How to get a narcissist to leave you alone? Expecting and Accomplishing the task of managing to get a narcissist to leave you alone is more difficult than you may have presumed.
Getting a narcissist to leave may be one of the most toiling parts of getting out of the narcissistic abusive relationship.
Narcissists linger around their exes to check up on them even after breaking up. They never completely cut ties with their exes until they have completely benefitted from them. They do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up but they fear abandonment and a lack of supply. They tend to stay in touch with their exes or even try to get back together, to satisfy their ego.
Narcissistic partners believe that they are the best anyone can ever get, and thus they check up on their exes after breaking up to know how miserable their exes might be to get that ego boost.
Why is it so hard to end a relationship with a narcissist?
The first thing that Narcissists do as soon as they get into a relationship is mow down their partner’s self-confidence and self-esteem. This results in their partners feeling insecure about themselves and having worrisome thoughts about finding someone better or what will they be left with if the narcissist leaves them.
Narcissists manipulate their partners and interfere so much in their partner’s lives to maintain closeness. This may secure the relationship or may make the bond close, but makes it difficult for anyone to leave the narcisist and they know that.
Narcissists have the victim mentality through which they manipulate their partners into feeling guilty about hurting the narcisist. This makes it difficult for their partners to leave them.
Will a Narcisist get the hint to leave you alone?
Narcissists may never have thought that their partners might want to be left alone as they think they are the best and nobody can be dissatisfied with them. But little do they know, they are the problematic ones in the relationship.
Some narcissists might get the hint but would never accept this decision at once. They may convince their partners to stay in the toxic relationship by gaslighting them. They might make statements like, “Oh! Do you wish to leave me? I had no idea you were serious about leaving me!”
In most cases, narcissists do not get the hint to leave their partners alone. So if you wish firmly to leave your narcissistic partner, make sure to have a strong-headed thought that may remain unaffected even with manipulation. Draw clear boundaries, mention it again, and on repeat that you are fed up with them and this might hurt their ego which may or may not result in them leaving you.
When is the best time to leave a Narcisist and an abusive and toxic relationship?
There is no such thing as a right or best timing when it comes to an abusive and toxic relationship. When you are aware that all that you are facing is abuse and manipulation and you have been involved in such a relationship where emotions and intimacy do not hold any importance, that is the correct time to leave your partner as it is never going to be better, and yes it may get worse with time but not any better.
Leaving your partner may come with its own challenges, but the first step to anything always looks difficult, but once you take that step you may smell freedom, and healing. You may experience how your life is without your toxic partner and how good is that feeling.
Every tunnel has a bright light at the end, so just remember this and take that bold step to leave the abusive and toxic relationship.
How do you leave a narcissistic partner if you have a child together?
When one of the parents is a narcissist, then the process of divorcing or leaving them becomes difficult, especially with a child in the picture. The narcissist can be manipulative as manipulation is among their top most toxic tactic and they may use the child as a pawn to get even with you.
They would do anything to win and gain control and the upper hand in the situation if they really wished to do so. Also co-parenting can be very tough to deal with when your co-partner is a narcissist.
The most important point to remember here is you are dealing with a narcissist, who might have some twisted ways when it comes to winning. So being well prepared is a must here. This also might not be or seem like a typical legal battle for custody, as the opponent here is cunning and shrewd.
If you are planning a divorce with a narcisist then the most important aspect is engaging a professional who can handle your case efficiently. Establishing a legal co-parenting strategic plan can also help. And most important part is to draw and maintain strict boundaries with the narcissist.
Why do Narcissists keep hoovering after relationships end?
Narcissists use this persuasive tactic called hoovering, where they lure their victims; victims include their ex-romantic partners or life partners if any. Once you break up with a narcissist, or they discard you, it is not yet over in many cases. Even though it is the narcissist who has discarded you, that does not matter, they would approach you if they need you.
Narcissists try to hoover around their exes and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. It can be really difficult to break up with a narcissist as they can blackmail you, take revenge, or hoover around for a long time.
They do this because they do not want to lose control over their source of supply. Also, it is always difficult to date a narcissist due to their anger issues and unhealthy behavior so they have to be dependent on a lot of people to get their supply. This is also one of the reasons why narcissists Hoover.
How To Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone? – 5 Ways
There are a few ways that can help you to get a narcisist to leave you alone,
1. Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries can help you maintain your emotional and mental well-being in the first place. It is not possible entirely to stop the narcissist from bothering you at first, but it is absolutely possible to remind them of the boundaries now and then.
Setting boundaries means clearly discussing about what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Stick to your boundaries and do not let them manipulate you. When a narcissist tries to communicate with you or manipulate you into believing something that is incorrect or bad for your own well-being, then clearly draw a line and mention your boundaries upfront.
Setting boundaries can help you in saving a lot of time, energy, and mental health. This can ensure that you remain unaffected by their behavior and protect your mental health. Narcissists tend to cross boundaries endlessly, thus being firm and holding up your limits is the best way you can protect yourself from their false accusations.
What is the best way to ensure that your boundaries are not broken or how to maintain them?
One of the best ways to ensure that your boundaries are not broken is by reinforcing them over and over again and about how to maintain them, then repeating what is acceptable and what is not in front of the people who consistently break your boundaries would help you to maintain them effectively.
2. Establishing a no contact and blocking them
When you are done with the narcissist’s manipulation and abuse, it is when you wish to escape the abusive atmosphere. Thus that is when you feel to at least seek some sort of revenge, get back at a narcissist, or give them a taste of their own medicine. This is when you seek out ways to seek revenge not with violence but with actions. And one such action is ignoring them by limiting yourself to them. Breaking off contact or just communicating when necessary is one such way.
The “No contact phase” is your way of saying “Just Not anymore” to the narcissistic abuse, the violence in case, the manipulative tactics, and being used as a pawn. The “No Contact phase” means going off-reach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, and even giving them the silent treatment.
Try to be as nonreactive as possible and far away from displaying emotions to them. It is known as the grey rock method for communicating with a manipulator, where you show as little emotion as possible during your communication with them. This can cause the narcissist to get even more furious but they would be left with no choice to give in when you strictly prohibit the contact.
Going No Contact with a narcissist includes no physical contact,
- No contacting or staying in touch
- No calls, texts, and no connections through social media
- No casual meetups or encounters
- No more being friends with them
- No more exchanging gifts
- Not even meeting them through the mutual social group or gatherings or even family
Mistakes to avoid when having no contact with the narcissist
- The urge or need to seek closure
- Breaking the contact rule to reinforce the no-contact rule
- Spying through social media
- Convincing yourself to get back with them through some excuses
- Believing that the narcissist is changed
- Being alone or without any support while reinforcing the no-contact rule
- Not falling for their tricks like hoovering, chasing, or reappearing
3. Try to seek support from friends and family
When you wish to seek freedom from a narcissist, seeking help from others can benefit you a lot. Being alone in such a phase is risky and not good for your mental health, as you would be healing from all the trauma that the narcissist had put you through.
So do hesitate to reach out to friends and family for emotional support, or join some communities or therapy groups that help in healing and dealing with trauma. it is important to seek help from others as they may help you shield your decision of leaving the narcisist and may also protect you in the worst-case scenario.
4. Seek Legal Action
A victim of narcissistic abuse has every right to seek legal protection against harassment or stalking. If the narcisist does not leave even after continuously asking them to do so, you have every right to take the matter into your own hands and involve law authorities to legalize matters for your protection.
You may also file a complaint to local law enforcement authorities and may also file for a restraining order.
5. Ignore Them
Ignoring a narcissist may come with its own consequences, but do not get frightened by the thought of it. Just work towards freeing yourself from the manipulative spell of the narcissist. Do not hesitate to ignore the narcissist, or do not just live with the thought of ignoring them in your head, implement it so that you can live a carefree life and live on your own terms.
Ignoring the narcisist would save you so much trauma where you would be safe from them draining you emotionally and mentally and also dealing with them becomes far easier when you just start feigning ignorance. Ignoring them would give you your power back, you would be able to do as you wish and also get the control back.
To get rid of the narcisist or to stop them from messing up your life is a difficult task, but not an impossible one. Stand up for yourself and your well-being, and take the bold and tough decision of leaving them. Seek help from friends and family and do not give it a second thought.
You deserve the happiness and freedom that the narcissist might have taken away from you. Just think of your emotional, physical, and mental well-being and get out of the toxic relationship.
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