Narcissism is on the rise with every coming day. Narcissism is a deep-rooted personality trait. Many incidents show the rise of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the past 10 years. This makes it evident that Narcissism is widespread and we are amidst a serious situation where personality disorder has become a common cause for commotion in the social circle or society.
If you have come across someone who is toxic in certain ways and needs to check in with the distinctive signs that help to determine and spot narcissists around you, then this article states some distinctive signs of a narcissist.
What is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is totally selfish and mean.
A narcissist is an incorrigible person who is not able to acknowledge their own mistakes and considers themselves spotless and perfect. They try to be perfectionists and idealists and claim veneration. They adore only themselves and think that no one can love them more than themselves so they do not consider or even try to appreciate your feelings. They do not reciprocate your love and care. They run after materialistic pleasures rather than enjoying the company of their partner fully.
Characteristics of a Narcissist
These characteristics may vary for some individuals, but the mentioned traits can be generalized for almost all narcissists.
Manipulation – Manipulation is a narcissist’s go-to tactic while dealing with others in order to get what they need.
Grandiosity – Narcissists have a boosted sense of self-importance and thus showing off their achievements, talents, plus points, looks and much more becomes their regular ritual.
Lack of Accountability – Narcissists may never take responsibility for their actions even though their actions may cause distress and harm to others. They use the technique called blameshifting to distract everyone and thus ditch their wrongdoings.
Entitlement – Narcissists believe that they are made for special treatment and deserve all the privileges as they are better than others.
Envy – Narcissists easily get jealous of other people, their looks, their achievements, and much more.
Exploitative tendencies – Narcissists can exploit others without giving it a second thought and without even trying to know the consequences of their actions.
Arrogance – Narcissists are filled with arrogance and their attitude towards others says it all.
Lack of Empathy – Narcissists lack empathy thus they are unable to understand other people’s emotions. they lack a perspective that can help them understand someone else’s situation. They cannot put themselves in other people’s shoes. For them only self-importance and self sympathy matters.
An obsessive need for admiration – Narcissists constantly need reassurance from other people. They would always direct conversations toward seeking attention in the form of compliments, praise, and glorification of their worth.
Identity Issues – Many narcissists are unable to identify their toxic personalities due to little to no ego strength. Thus they are unable to reflect on their own self.
Now after being familiar with the characteristics of a narcissist, let us know some distinctive signs that can help you spot the narcissist.
10 Signs Of A Narcissist
If you have someone narcissistic around you then one important sign to look for is that they make you feel inferior to them, in any way possible. They would always be comparing you with others making you a victim of triangulation tactic.
According to them you always lack or are inferior to them. To deal with this situation efficiently, you must approach the narcissist directly so that their behavior seems unfair to you and you no longer wish to experience their toxic behavior.
It is important to discuss everything that you feel due to their unfair behavior as this person would no longer be able to use you as their punching bag once you make them aware of what you feel. They would make you feel inferior regularly if you do not stop them by building boundaries and discussing those clearly with them.
Giving Unsolicited Advice
To spot a narcissist, this is a distinctive trait that you should look for. Narcissists have a tendency to provide unsolicited advice to demonstrate their superiority, knowledge, and insight. Narcissists have a tendency to overdo everything, and that also includes sharing information on everything.
Narcissists would give you unsolicited advice even if unasked. This happens because they tend to show off their superiority to everyone and thus seek attention from everyone. They would act the most sophisticated in a room filled with people and draw attention by exhibiting their inflated sense of self-importance.
Having a conversation with a narcissist feels like it is frequently circling back to them. You hardly are able to make your point or talk about yourself or your problem. While discussing any issue with a narcissist, they would constantly prove how innocent they are. If they are the initiators of the conversation, then be ready to listen to them and go on and on about them.
They thrive on what others think about them, thus when they see conversation going in other direction other than theirs, they draw back the conversation immediately to themselves. So if you are stuck in a similar situation where the narcissist hardly listens to you, what you can do is make them aware of what they are doing while having conversations.
But one thing you need to be careful about here is to be polite when you point it out, as they can get offended easily and may cause conflicts. Thus narcissists are self-centered beings, and this can’t be changed even if you try hard.
Refusal to accept Responsibility
When things turn out as the narcissist planned them, then they would readily accept the appreciation and boast about being perfect at everything they do and plan. But if things do not work out as per the plan, they would never accept their shortcomings and readily blame others and evade responsibility.
Blame shifting is an emotional and manipulative behavior tactic that is used by abusers, especially people who suffer from personality disorders, such as narcissism. When the abuser has difficulty acknowledging the problem that they have created and instead of taking responsibility or blame for what they have done wrong, they accuse the other people around them of having a negative perspective about their efforts, about them, or overall.
So if anything goes wrong it is never really because of them and never their fault. They always find someone to pin the blame on, for instance, they would blame the other students if they are doing a group assignment, or while at the workplace, if a project includes many people, they would instantly blame their colleagues if anything goes wrong for the project.
Lack of Empathy
Narcissists form superficial bonds, that are based on transactional relations due to a lack of empathy. They often form shallow relationships with people with whom they are associated intimately. Their bonds may seem intimate initially, but with the passage of time the reality may hit you and you may be able to see the reality of the relationship that you have formed with them.
Narcissists lack empathy, care, emotional bond, and intimacy. They would be emotionally unavailable in their relationships. But they do possess empathy, just for the sake of presenting themselves as someone caring and mature in front of others. They may not understand the actual meaning of empathy, they would just display a certain behavior that may resemble or resonate with empathetic feelings just to boost their image.
Reveling in Drama
Narcissists often choose drama and chaos over a peaceful and respectful relationship. By doing so they wish to take control of situations and the people involved in the situation. Such situations help them create the kind of drama they wish to revel in.
Narcissists are always ready to provoke a reaction out of others, so refusing to engage in an argument, can save you from getting emotional and believing what they want you to believe. This can be an effective way to avoid giving them attention. Not engaging in any kind of drama, heated arguments, or disagreements just to mirror the reality of the situation may help you maintain your cool.
Riling up situations just to aggravate you is their power move just to get on your nerves. It is just a part of their toxic game, to get a reaction out of you as this provides them a narcissistic supply.
A constant search for “The Next Thing”
Narcissists are always in a constant search for things, people, and activities that make them feel better about themselves. They are not contented with what they have now, as jealousy is their strong suit. They would always be eyeing the next thing as soon as they achieve what they targeted.
This may include the next car, the next home, or even the next partner. They are rarely satisfied with what they have in the present, just they would engage in searching for the next best thing. The concept of happiness for narcissist is often associated with materialistic possessions and thus they would keep fulfilling their desires to gain happiness.
Playing the Victim
Narcissists can play the victim or have the victim mentality if they believe that they can gain something out of the guilt-tripping. Narcissists are manipulators and they tend to manipulate people around them to gain benefit.
It is not clear whether narcissists really feel victimized or they are just lying or pretending to be a victim of Twitch social interplays.
Generally, people with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies find it difficult to make themselves aware of their nasty and delusional behavior. They even fail to notice how their behavior may affect other people around them or how it may put someone else in a tight spot. They may not recognize their own mistakes or manipulative behavior when you point it out to them, as narcissists think highly of themselves.
This can be the prime reason why they may feel attacked when someone points fingers at them. They just cannot accept the fact that they might have done something wrong due to their inflated sense of self-importance.
The tendency of self-obsession and self-absorption along with a boosted sense of self-superiority may leave a narcissist to observe the situation of absorbing the blame as something improper or targeting, thus they may decide to play the victim card.
Desire to Be in Control
Narcissists like the assurance of things going their way. They would always wish to have their way with situations, people, and everything that can affect their grandiose selves. Thus they often like to control everything around them.
So when you have a narcissist in your life it is always what they wish, what they want, and what puts their needs first. They would focus the conversations on themselves, all relationships with them are always about them and you would often find yourself fulfilling what they need.
Thus they often expect to act according to their plan and establish their control and when that does not happen they do not know how to react, thus they always end up furious and you might have to face their rage when they lose control.
One thing you cannot just miss out on when you wish to spot the narcissist is the constant need for perfection in everything. Along with striving for their own perfection, they have high expectations from others too. They would always want you to be perfect, they would wish that all situations and things should fall in place according to their plan.
In achieving this perfection, they would create impossible demands for them to fulfill, thus making everyone around them miserable. They would always be dissatisfied with themselves. So when you come across someone who has a constant desire to be perfect, they can be a narcissist but do not just pinpoint anyone who might wish for perfection around them, first ensure by observing their other traits and then make up your mind regarding someone.
Can Narcissism be treated?
Narcissism usually cannot be treated with self-help unless and until a person is determined and strong-willed to get cured as narcissists believe that they are perfect and they do not need any help. It just needs the self-realization that a person lacks something and needs assistance from therapists to keep everything smooth.
You may find it difficult to deal with someone who is a narcissist. But you can make this easier by learning how to recognize the signs of narcissism.
It becomes difficult to detect such an individual and also ascertain their abusive and manipulative personality.
Also, it is a little difficult to figure out narcissists initially, but you might eventually figure them out due to their peculiar narcissistic traits.