannot bear when they lose control of the situation. They might have expected that you would forgive them readily if something is wrong between you both, but when the situation turns another way around and you still ignore them, their first instinct would be to lash out. They can be brutal and say some things that you might not want to hear.
Conclusion
Narcissists are excellent manipulators who play roles that make them appear charming and likable. They do this to control their relationships, dominate their partners, and ensure a steady flow of narcissistic supply. They treat their new girlfriend better than their ex-girlfriend because it is a novelty they have learned from their past mistakes, and their new partner is their source of supply which they cannot let go of. However, it is essential to remember that narcissists are always manipulative and will use every opportunity to put their partners down and create chaos in their lives.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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