Do This If You Are Missing Your Narcissist Ex (Working Method)

by Ella Carrillo · June 20, 2023

Are you missing your narcissistic ex? Do this if you are Missing your Narcissist Ex and save yourself from all the trauma. So what exactly should you do to stop yourself from getting back with your toxic? Should you get back with your narcissistic ex? Let us find out further in the article.

Just remember all the toxicity and think twice before approaching your toxic ex. It is very obvious that everyone has some lingering feelings for their exes, and also they wish to get back with their exes. But is it worth getting back with your narcissistic ex?

Finally, with lots of courage, you have enabled yourself to forget about your ex, but their one phone call or text or their glimpse, and it all starts collapsing. You can no longer hold your shield and thus your weakened self-pride comes crashing down. You pick up your phone to call them or text them. But WAIT! Withhold yourself and think once again. Should you let your healing go in vain and get caught up once again in that toxic cycle of abuse? It is not uncommon to miss your exes after breaking up, especially narcissists as they have charming after-effects even after the breakup.

Why am I still thinking about my narcissistic ex even after breaking up?

It is not uncommon to continue thinking about an ex-partner even after a breakup, particularly if they were a narcissist. Narcissistic partners can leave a lasting impact on their victims, and the trauma associated with an abusive relationship can take time to heal. Additionally, breaking up with a narcissist always feels like there is a lack of closure, as the breakup seems abrupt. Thus you may take a lot of time processing the breakup and trying to figure out as to what exactly went wrong!

The lack of closure and abrupt breakup may also involve rekindling and revisiting past memories of the good moments spent with the narcissist and thinking about how the relationship actually affected you. Thus this is the answer to the question, “Why am I still thinking about my narcissistic ex even after breaking up?”.

Why do I miss my Narcissistic Ex?

It is natural to miss your ex-partner after breaking up with them, even though they are a toxic narcissist. “So why do we miss our toxic exes?” The reasons are mentioned here below,

The Co-dependency – Narcissists often seek out partners who are willing to cater to their needs and fulfill their desires. This can create a co-dependent bond or a relationship between the partners where both of them rely on each other majorly for validation and seeking support.

Trauma Bonding – Narcissists often use manipulation and emotional abuse to create a bond with their partners. This can create a strong attachment pattern and further develop that pattern into attachment issues, making it difficult for both partners to move on unless they have found someone new already.

Fear of being Alone – Being in a relationship with a narcissist can create a sense of security and companionship. Fear of loneliness can make it really difficult to let go of the relationship even if it is toxic.

The Idealization phase – Narcissists often start relationships by idealizing their partners and showering them with attention and praise. This can create a sense of being valued and desired that can be hard to let go of.

Would a narcissist even miss you after the breakup as you do?

A narcissist would majorly not miss you as they already would have moved on from you to their new partner, but the only reason they might miss you is how you made them feel and how you were different from their current partner. They would actually not miss you but would miss how you made them feel and nothing more.

They might miss you for the affection you had for them as everyone especially narcissists craves attention and affection. They might miss your validation for their fake, unreal, and dual personality, they might miss what you did for them, how you made them feel, and the physical intimacy. Narcissists would not actually miss you for who you are or your feelings, but they might miss you for how you made them feel special and entitled and made them your priority.

Narcissists can truly regret losing you and also miss you indeed, but in reality, most of the time it is that they would actually miss and also regret how you made them feel with your presence in their life. A narcissist is capable of feeling all emotions, it is just that they do not acknowledge them and express them due to their vulnerabilities.

A narcissist may not regret losing you(their partner/lover/mate) or would not miss you as much as you miss them because they believe that they are always right, superior, and entitled to everything they want. They tend to have an excessive sense of self-importance and lack empathy for others. Therefore having regrets or feeling emotional damage after losing their partner may be perceived as a threat to their ego and reputation, and thus they would never do or feel anything that can damage their shiny high-end image in society.

Narcissists would choose to just shun their emotions and become emotionless after breaking up and hop onto their next victim as soon as possible after their breakup, rather than accepting the feeling that they regret or are upset by losing you which may be significant. Additionally, they may blame others or blame some external factors for their loss rather than taking responsibility for their actions.

Why do I miss my Narcissistic Ex even after breaking up?
It is not uncommon to continue thinking about an ex-partner even after a breakup, particularly if they were a narcissist. Narcissistic partners can leave a lasting impact on their victims. Thus you may take a lot of time processing the breakup and trying to figure out as to what exactly went wrong!

How to let go of the narcissist from your life and thoughts?

Set clear boundaries and do not break them for any reason. You decide for yourself what behavior is acceptable and what is not and thus check mark all the boxes for the traits of people who do not fit in your type. Setting boundaries would allow you to not break them thus preventing you from going back to the narcissist and also thinking about them.

Replace all negative thoughts with something positive by associating yourself with positive people. Keep your thoughts on track by involving yourself with something like self-care podcasts, motivational videos, music, therapies, or anything that might help you to be positive.

Avoid dwelling on any negative emotions and replace them with positive affirmations and only focus on the bright side and all the good in your life.

Focus on self-care. Practice self-compassion and prioritizing your well-being. Engage in activities that bring you relaxation, peace, and most importantly happiness.

Recognize the reality of the situation. Accept that the narcissist is very unlikely to change, and let go of any hope that you might have regarding the narcissist. This way you might not have any regrets too and would easily be able to move on.

How to completely forget your narcissistic ex? – Do this if you are missing your Narcissist Ex

After a narcissistic relationship ends, it can be challenging to move forward and completely forget your ex. Narcissist exes are able to ruin your mental health and fill your brain with negative thoughts as they do just manipulate and abuse their victims. They make you feel drained and confused. However, it is possible to heal from the trauma and move on. Here are some ways to completely forget your narcissistic ex,

1. Cut off all contact with the narcissist

If you really want to forget your narcissistic ex, then the first step is to cut off all contact and follow the no-contact rule. Going “No Contact” means going completely off contact or an off-reach approach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, or not visiting places that you expect them to be.

To get rid of the narcissist from your life and thoughts without much of a hassle, the no-contact phase must stay implemented for a bare minimum of 60 days or more than that. This period is enough for both; for you to move on and for them to stop chasing and hoovering around you. This ensures your well-being both emotionally and mentally. Also, make sure to cut ties with your mutual friends, or at least try to stay away from social gatherings as the narcissist might try to find their way into your life through mutual friends, acquaintances, or even family members.

2. Focus on self-care

Self-care is essential, especially after being a part of a toxic relationship with the narcissist. Self-care includes focusing on activities that make you feel good, like meditating, doing yoga, reading, exercising, painting, learning a musical instrument, or anything that makes you happy. This also includes spending as much time as possible with yourself. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically will help you feel better.

3. Seeking Therapy or counseling

Narcissistic relationships can leave deep emotional wounds that require professional help to heal. A therapist or counselor can help you understand your emotions better and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Why is Emotional and Mental Healing important?

Emotional, Mental, and physical Healing becomes very important when you depart ways with a narcissist. A narcissistic relationship tends to deteriorate your mental, physical, and emotional health along with decreasing your confidence, willpower to live, and the simple joys of life.

4. Remember your worth

Being with narcissists might have crashed your self-worth and self-pride as they constantly make you feel worthless by constantly reminding you that you are worthless. But who are they to decide your worthiness? Ignore them and their notions about you, just know your worth. Also, remember that you are good as you are and nobody can decide your worthiness except you. You need to be treated with equal respect, love, and care. So dust off any doubts and focus on your strengths and accomplishments and also take note that you are amazing as you are and nobody can take away that from you. You are You!

5. Surround yourself with positive people

Try to befriend people who make you feel good about yourself. Be in touch with people who are positive and uplifting as those people can really help you heal from the trauma that the narcissist has caused. Such people are positive, make you feel good, and also understand your worth.

6. Forgive yourself

Try forgetting yourself as narcissists are skilled at blaming their partners for their wrongdoings, insecurities, and complexes. Remember that it is not just you because of whom the relationship has ended. Forgive yourself for any mistakes that you have made and move on from the past.

Try to give yourself time to heal yourself after all the manipulation, trauma, and abuse. Here below are some signs that you are healing from a breakup,

You look happy and healthy
You can reminiscence your good old habits
You start enjoying your own company and your attitude toward life changes
Your life starts seeming carefree
You become more confident with life
Physical and mental health issues tend to disappear
You start feeling all the emotions

Inference

Breaking free from a narcissistic ex can be difficult, but is not impossible. It can be a little difficult but you can achieve everything with a little discipline and strong willpower. Try with the little steps mentioned above in the article and look at yourself achieving the difficult part of breaking free from the narcissistic relationship.

It is important to remember that missing an ex, even someone narcissistic is completely normal so do not blame or criticize for feeling such emotions. Take your time to heal from this situation and move on gradually. Seek support from family, friends, therapists, or anyone that you feel comfortable with.

Author
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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.