Do Narcissists Love Their Mothers? (How Do They Treat Her?)

Do Narcissists Love their Mothers? How do Narcissists treat their mothers? Mother and child have an inseparable bond and a love connection that does not break that easily. But what if your child is a narcissist? Can a narcissistic child love their mothers equally? Let us keep reading further to know this.

Children and mothers have an inseparable bond, as a mother plays a crucial role in a child’s upbringing. Narcissistic parents leave a deep impact on their children, as they lack emotional bonds, their love is conditional, achievements are more important than their child, their needs are a top priority than their child’s, no arguments only agreements without knowing the problem, and much more.

Often it is observed by mental health experts, that the children raised by narcissistic parents have childhood trauma, which affects their upbringing and also makes the same or even more narcissistic than their parents. Children learn from their parents, so parents would only be passing on narcissistic traits to their children as an inherent quality knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly, by choice or without choice. Unless they are guided toward what is right, instead of toxic behavior, there is no way a child will not learn all those narcissistic traits possessed by their Narcissistic parents.

How does a narcissistic mother treat her children? – Do the children get affected by their Narcissistic Parents?

A narcissistic mother can be or would most certainly be biased toward her son and daughter. Narcissistic mothers may be gender biased and treat their sons differently. Narcissistic Parents would knowingly or unknowingly behave differently toward them. There are a few points that a narcissistic mother would compare and provide a gender-biased upbringing. The points are as below,

Boys would often receive compliments and praise from their narcissistic mothers, as compared to girls. Boys hold more significance for a narcissistic mother in her life than girls. Children of NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) parents often tend to bottle up emotions, withdraw from emotional bonding with anyone else, or are emotionally damaged and lack to understand others.

Usually, sons are provided better educational facilities and a chance for self-growth than daughters by their narcissistic parents. Daughters are not given equal opportunities to study as the sons as they believe a daughter should be better at managing a household rather than studying. They would often ask their daughters to help with the house chores and allow their sons to focus on only their studies.

Narcissistic parents usually consider that their sons can do better at academics than their daughters. As daughters are supposed to manage households after marrying. So their academic needs are usually neglected or given lesser importance.

Basic upbringing differences created by narcissistic mothers for their sons and daughters

  • Narcissistic mothers would often brag about their son’s smallest achievements but would not mention anything about their daughter’s achievements.
  • Sons are not given many responsibilities, while daughters are expected to manage the house, cook, study, and even take care of the family.
  • Narcissistic mothers would easily forgive their son for his mistake, but would not let go of a daughter’s mistake.
  • Sons are given utmost importance, praise, and encouragement by their narcissistic mothers. Constantly neglected by her mother, and in constant need of approval and praise, the daughter of a narcissistic mother would be just walking on thin ice around her.
  • Sons do not need validation for their actions while daughters need constant validation from their mothers.
  • Sons are usually pampered and accepted as they are, while daughters are expected to be perfect at everything they do, to be accepted and loved by their narcissistic mothers.

In such cases, the sons would be overconfident and overestimated, and the daughters of such narcissistic mothers would lack confidence, would be constantly feared, lack care, and love, would feel depressed and neglected, would always have the urge to attain perfection to get validation, and would mostly be prey to narcissism knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly.

But in both cases sons and daughters, children of narcissistic parents have low self-esteem, need constant validation, have troubled relationships, and have problems expressing their emotions.

Now that we know how Narcissistic parents can affect their children’s lives, their upbringing would create more narcissists who are just like them, or even more toxic than them. So let us know how would children raised by narcissistic parents would treat them, would they be loving them; especially their mothers as we know narcissistic mothers are incapable of showing emotions, being loving and caring for their children and most importantly she is selfish and puts her needs prior to her children’s. So how would a narcissistic mother be treated by her children?

Do Narcissists Love their Mothers?

Narcissistic parents leave a deep impact on their children, as they lack emotional bonds, their love is conditional, achievements are more important than their child, their needs are a top priority than their child’s, no arguments only agreements without knowing the problem, and much more. Narcissistic parents are almost emotionally unavailable, self-centered, and egoistic, lash out in anger more frequently, have a very low rate of understanding, and moreover blame the child, rather than looking at their own fault.

A narcissist or narcissist child does have the capability of feeling all emotions, it is just that they do not acknowledge them and express them due to their vulnerabilities. They fear expressing emotions can make them emotionally weak and vulnerable to their parent. They fear that once they surrender to their feelings they might face their parent’s rage. Narcissists are incapable of understanding and exchanging feelings with others. They are self-obsessed and self-absorbed. They can not think from anyone else’s viewpoint. As they do not know how to display their emotions they might struggle to showcase their emotions even to their parents just the same as their parents.

Narcissistic parents are unable to showcase any emotions in general, in the same way, their children might also struggle to reciprocate their feelings for them. Their children might even hesitate to display emotions at all. Narcissists or narcissistic children continuously fear real feelings, as they think they might lose their power and love can make them weak. Narcissists hate weakness as power, control, money, supply, and competency are all they love.

How would a narcissistic mother be treated by her children? – What is the relationship between a narcissistic child and their narcissistic mother like?

Everybody loves their mother though, but do children love their parents equally? Especially in the case of narcissistic children and narcissistic parents! Narcissistic people have a tendency to focus on their own self and they lack empathy to focus on other people’s feelings.

Narcissistic parents inherit their children with their narcissistic traits making them demanding since childhood. As children of narcissistic mothers could not find love from her, they usually seek love from others.

If a mother admires her child when the child is young then the child might also reciprocate the same. But unfortunately, narcissistic mothers often distort reality by creating a grandiose image of themselves in the child’s minds so a child would not be able to see the real selves of their mothers while young, and once they become adults and understand the reality they might resent their mothers by that time.

As per the upbringing given by the Narcissistic mother, the child would also be insulting others which even includes their parents, siblings, friends, and acquaintances as grown-up adults.

Narcissistic children need their mothers more rather than loving them. Their needs come first and even then they might not be able to express themselves openly to their mothers as they have never been taught so.

Narcissistic children who grow up to be even more narcissistic would love to create drama, would crave drama, and would be in emotional chaos, thus would not be able to reciprocate different feelings and emotions of other people including their mothers.

Narcissistic parents would be selfish with their children, so when such children grow up to be adults, they would be even more selfish and even treat their parents with such selfish behavior. Narcissistic children might just think about their desires, their needs, and their benefits even with their mothers.

As the children grow up under narcissistic abuse, their parents become a part of their own identity, and they take them for granted, even abusing them financially and demanding so much despite their age.

As narcissistic children become adults, they become even more demanding, they would not even think twice before demanding undivided attention from their mothers despite their age.

Such children become mean and selfish as their friends and only show affection to their mothers when they need something from her, or it is convenient for them when they have no one else to talk to or comfort them, or just to receive their narcissistic supply to satisfy their ego.

Some narcissists might have genuine affection for their mothers but would not be able to express it due to the lack of empathy and also nobody taught them how to love someone wholeheartedly. Such narcissistic children might have had unaffected love for their mothers but would be completely unaware of the ways of expressing so they would choose to just not show any feelings altogether.

Can Narcissistic children disturb the family dynamics?

Children who grow under the narcissistic influence, often love to create drama and would use the triangulation technique to bad mouth about the other family members. They would gossip, speak ill of other family members to one another and learn the trait of gaslighting when their demands are not fulfilled by any family member including their mothers, thus disturbing the family dynamics.

When parents of such children do take note that their child’s behavior is abusive, instead of correcting them they would defend their child to others boosting the ego of the child. This may create narcissistic adults when the child grows up, and they might be even more scarier, messier, and toxic than their parents. This would also disrupt the family functioning smoothly and might be even worse for society as such adults may not be able to treat others fairly.

What can mothers do if their child becomes more narcissistic?

  • A mother could be more understanding, caring, and compassionate toward their child.
  • Exposing their child to more humanity; that is connect them with good people who can show them love and compassion.
  • Being kind, and generous, and teaching them to be empathetic and loving towards their child will make a big difference.
  • Be more open and discuss this matter thoroughly with the child.

What are some of the ways to cope with childhood trauma? – How to make yourself free from Narcissistic characteristics?

  • Learning about your true feelings, keeping aside all the false facades that you have created, and acknowledging them can be the initial step.
  • Excluding yourself from a group of narcissistic people and finding appropriate company in the form of friends, and a life partner can be one of the ways to keep yourself aloof from that atmosphere.
  • Look after your physical health with the help of exercises, yoga, meditation, and any form of physical workout.
  • Look after your mental health with the help of meditation, reading good books, seeking help from your loved ones, listening to music, and doing more things that keep your interest at its peak.
  • Consult a mental health expert, a therapist, or anyone who can guide you on the correct path.
  • Try connecting more with nature by hiking, swimming, jogging in the fresh air, and any possible means which can get you closure to nature.
  • Give appropriate time to yourself to heal internally; do not force healing upon yourself.
  • Find things that keep you away from negative thoughts, negative people, and a negative atmosphere.
  • Learning new skills, meeting new people, and visiting new places also play a crucial role in freeing yourself from narcissistic characteristics.

In Conclusion

Narcissistic parents inherit their children with their narcissistic traits making them demanding since childhood. As children of narcissistic mothers could not find love from her, they usually seek love from others.

Narcissistic children need their mothers more rather than loving them. Their needs come first and even then they might not be able to express themselves openly to their mothers as they have never been taught so.

Such children become mean and selfish as their friends and only show affection to their mothers when they need something from her, or it is convenient for them when they have no one else to talk to or comfort them, or just to receive their narcissistic supply to satisfy their ego.

Some narcissists might have genuine affection for their mothers but would not be able to express it due to the lack of empathy and also nobody taught them how to love someone wholeheartedly. Such narcissistic children might have had unaffected love for their mothers but would be completely unaware of the ways of expressing so they would choose to just not show any feelings altogether.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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