How To Choose The Perfect Gifts For Narcissists? – 3 Expert-Recommended Tips
Everything with narcissists may seem a little difficult as they might not be that accepting and open about people’s conduct, choices, and ideas. They are not the most accessible when it comes to gift giving. So, How to Choose the Perfect Gifts for Narcissists?
Narcissists are self-absorbed people who might seem like they love to receive gifts. Gifts are a perfect example of displaying love and admiration and can make a narcissist delighted. It may also tick all the narcissistic supply boxes for the narcissist and would be a great deal to resolve differences. But is it as simple to choose a gift for the narcissist as it sounds?
Gift-giving can be a tough task as is, but it is even more complicated with a narcissist in the picture. Like others, narcissists may also experience pleasant emotions by receiving gifts and it would make them feel visible, loved, and treasured. But the downside of gifting a narcissist is that no gift is ever enough for them. They might never feel contented with the gift you choose. Though the gift can make them happy but not satisfied.
Can you ever give a Narcissist the Perfect Gift?
The most expected answer to this question is a “No”, as they are never satisfied with whatever you gift them. Nothing is ever going to be enough for them. Despite putting in effort and choosing the desired gift for the narcissist would never be right for them. Even if it is what they wanted, your gift can never provide the right amount of contentment.
So when you ask them what they desire with the correct intentions to provide them with the best possible outcome in the form of a gift, you would be facing their wrath in the form of narcissistic rage. They would lash out at you by saying,
- Don’t you know me?
- “Don’t you know my tastes and interests?”
- “Why can’t you figure out such a simple thing of choosing the gift for me?”
- “Can’t you figure out what I like or what I would want?”
- “Don’t you pay attention when we talk?”
- “Have you already forgotten what I like or desire?”
There is no winning against the narcissist. Even though you have been paying complete attention to what they have to say and about their likes and dislikes, or what they desire and getting that very thing that they described as a gift, still be ready to be gaslighted. Though would gaslight you into believing that you never wanted such a gift. And thus you would have to accept your fate here and deal with their lack of empathy.
How To Choose The Perfect Gifts For Narcissists?
With holidays around the corner, choosing gifts become a complicated process. Choosing gifts for family members, friends or anyone loved by you is always a tough decision. You might put a lot of effort into choosing gifts for everyone. But when it comes to choosing a gift for the narcissist in your life, it is an extremely complicated and tedious task.
No matter what you choose, the narcissist would not be contented, and rather than acknowledging the efforts that you might have into getting the gift, they might make comments like, “You might not have put as much effort as this is not I wished for”, or “If you would have a little bit more attention to my needs, your gift could have been more thoughtful”, “Though I like your gift; if you could have just put a little more thought into it I would be much happier”.
Despite all these, there are a few tips, provided by neuroscience experts regarding gifts that might help you in choosing the perfect gifts, especially for narcissists. These tips are particularly regarding why and when would people like particular things as gifts and thus these points may be generally applicable to make the gift-giving process easier.
However, these tips are generalized and may not be as effective for all narcissists as narcissists can not be generalized with others, yet these tips can be a lot more helpful while choosing gifts for the narcissist. These gift-giving tips are sourced based on the information provided in an article published by Psychology Today, so let us get to know,
Choosing Gifts that one can look forward to
Gifting something that one can look forward to in a futuristic sense can be an excellent choice. Everyone is eagerly waiting when it comes to receiving gifts. People always look forward to what they might receive as a gift, so to keep the thrill and excitement going, gifts like concert tickets, a planned trip or a holiday, or an invitation to an upcoming event, etc., can give us hope to look forward to something in the future.
Rather than being immediately rewarded, some people like such gifts that may excite them for a futuristic episode in their lives. This can bring the thrill and hope to look forward to that futuristic happening. Such gifts can bring joy and yearning for the future. Such gifts can excite narcissistic individuals as they would appreciate the efforts and thoughts that you have put into choosing such precious gifts for them.
Building up excitement for gifts to fulfill the expectations
From the above-mentioned point provided by researchers, one can make the gift more interesting by anticipating it or gifting something that one can always look forward to. The second point or clue that experts provide is that before gifting the actual gift, if the excitement and anticipation are built up in advance then it may also increase the surprise element and can make the wait worth it for the person on the receiver side.
Wrapping the gift is also a trick that might increase the anticipation and excitement for receiving the gift. However, there is a risk factor involved in this. Sometimes discussing a lot about the gift in advance can backfire negatively for you as it may happen the reality might not match with the anticipation you might have built for the person on the receiving edge of the gift.
Building a little suspense can make the receiver eager to receive the gift in advance. There are some pros and cons to following this tip though there are chances that this tip may not work very well for the narcissists as they have a tendency to build high expectations and when they receive the end results they might belittle or degrade the same as they might have built up very high expectations for the surprise you are planning.
Thus there are fifty percent chance that this gifting tip may or may not work out in the case of narcissists on the receiving end, though there might be some hope as all narcissists have different personalities and some might enjoy the suspense build-up prior to receiving the gift.
Gifts that can keep on adding value or keep on giving
People usually love gifts that can keep on adding value for the coming time in the future too. Such gift examples can be making donations in the name of the receiver, gifting a fixed deposit with a personalized gift card, gifting something personalized, doing charity work together, or something that is a selfless service for others and something that brings unexpected happiness and satisfaction.
Gifting such things may be more valuable to some people rather than receiving money or a tangible item. Such intangible gifts that include doing charity work, making donations, or anything that is a valuable contribution to the social economy can bring the intangible joy of receiving gifts. Helping a good cause may give inner peace to many people thus giving such Gifts that can keep on adding value or keep on giving are valuable for many people.
Though narcissists may have a different reason to be happy here. Narcissists love anything that may bring them appreciation, pride, and recognition, so doing so in the form of making a donation in the name of a narcissist or doing charity work with the narcissist may or may not bring the feel-good feelings for the same reasons as others but it may bring feel-good triggers as the narcissists receive recognition which can be a form of narcissistic supply for them.
How do you efficiently handle gift-giving with a narcissist?
The best way to handle gift giving with a narcissist is by gifting something that is affordable for you and also liked by them. You have to accept the fact that no matter what you gift a narcissist, they are never going to be contented by it and you would be receiving many feedback comments too, so be ready for that too. If not, they will also never accept the fact they liked the gift or it was the perfect gift for them. They would always like to be in the grey zone where they might not appreciate or depreciate your gift.
Some generalized gift-giving ideas for the narcissist in your life
Gift-ideas for birthdays
Narcissists like it when people gift them something that can reflect their sense of self-importance and worth. They may not like something sentimental but would like something pompous or grandiose that can match their grandiosity like,
A self-care Spa Voucher or a spa set that can help them maintain their skincare routines
Premium edibles like premium pasta, oils, good liquors, premium chocolates, caviar gift boxes, or something that suits their taste.
Exclusive desk organizer that can enhance their professional space or home office space
Gift-ideas for Christmas
Narcissists love to receive luxurious gifts that can match their perceived superiority and power. But such gifts may also come with a hefty price tag so if you do not have a budget for such a luxurious gift you can always choose to go with something amusing or playful yet sophisticated like,
A personalized Journal with their name engraved on it and a color that matches their vibrant personality.
A weekend getaway that may focus on the vacation that they have been planning for a long. Such gifts may prove that it is always about them and it is specifically planned for them.
A personalized mug with their favorite quote or stating something about them being the best in your life.
What do Narcissists love the most?
All a narcissist always desires is to be the center of attraction or be treated like a god. They love everything that can boost their egos and praise their self-worth. So the more adoration, validation, and admiration you provide, the more chances are of them being happy with you.
So do not get all overthinking and overanalyzing the gifting scenario just gift them what feels right to you and to your budget for them. They are never going to be as satisfied and as happy as you might have planned so just gift them something that may be valuable for you without worrying much about the whole gifting situation with the narcissist.
Final Thoughts
Gift-giving can be a tough task as is, but it is even more complicated with a narcissist in the picture. Like others, narcissists may also experience pleasant emotions by receiving gifts and it would make them feel visible, loved, and treasured. But the downside of gifting a narcissist is that no gift is ever enough for them. They might never feel contented with the gift you choose. Though the gift can make them happy but not satisfied.
There is no winning against the narcissist. Even though you have been paying complete attention to what they have to say and about their likes and dislikes, or what they desire and getting that very thing that they described as a gift, still be ready to be manipulated regarding the gifts.
So do not get all overthinking and overanalyzing the gifting scenario just gift them what feels right to you and to your budget for them. They are never going to be as satisfied and as happy as you might have planned so just gift them something that may be valuable for you without worrying much about the whole gifting situation with the narcissist.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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