What Happens When You Stand Up to a Narcissist? (Experimented)

What happens when you Stand Up to a Narcissist? Standing up against a narcissist comes with its own pros and cons. It can have both positive and negative consequences. Managing and maintaining a relationship with someone with a personality disorder can be difficult in itself, and it becomes even more difficult when you have to deal with the confrontation and stand up for yourself.

There are no specific personality traits that can claim or make a narcissistic, but a few characteristics that can be associated with narcissism that makes the relationship feel one-sided, are as follows,

  • Need for excessive admiration or adoration
  • Manipulative behavior
  • Grandiose sense of self-obsession or self-importance
  • A belief that they are special, unique, and more entitled than others
  • Exploiting other people, including their loved ones, to achieve what they wish or desire.
  • Lack of empathy
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of power, success, beauty, and desirability

A Narcissistic relationship can often feel emotionally draining and suffocating. Narcissistic partners often exhibit a lack of empathy, constantly seek attention and adoration from them, manipulate them easily for fulfilling their desires, can be mean when you try to put a point forward which may be against them, and may also wage a rage(anger) war when you try to confront them.

The relationship may feel one-sided, with the narcissistic partner always needing to be in control and the center of attraction in all matters. Their behavior may be emotionally abusive at times, leaving their partner feeling anxious, perplexed, and unfulfilled. On and all a narcissistic relationship may constantly feel like a conflict, abusive, and a struggle to seek validation, attention, stability, and balance.

Narcissists are so demanding, and it is very stressful to be around them. When you are new to the world of dating a narcissist or being committed to them, you are merely adjusting or struggling to find yourself comfortable around them. As in the initial stages, you do not know why a person behaves so or if such behavior is normal. It becomes strenuous to continue the relationship in such a manner, as narcissists are so difficult to handle.

A narcissistic individual can be defined as someone who easily takes advantage of other people’s liberality, amplitude, righteousness, and gullibility, someone who is a moocher, and someone who would not think twice before using someone as their trump card without feeling grateful, or returning the favor or even being thankful for someone’s generosity.

A narcissist is an incorrigible person who is not able to acknowledge their own mistakes and considers themselves spotless and perfect. They try to be perfectionists and idealists and claim veneration. They adore only themselves and think that no one can love them more than themselves so they do not consider or even try to appreciate your feelings. They do not reciprocate your love and care. They run after materialistic pleasures rather than enjoying the company of their partner fully.

Narcissists are well aware of where they lack, where they are not fond of the way they act or do not like themselves at many times but never admit it. Instead, they would reciprocate all the hate toward the people near them or involved in their life. They would never show their weak spots as they have a strong defense mechanism and they would never admit that they are wrong. So they have troubled relationships as they are unable to convey your feelings with the same intensity as you do it.

A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life, control over all individuals and their behavior, and also expects everyone around the to focus just on them. They intend to be the center of attraction in all situations. A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships.

Is it a good idea to stand up against a narcissist?

You should always keep in mind that confronting a narcissist can always put you in a tough position. “Confronting a narcissist would be like fighting a battle of wills.” But being strong and standing up for yourself holds greater importance than simply dealing with a narcissist after a confrontation.

What happens when you stand up to a Narcissist?

If you have ever had to deal with a narcissistic person, you might have noticed that they tend to dominate conversations and make things all about themselves. They might talk over you, or criticize you for speaking your mind. This can be incredibly frustrating, and it may feel like there is no way to get through to them.

When you stand up to a narcissist, something interesting happens. They may react defensively, but they also may start to pay attention to you and take you seriously. This is because narcissistic people thrive on attention and validation, and when you confront them, they may realize that they are not getting the admiration and validation they crave from you.

There are a few plausible reactions that you may receive from a narcissist when you try to stand up against them which are mentioned below,

They would try to manipulate you by persuasive convincing to distort your attention

Narcissists are smooth talkers and they can easily manipulate you with their nicely woven words and promises. A narcissist would be extremely charming and would only mirror the words that you might want to hear at the moment and would justify your accusation against them. This might create confusion for you as you would feel, you are extremely loved at the moment and might want to consider your accusation. But do not get flattered by their sweet words because they would just be temporary.

Narcissists would use flattery and mirroring techniques for deceiving you, hide their true personality and intentions behind the mirrored image, distort your attention from reality, and continue obtaining their supply. Narcissists may even succeed for once in their little trick of distorting reality but keep in mind that a narcissist tends to make lies once they gain your trust.

They manipulate you with projections

Projection means a justification of one’s action by accusing or pointing fingers at others. It is a reaction or a repulse action that is an outcome of one’s guilt, wrongdoing, or something that one is not proud of in particular or is not ready to accept or reflect on self. This makes it easy to deal with a difficult situation, without much remorse.

Narcissistic projections are like their hidden superpower according to them. They use it out of nowhere and leave you perplexed. They use these projections as a defense mechanism when they feel they would be exposed or their grandiose image is being questioned or tarnished.

When something you said triggers a narcissist or points out their wrongdoing; they cannot take this in any circumstances. Remember that they do not take criticism well. They would be all hyped up and agitated to provide a counter-argument that satisfies their ego and proves that they are right and have been wrongly pointed at. So until they transfer all blame on you they would not stop their narcissistic projections. You can be the victim of narcissistic projections on multiple instances wherever you try to prove a narcissist wrong or challenge their toxic personality.

How To Tell A Narcissist That They Are Narcissists? (Without Making The Situation Worse)

You would face their rage

The first and foremost reaction of a narcissist to any inconvenience caused by others is anger, rage, or wrath. If you have been with a narcissist you might be aware of their anger issues. They feel more agitated than usual when you ask them to reflect upon the exposure. They would be harsh with their words. They would try to hurt you emotionally.

They might even try to project the confrontation toward you. They may also state that the problem might be with you and not them. They may state that they are perfectly fine with perfect mental health. They might even call you names or use abusive vocabulary when you expose their truth but do not get disheartened or terrified by their rage, as it is their go-to tactic to outburst their rage on you.

They would try to distort the reality of the situation

Narcissists would be so perplexed about the whole situation that they would jump onto immediate solutions which include distorting and denying the whole truth and reality of the situation. They would try to reverse the situation and play the victim.

They would go into denial mode and would not accept the truth. They would create many false facades of lies just to hide that one truth. Hiding the reality of the situation becomes their top priority at that moment. They might also play the victim here, and accuse you of false accusations. They might gaslight you and make you doubt your sanity.

Is it a good idea to stand up against a narcissist?

If you want to end things or if you are really done or annoyed with the narcissist then you may choose to confront their toxic behavior or any other trait that bothers you. But if you plan to continue the relationship standing up may cause you some discomfort in the relationship as the narcissist thinks that their behavior is perfect and the idea of you standing against them gives them an opportunity to be even nastier than their usual selves and this it may not be a good idea.

Though you should always keep in mind that confronting a narcissist can always put you in a tough position. “Confronting a narcissist would be like fighting a battle of wills.” But being strong and standing up for yourself holds greater importance than simply dealing with a narcissist after a confrontation.

How do you stand up for yourself?

Believe in yourself – When dealing with a narcissist and when you choose to stand up for yourself then the first thing here is to have faith in yourself because the first thing a narcissist might try to hurt is your pride and break your faith by manipulating you.

Identify the problem precisely – Figuring out what is wrong or what behavior feels wrong in the relationship and what solution is required for that issue as such behavior would no longer be acceptable, becomes the next step.

Using assertive language – Using firm but not aggressive language to convey your point is important.

Setting Boundaries – Being clear about your expectations and boundaries is equally important and do not allow anyone to cross those boundaries set by you.

Practicing Self-care – Take care of yourself mentally and physically and do not hesitate to seek professional help if you are struggling.

Things to keep in mind while standing up against a Narcissist

  • Staying calm while standing up against a narcissist as this can make a big difference while dealing with them, as they would be more agitated at that time as their truth has been unplugged.
  • Not using harsh words, in the form of a defense mechanism as words can ignite their rage.
  • Creating clear boundaries. This can make a Narcissist angry at first but can make a huge difference later.
  • Knowing more about Narcissism can make it easy to deal with a Narcissist and their real personalities.
  • Speaking up for oneself may affect the relationship with a Narcissist in the current scenario, but can ease up the conversations for later reference.
  • Avoid attacking their character. Narcissists have fragile egos and can be very defensive, so it is important to focus on their behavior rather than their character or personality.
  • Prepare for retaliation. Narcissists are really bad at taking criticism and ma may not act kindly when you stand up for yourself. So it becomes important to prepare yourself for any potential negative consequences.
  • Also, remember narcissists would be agile in showing their rage as they have been exposed so you might not want to add more to that, just ignore them to maintain your peace.


You should always keep in mind that confronting a narcissist can always put you in a tough position. “Confronting a narcissist would be like fighting a battle of wills.” But being strong and standing up for yourself holds greater importance than simply dealing with a narcissist after a confrontation.

Standing up to a narcissist can be a powerful way to confront the toxic behavior that you have been putting up with patience till now. This can be a power move to demand respect. While it may not be an easy task and also it comes with its own risks. Standing up against a narcissist comes with its own pros and cons. It can have both positive and negative consequences.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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