20 Examples Of Female Narcissist Lies (And How To Respond)

Dealing with a female narcissist can be emotionally draining, as their pattern of abuse can leave you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and vulnerable. So if you are a part of their abuse yet are unaware of their manipulative tactics, here are 20 examples of Female Narcissist Lies along with effective and practical strategies to respond to them.

20 Examples of Female Narcissist Lies (And How To Respond)

Narcissism is a mental health disorder that affects both men and women on an equal basis. It is always believed that mostly men are narcissistic, but the truth is men and women are equally affected, it is just that female narcissists are not discussed as widely as males, and this is the sole reason why female narcissists are not focused and highlighted more often.

So if you have reached this article, then there is a possibility you might be dealing with a female narcissist. Let us know some examples of manipulative tactics through which she may lie and also know some ways to respond,

1. Pretending to care

A female narcissist would pretend to care for you, but in reality, all she would do is pretend to care. She would do so just so that she would not be judged. She is just focusing on the people so that others fulfill her needs and care for her while she needs them. There would be no trace of genuine care or concern.

How can you respond?

You must not deny and accept her help or she will be agitated. Female narcissists have this sense of being superior and they would be hurt if you deny it as she would think you do not believe her capacity to help. Whatever help she may be offering, smile and express your gratitude but you must ensure that your boundaries are respected.

2. Denial of responsibility

You may often hear statements like,

  • “You still think I might have done this?”
  • “I am innocent.”
  • “I am the victim, can’t you see that?”
  • “Evidence can be fabricated.”

Even if it is visible that she is the culprit, the female narcissist would deny the wrongdoings and even turn her back on you. She may also not accept the consequences and keep on denying it despite providing evidence.

How can you respond?

Do not aggravate her, instead put your point calmly. Do not raise your voice or she can be even louder than you. You must learn to navigate your way through your narratives which must ensure your boundaries.

3. Creating Drama

Female narcissists often thrive on drama and chaotic situations. They would fabricate situations that may give rise to conflicts.

Narcissists thrive on drama and chaotic situations. Your emotional reactions may act like wind to the fire. It will give a boost to the narcissist’s abuse and toxicity and they may manipulate you even more when they find you emotionally vulnerable.

How can you respond?

When the female narcissist receives an emotional reaction, it may suffice their her for a narcissistic supply as they love chaos and drama. They may cherish while you may be putting your genuinely emotional reactions with expectations. Your feelings may devalued by her. Thus do not engage in any emotional battles and lose your calm and composure.

4. Love Bombing

She may express her affection and overindulge in your life. She may manipulate you using emotions to gain your trust. She would, cook your favorite meals, agree with your plans, buy expensive gifts, and agree to do everything that she may be delaying for a long.

How can you respond?

Do not be highly impacted by the temporary attention she may be giving you, and also do not start trusting her fully with her intentions. Enjoy the positive attention while you are getting it.

5. Two faced perosnality

While you may be familiar with the term two-faced personality, with a female narcissist in your life you can also experience this. She would play the victim with one person while defaming the same individual to others. She might launch smear campaigns behind the back while supporting the same person upfront publically.

How can you respond?

Narcissists may try to trap you in the triangulation tactic, where they may force you to choose sides. Deny doing so. Choose to be open about your opinion and be open to communicating with both parties to gain equal insight into the matter.

6. Competing for Sympathy

Her problems should be a major concern for you always. She would share her struggles and try to gain your sympathy, neglecting your emotional support requirements. She would demand your undivided attention by discussing and exaggerating how hard life is for her.

How can you respond?

You may provide a shoulder to cry, but not by neglecting your emotional needs. Maintain healthy boundaries and do not let her walk all over your emotional needs just because she is demanding.

7. Manipulative Flirting

When you are unable to give her your undivided attention, she intentionally flirts and attracts attention from other people just to make you realize that you are lucky to be with her as she still is capable of pulling other people in. She would use your jealousy and seek attention.

How can you respond?

You must communicate with her the reason you may be unable to provide her attention at a given time. Let her know how discomforting it is for you and you will be all ears once you are done with your prior commitments.

8. Fake tears

Your emotional vulnerability becomes a tool for the female narcissist to seek sympathy, manipulate, and abuse you by crying and getting her way. She knows her fake tears can manipulate your decisions, and she would shamelessly use them against you.

How can you respond?

Trust your gut feeling and you may be able to spot the difference between genuine and fake tears. You must support her but make sure to maintain your boundaries. Do not give in to her manipulative behavior, think clearly and find a reasonable solution.

9. Sabotaging others

Female narcissists like to establish and prove their superiority and power. She would often sabotage your efforts in the relationship to maintain her superiority.

How can you respond?

When your credits are hogged by someone you may have this urge to seek justice by fighting for your rights. But with a female narcissist, you must be calm and provide constructive feedback that explains why she must not do so and encourage equal involvement in responsibilities for a successful relationship.

10. Emotional Blackmail

You may receive a text or call where she would threaten to harm herself if you do not follow and do as she says. This may be one of her ways to manipulate you.

How can you respond?

While this may be a shallow peril, you should not ignore it. Instead, you must try to understand that she might be coming from an emotionally vulnerable phase and thus support her. You may indulge others and seek help if required.

11. The victim card

A classic manipulative tactic used by the female narcissist is playing the victim card. Victimizing herself, she can easily manipulate others into believing her innocence and divert attention.

How can you respond?

When a narcissist feels they are being attacked with accusations, they would play victim to avoid being accountable. So validating her feelings at first and then challenging her narrative can save you from indulging in a toxic situation.

Counterarguments or self-blame may lead to a much more toxic situation than it already is, so without internalizing, without idealizing, and without trying to change the situation entirely, dealing with a calm mind would help you.

12. False Praise

An insincere praise can mislead someone. This is what a female narcissist does. She might excessively praise you but insincerely, which may lead to her benefits and make her gain what she desires. She would gain favor by manipulating and glorifying someone excessively.

How can you respond?

Acknowledge yourself of her ulterior motives and do not get swayed by her sweet words.

13. Exaggerated Achievements

A female narcissist certainly knows how to uplift herself by degrading and devaluing others. She would exaggerate the fact of how an excellent overachiever she is and how she outshines everyone.

How can you respond?

Do not let anyone steal your thunder is what I would suggest. However small your achievements are, let people know about them, and do not degrade yourself just because someone around you is an overachiever.

Everyone is blessed with different talents and intensities to achieve in life, thus do not allow her to overshadow your achievements.

14. Blame shifting

Blame shifting is a classic manipulative tactic used by all narcissists. Narcissists have a strong blame game going. They are the masters of hoaxing and would deflect the blame in no time.

They would avoid taking responsibility and would transfer the blame to others. While facing criticism, they would twist the reality of the situation, emotionally manipulate others into believing that they are innocent, and make themselves appear weak, vulnerable, and powerless.

How can you respond?

Do not take the blame that is not deserved by you. Try to explain your side of the story calmly and assertively.

15. Withholding Information

A narcissist may be selective in sharing information to control the situation and seek advantage of others. Withholding information would allow a female narcissist to harm others, hide the truth, and even fulfill an ulterior motive.

How can you respond?

When you face such a situation, where you need the narcissist to be open and clear, you must ask them politely. Though you can not force them to disclose the information, you can always make a polite request.

16. Triangulation

Triangulation may not always be intentional for other people, but for narcissists, it is a way to navigate and make the situation more uncomfortable and rugged than it already is. Narcissists use triangulation to gain control over others. They need a narcissistic supply, that they gain by manipulating others.

How can you respond?

Try to communicate directly with other people rather than indirectly engaging yourself through the narcissist.

17. Silent Treatment

Narcissists especially, covert narcissists often implant a silent treatment when they are displeased with something or someone, especially their partners. They may refuse to communicate.

How can you respond?

How would you clear the differences with the narcissist if she refuses to engage in conversations? A simple way to deal with this is either you ignore her, or respect her decision and provide her the space that she requires. Also, set some boundaries to communicate effectively and respectfully.

18. Selective Memory

Narcissists have this typical manipulative trick where they conveniently forget a selective memory, promises, or conversations to avoid accountability and responsibility.

How can you respond?

Remind her very clearly with facts without losing your calm.

19. Boundary Invasion

Boundaries are meant to be broken according to narcissists. The female narcissist in your life may never respect your boundaries and invade your privacy.

Even if you set strict limits, and put up a strong barricade of boundaries, she will walk all over them. She would overstep your boundaries and get involved in your life.

How can you respond?

When you have a narcissist around, you may need firm boundaries and firmer consequences when they are broken.

20. Guilt-Tripping

Narcissist guilt trip their victims to control them.

How can you respond?

Avoid succumbing to their transferred guilt, acknowledge your feelings, and trust yourself.

Why do Female narcissists lie so much?

Not all female narcissists might lie without flinching, but some of them do due to some factors that include,

To protect their Self-image

Female narcissists have a boosted sense of self-importance and they always have this urge to be seen as someone special and someone perfect. They always wish to have the limelight and like to be seen positively.

Thus to maintain this, they may lie to protect their self-image, hide their flaws, and insecurities, and avoid accountability.

Lack of self-awareness

Narcissists make such believable lies as they themselves lack self-awareness. This makes it easier for them to mislead and misguide others from the truth and the reality of the situation and thus hide their remorse, guilt, or wrongdoing.

Lack of Empathy

Narcissists may never be able to understand other people’s perspectives and have humility for them, as they lack empathy. Thus they can lie without thinking about how they may hurt others.

Sense of Entitlement

Narcissists have a boosted sense of entitlement and always expect others to act accordingly to fulfill the narcissist’s wishes and needs. They may also lie to seek this benefit and belittle others.

Need to gain control by manipulating others

To manipulate others, one needs to either lie and fool others or be malicious and trap innocent victims. Narcissistic females have this undefinable urge to establish their control be it in their homes, workplaces, or any such place. Thus they may resort to lies, and fabricate truthful facts to maintain their power and control.

In Conclusion

Not every female narcissist may lie and their manipulation technique might also differ, but their behavior is going to be deceptive and thus they might lie out of habit, not by will.

It is important to note that each narcissistic female may lie according to their tendency to lie and also according to her motivations and intentions.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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