Do Narcissists Regret Divorce? (Proper Guide on Divorcing a Narcissist)

Do Narcissists regret Divorce? If you are planning to divorce a narcissist then be ready for some melodrama as nothing is simple with a narcissist, especially if you are planning on parting ways with them. You would be needing extra strength, god’s grace, and a lot of willpower to survive the divorce procedure as you would be divorcing the most difficult person.

Narcsisits would be projecting all the hate, guilt, shame, and malfunctioning of the marriage toward you as a narcissist cannot bear to be the one who is guilty and this would tarnish their image. Hence be ready to receive all the blame and be ready to be held accountable for the divorce. But if you are thinking, “Do Narcissists Regret Divorce?”, “Can they feel guilty for all the toxic treatment?” or “Can you expect a proper closure from a narcissist?”; then you have landed at the correct space, as we are about to discuss all of these further.

Will a Narcissist miss you once you are gone?

When you date someone you obviously develop some kind of attachment even though the relationship you had can be toxic. It is obvious you would develop a connection when you date someone, and when you leave them it hurts and you miss that person. You give your every ounce of love to the person you are dating, and also expect the same. But would it be any worth loving a person who cannot reciprocate the same tenacity of love? For whom you cannot even be sure, that they might actually have feelings for you or would miss you if you leave them? So, will a Narcissist miss you once you are gone?

A narcissist can miss you and regret divorcing you, but for different reasons and not that you might have thought. They might miss you for the affection you had for them as everyone especially narcissists craves attention and affection. They might miss your validation for their fake, unreal, and dual personality, they might miss what you did for them, how you made them feel, and the physical intimacy. Narcissists would not actually miss you for who you are or your feelings, but they might miss you for how you made them feel special and entitled and made them your priority.

Narcissists would actually not miss your presence but they would miss their source of supply with whom they used to boost their thirst for an unquenchable ego. Narcissist just misses how you made them feel and that too just till a new supply shows up in their life. Other than that narcissists would simply would not even care if you leave them or they divorce you.

A narcissist might come around even after the divorce situation, for their benefit through their nasty desires.

• A narcissist never wants to lose control over you and so pretend to miss you.
• They always want to keep you as a backup option so even after divorce they might reach out for obtaining their narcissistic supply.
• They would want to keep a door open for physical intimacy and sex is one of the things that they crave other than their narcissistic supply, so they might turn up after divorce to you just to obtain that.
• They might come back when they want some monetary gains from you.
• Narcissists can be the most difficult people, and thus they do not have many people who see them for them, so they may come around to gain emotional support from you from time to time.

Can a Narcissist have a Happy Marriage?

The answer to the question, “Can a narcissist have a happy marriage or is it just a parade of fake pictures on social media?” is a hard “No” or a “Maybe”. This is because a narcissist can just pretend many times that they have a happy married life, and the thought of a narcissist committing to marriage and working hard to maintain a successful and happy marriage also seems a bit stretched. Narcissists can definitely love, but they are not very fond of committing.

Do Narcissists Regret Divorce? – Reasons why and why not a narcissist would regret divorcing

When you leave a narcissist, they would not be able to bear the consequences as rejection is totally a no-no for a narcissist, as it would tarnish their reputation of being spotless. So they would never take the blame for the divorce, they would simply point fingers at you and work super hard to make it look like your fault and that it is them who is divorcing you and not the other way around. A few possible reasons are discussed below for which a narcissist may or may not regret the divorce situation.

Reasons why a narcissist would regret divorcing

• Narcissists linger around you for a while even after leaving you for someone else to check how you are doing. They never completely cut ties with their exes, until they have completely benefitted from you and thus them losing the benefits of you might be a reason to regret.
• They would regret it as they would have no one to boss or control around.
• Narcist would regret it as they may not have their household help (in this case wife) as narcissists are lazy and never do the groundwork, they just know to sit around at home and boss around their wife and children for all chores as they are the earners and they feed them.
• They regret it because they would be paying alimony and some other expenses too for their exes and children.
• They would regret the divorce situation because how much ever they try to save their image in society, their not-so-perfect marriage situation would tarnish their image and even they might get some fingers pointed at them which they even hate more.
• Narcissists always like to win in all situations, but this divorce situation may not allow them to retain that title as a divorce directly indicates failure.
• They might regret the divorce as they would think that their charm and love-bombing qualities are deteriorating as they were not able to convince you to stay.

Reasons why a narcissist would not regret divorcing

• Narcissists do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up or even feel any remorse about the divorce situation. Their only fear and concern is the lack of supply in their life. They do tend to keep contact with their exes or even try to be together again after divorcing, to satisfy their ego. They want to know how miserable you are after the divorce situation. They just want to watch you fail in life without them. They want you to cry your eyes out and repent the divorce for the rest of your life.
• Narcissists would not substantiate the fact that they survive and fit into the world with the help of supply, as they feel nothing could weaken their existence, but without supply, they would not be able to function smoothly and effortlessly. They are unable to process the thought of not having a source of supply so they always have their sources of supply lined up. As chefs stock up their refrigerators, in the same way, narcissists stock up their life with variable sources of supply in the form of friends, exes, life partners, family members, or even their romantic partners.
• Narcissists have a sense of entitlement which they fulfill with the help of the supply. They do not view a human as a human with needs, emotional attachment, or any source of emotional connection. They first view them as their source of supply, weigh their positives and negatives, and then proceed with them and visualize them as humans with substantial needs. Everybody craves attention, but in the case of narcissists, they crave constant and undivided attention.

A proper guide on Divorcing a Narcissist

While divorcing a narcissist, there are a few points that you need to take care of,

• You have to remember the end result that is your freedom and not the struggle you have to face while the divorce process
• Take care of your finances and other important assets
• Gaining professional help and all sorts of support from friends and family
• Preparing your arguments and your side of the story with some solid groundwork
• Learning to push their buttons to make them worked up
• Start focusing on self-care and self-love

1. You have to remember the end result that is your freedom and not the struggle you have to face while the divorce process

This so happens while taking a big step in life when you are afraid, alone, and worried about your future, but always remember that everything happens for a reason and whatever is happening is good in itself. You have to remember the end result which is your freedom when you get chills or stop yourself from taking the bold step of divorcing a narcissist and not the struggle you have to face while the divorce process. Just prepare yourself and give strength to your thoughts by remembering all the abuse and toxicity that you had to face with the narcissistic partner.

They use this tactic, of breadcrumbing you, not out of love, care, or any positive feeling, but just to keep you in their life a little longer. If you are already a part of a relationship with a narcissist, then they would drop just enough breadcrumbs for you to take as bait. They are never going to change, or have empathy. They just want you to stick around them for a little longer. So do not fall prey to a narcissist, when they suddenly start sending flirty, coy messages as they would just be dropping breadcrumbs for you to be around a little longer.

The technique of Breadcrumbing used by a narcissist when you propose to leave or divorce them

Breadcrumbing when referred to as the aspects of dating, is an action of luring someone or a hinting gesture without interest in committing to change or just to lure their victims back. When an individual uses the technique of breadcrumbing, it clearly states that they intend to just lead you by creating a fake impression of being interested in you but in reality, they have ulterior motives camouflaged under the complete act.

Narcissists try to build false hopes or commitments and create a fake impression of engrossment with some hidden agendas which may also be a sign of red flags. Breadcrumbs can be in the form of flirting, calling, texting, or coy hints. Such people who relinquish the breadcrumbing, are just entering your life to fulfill their purpose.

Breadcrumbing is a toxic technique that involves control and emotional manipulation to just fulfill some ill motive or take advantage of you. It is never done out of love. If a person truly admires you, they would not seek this technique and would approach you using straightforward ways rather than this toxic and twisted way.

Everyone deserves mental peace and happiness. So at some point and sometimes you need to act against a narcissist when you are done with their constant manipulation and use their tactics against them. But by doing so you are defending yourself. This might also lead to them taking an act of revenge that is a divorce in this case on you but do not be afraid and stand up for yourself.

2. Take care of your finances and other important assets

Taking care of the finances is very crucial while divorcing the narcissist, as you would be completely dependent on them until now. A narcissist would try to make you financially handicapped while you are with them so that you do not leave the relationship due to financial dependency. So taking a new job, finding a source of income, or doing anything to stable out your financial situation becomes very important.

Also do not forget to ask for alimony and divide the assets equally. Collect all proofs, documents, and paperwork you can that can prove why you need the money or the assets. Also, if you are thinking to divorce a narcissist after a few years, start preparing now and collect some funds in an anonymous bank account that only you are aware of. Do not inform anything about that account to the narcissist, as this stash of cash would be helping you when you get the divorce.

Also recollect all the important documents like passports, certificates, and many more things and keep these in a safe place so that the narcissist would not be able to retain them. Narciisst can use even such things to keep you away from getting a divorce, or they would not return your things after your divorce. So play smart with a narcissist and always be a step ahead of them, as by now you might have figured out with which kind of person are you dealing indeed!

3. Gaining professional help and all sorts of support from friends and family

Hiring professional help in the form of a divorce lawyer or a divorce coach might make the divorce situation much easier as they would be providing all the professional guidance which can make your case much stronger, more logical, and appealing for the law to provide immediate justice. A divorce lawyer might help you with the support and guidance that is required by the law for legal matters like divorces.

While seeking support from friends and family can actually make you strong emotionally, mentally, and physically and would not let you wither away from the process and also not allow you to get lured back into the toxic relationship with some manipulative tactics. Always remember this point and do not make the mistake of underestimating the manipulation power of the narcissist. Narcissists can play dirty and also they do not play fair and square many times. So help from friends and family would help you stay strong against the narcissist.

4. Preparing your arguments and your side of the story with some solid groundwork

Remember that you are dealing with a narcissist here. They are usually smart and manipulative in their approach and can convince anyone against you by presenting the twisted truth of the situation. But you already are aware of all this just remember this. Prepare your case strongly by collecting proofs, and solid concrete pieces of evidence and lay some solid groundwork before proceeding with the divorce process.

5. Learning to push their buttons to make them worked up

Pushing their buttons or getting them worked up might help you as they might tend to make at least some sort of mistake either verbally or through their physical behavior which can work in your favor while you present your case.

Ways to piss off a Narcissist – How to Push Their Buttons?

• Setting firm boundaries
• Throwing facts or factual data straight at their face
• Hurting their Pride and Ego
• Talking to other people and making new friends
• Make them lose their control
• Gaslighting them
• Criticizing them
• Acknowledge yourself how their behavior is wrong and you are victimized

Ways to mess with a Narcissist

• Being unpredictable
• Be boring and inattentive toward them
• Learn to say “No” and start using denial as your defense mechanism
• Walk away while they are talking to you
• Cut off communication with them
• Steal the spotlight from them
• Being their biggest competitor
• Communicating without the involvement of many reactions

You can beat a narcissist in their own game by just a few simple steps like not validating them, ignoring them, not seeking their advice, dismissing what they say, throwing facts straight at their face, proving them incorrect, not giving them attention, crushing their ego, scoop their original personality right in from them, outrun supply, and a few more. These are some of the ways in which you can confound a narcissist in their own game by using certain tactics which can piss them off easily, mess with their head, and might even push some of their buttons.

6. Start focusing on self-care and self-love

Do not let anyone bring down your confidence and self-love. Narcissists have a tendency to ruin the definition for you, but find the meaning of love again by seeking help. Connect with nature, adopt a pet, or find new people to connect with.

Celebrate your little victories, consult a therapist, get help from loved ones, be grateful for what you have rather than what is lost, sleep well, eat well, stay with family, be positive, and live well. Working on your self-confidence, your goals, and mental peace in mental health aspects. Exercise more, take a proper diet, and build up your physical health. By doing so you can make a narcissist jealous and that would shoo them off. This ensures your well-being.

Self care is how you take your power back.

– Lalah Delia

Would there be any consequences after divorcing the narcissist?

There may be some consequences after seeking revenge or divorce from a narcissist, as dealing with a narcissist can never be easy.

• Might cost you your mental peace and narcissists may not even reflect on what they have done wrong.
• This might lead to them taking an act of revenge on you for this, which can be ruinous for you.
• Other consequences may also include permanent scars like distorted mental health or temporary breakdown.
• Verbal abuse or blackmailing
• Threats from them
• Unwilling projections from them
• Rash reactions from them which might even hurt you

But do remember that you would be gaining your freedom after the divorce. So stay strong and bear some consequences if a narcissist decides to make you suffer a little more. Remember what all you have been through by being with them and the consequences add just a little more to that same toxicity but the end result is freedom here so do not compromise your freedom with the fear of some not-so-worthy consequences of separation.

You can get revenge on a narcissist, but not the way you think. Heal, live well, move forward, accomplish your goals, live your best life. Narcissists hate when you are doing better than them, or better without them. As crazy as it sounds its insulting to them. It drives them crazy. Even if they are the ones that left you, they can not handle if you are doing great without them. Some will literally try to find out how you are doing to reassure themselves that you still want them.

– Maria Consiglio

As suggested by the psychology expert herself, narcissists cannot wish well for you even after your divorce or split up. So it is better to move on by living the life that you deserve by all means can be the best revenge you can seek after divorcing a narcissist.

In Conclusion

A narcissist can miss you and regret divorcing you, but for different reasons and not that you might have thought. They might miss you for the affection you had for them as everyone especially narcissists craves attention and affection. They might miss your validation for their fake, unreal, and dual personality, they might miss what you did for them, how you made them feel, and the physical intimacy. Narcissists would not actually miss you for who you are or your feelings, but they might miss you for how you made them feel special and entitled and made them your priority.

Remember that divorcing a narcissist is not going to be easy and can be a hell of a roller coaster journey for you. But remember the freedom you are going to get from all the abuse and toxicity.

But do remember that you would be gaining your freedom after the divorce. So stay strong and bear some consequences if a narcissist decides to make you suffer a little more. Remember what all you have been through by being with them and the consequences add just a little more to that same toxicity but the end result is freedom here so do not compromise your freedom with the fear of some not-so-worthy consequences. Just focus on your self-growth and healing. Seeking divorce means you no longer care for a narcissist and have completely moved on. This means they no longer matter to you.

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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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