Why Does a Narcissist Discard a Loyal Friend? Narcissist friendships are something you might want to avoid as Narcissists are not the best people for making friends. Narcissists are mean, and selfish and promote their needs first even in friendships. You cannot just expect a genuine friendship from a narcissist.
Narcissist relationships are usually transactional be it with a romantic partner, a friend, or anyone they might form a relationship with. Narcissists usually approach you with some motive or when they require you for something. The relationships that they form are highly strategic and well-planned. They might be good with you until and unless their work is done and their needs are fulfilled.
So let us know more about narcissists, narcissistic friendships, and why they discard their loyal friends further in this article.
NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) or Narcissism is portraying some common toxic traits in an intensified state than others. In psychological terms, narcissists who suffer from NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) portray these emotions and traits in a greater magnitude than others. These emotions include a boosted sense of self-importance, inflated self-worth, and a constant need for admiration, adoration, and validation.
What is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is totally selfish and mean.
They are really difficult to deal with, maintain relationships with, and someone to endure with. They are psychedelic hippies who are obsessively absorbed in their own self and their own world. They just want to control everything, and everyone and just be supreme in their own world. They are self-obsessed and self-absorbed. They can not think from anyone else’s viewpoint.
They intend to be the center of attraction in all situations. They should be the elephant in the room all the time, are control freaks, are sly, mean, selfish, and much more. Most importantly they lack empathy on many occasions until it affects them. Narcissists do know empathy, but they never tend to care, understand, and be easygoing for others as they think vulnerability and being soft to others are negative traits that can be used against them.
There are some traits through which you can identify and associate with a narcissist. This should not come to you as a shock as being with a narcissist would bring lots of surprises, shocks, and regrets to you. They come with many questionable demands, weird and strange behavior, and acts that may be a little difficult for you to forget.
- You are always the wrongdoer in their eyes
- Narcissists lack sensitivity and empathy.
- They are selfish and inconsiderate
- They always view the negatives first
- They are almost incapable of praising others or giving enough credit to others
- They act over dramatically over trivial matters
- There is no winning against them in an argument
- They are highly competitive even with someone who is incomparable
- They cheat innumerable
- Have unhealthy relationships.
- Have regular mood swings.
- Have uncommon expectations and unusual fantasies
- They use bygone grudges as their trump card
- They use manipulation in all situations where they feel they are losing the grip
- They never provide straight answers
Comprehending Narcissistic Friendships
Narcissists might fake care about their friends, but in reality, all they care is about their needs, priorities, feelings, and concerns. They are primarily associated with self-praise, their accomplishments, their supply (supply is everything that can make a narcissist feel supreme and authoritative like attention, admiration, and validation), and everything about them.
You can wave to them, speak with them at work when you must, have brief social interactions—but narcissists cannot be friends. Friendship requires trust, time and empathy.Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi
As suggested by Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi, a clinical expert on Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), it is better if you limit your interactions with a narcissist as they lack mutual efforts, feelings, and time for what it takes to be called a proper friendship.
They cannot think outside the box in terms of feelings like empathy, care, friendship, or relationship unless it is according to or in their interest or favor. So if you expect equal company from a narcissist, then you might be proven wrong, as friendship with a narcissist might be limited to their benefits, their interests, their praise, and all about them most of the time. If you have a narcissistic friend, you might feel like a side character in your story of lies. Unless you see their positives, ignore their negatives, and make some compromises on your part, a friendship with a narcissist might or might not be in your favor.
Unless and until narcissists need some favor or need your help, they might not even remember your existence in their life as a friend.
How Do Narcissists Treat Their Friends?
How do Narcissists treat their Friends? – Narcissistic Friendships are uncanny, adverse, and nasty, where they treat you with an inferior treatment and use you after they take you for granted. They might also forget about your friendship when their purpose with you is served. Not always a narcissist is all bad, but their true nature does reveal every time you try to take a step back, or even try to ignore them or try to against them.
Narcissistic friendships can be difficult as is, but let us know some points where their friendship stops being friendships and starts to become a toxic abusive bond,
- If it is in their interest they are there for you
- Expect some vexatious expectations of you from them
- They always come to you with a Sense of Entitlement
- Do not expect deep meaningful conversations from them
- Do not expect them to show up when you need them
- They suck all the positivity from you
- They make you feel mentally exhausted
- Expect an abrupt break to your friendships as they only serve the purpose until their benefit
- Be ready for some unexplainable blame games
- Jealousy is always their first reaction to anything new in your life
Narcissist friendships might seem charming and attractive in the initial stages as narcissists are true charmers. They have this irresistible personality, that force you to get involved with them. They are confident, charismatic, and have this unavoidable personality. But with time, a narcissist might drain you, disregard you and make you feel inferior. They lack boundaries and might not even maintain your boundaries.
Narcissists try to use you as a friend as much as possible. They are those mean friends that they would call you without taking note that you might be busy, or working. They want you to be there for them all the time and when you ask for their presence they might simply deny with a straight face. For instance, a narcissistic friend might ask you to pick them up from the airport, run errands or just go shopping with them. But when you ask the same them, they would check their schedules, provided excuses, or deny bluntly. Narcissistic friendships are unhealthy, toxic, and abusive, so try to get out of it as early as possible.
Why Does a Narcissist Discard a Loyal Friend?
Friendship usually becomes fruitful when both friends are equally involved in it. But friendship with a narcissist makes you feel like everything is just about them and you are being sidetracked in the friendship. A friendship with a narcissist lacks equality, reciprocity, and involvement. It always feels like you are always involved when the narcissist needs you.
Narcissists seek a narcissistic supply even in friendships, and they may not hesitate to manipulate their friends for their own benefit. Narcissists hardly care to know about you, they would just be blabbering about them, and when you put your input they would just dismiss you or insult your opinion. They just want to hear good things about them. So when you try to be a good friend who is straight to their face, is honest, and drops truth bombs whenever required, a narcissist starts feeling challenged and starts avoiding your mere existence.
Gradually, they might just end the friendship with you when you try to involve yourself in the friendship, advise them, or doubt their behavior. They might discard you eventually and leave you informed and perplexed because most o the time you would not even understand what went wrong because all you tried was to be a good friend and advice them regarding reality.
Reasons why a Narcissist might discard a loyal friend,
Lack of Empathy
A narcissist hardly cares for other people’s feelings however close their bond may be. They always think about themselves, their needs, and their requirements. The other person in the narcissistic friendship might constantly be providing, fulfilling the narcissist’s wishes, running errands, and doing all they can to keep the friendship going. But narcissists might not even consider their efforts, feelings, and emotions, they might just break the friendship within the frame of a snap.
As a narcissist lacks empathy, they might just break the friendship when their purpose is complete and they can no longer seek benefits from you, thus they might just discard a loyal friend without being considerate.
Fear of being Exposed
A narcissist is a charmer and they can charm people into building friendships with them. But with the initial phase fading off, the other person might start recognizing their real personality. So when you start questioning the narcissist’s true personality or start digging into their motives, they might perceive this as a threat and might discard you out of fear of being exposed. They want people to believe that they are the same person that they try to project, grandiose, mighty, and someone truly valuable.
When you(their loyal friend) run out of Narcissistic supply
Obtaining the Narcissistic supply is all that a narcissist cares about. So when you, a loyal friend stops providing them attention and validation after knowing their true selves, a narcissist might act up and might even tag you as paranoid, orthodox, or mad just because you do not give in anymore to their manipulative tactics and abuse patterns.
See all the red flags in the friendship and try to save yourself from the toxic friendship as soon as possible,
Narcissists are toxic friends and expecting anything from them is not worth it. They might not as much be present in the friendship as you are as they have many people whom they call friends. So to someone loyal like you, they might just use you and discard you when they feel that you are no more required in their life. So it is best if you understand that you are friends with a narcissist and get out of the toxic friendship as soon as possible before they submerge you completely into the toxicity of the bond.
After some time in a narcissistic friendship, you start losing your self-worth, as narcissists deplete your self-worth by constantly asking you to seek validation from them. They even isolate you from your other friends.
A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships, thus they can not be an ideal friend for you. But if you still have to put up with them, or bear with them somehow you may create boundaries, be direct about what you need and expect from them, put your thoughts and feelings with a strong head, do not feel guilty unless your mistake, make new friends who really cheer you, seek help if you have to and maintain a certain and safe distance with a Narcissist. Doing all this may secure your mental peace and happiness.
Consider yourself lucky if you have been discarded by your narcissistic friend, as that was not a healthy friendship that you were trying to protect until now. You have been relieved from a toxic friendship so get yourself out of the trauma towards healing, and also try to find new friends who can render the concept of true friendship once again. You are worthy as is and you do not need a discomforting friendship to be validated.