How Does A Narcissist Just Replace You So Easily? (& How Can You Avoid That?)
How does a Narcissist just Replace you so easily? For a narcissist, most of the relationships are a mere source of obtaining their narcissistic supply in many cases. So, “Can a narcissist love or commit to long-term relationships?”, “Do Narcissists Leave you for Another Person?”, “Can a narcissist return to you?”, “What should you do to lure them back?”, “What can be done to stop the narcissist from leaving you in the first place?”.
If all these questions are wondering your mind, do not get worried, as this article would provide some information about narcissistic relationships, dealing with narcissists so that they do not replace you easily, and how to avoid the replacement phase completely while in a relationship with a narcissist.
If you are dating a narcissist, and you do note some changes in their behavior that suggests they are no longer interested in what you have to offer, then that can be a sign of them cheating on you or disinterested in you, as they would have found a new supply; thus we will be acknowledging you with some Narcissist cheating signs you should not deny or not even ignore, if at all if you feel they have changed.
Not all narcissists cheat or may leave you for someone else, but according to a common human tendency to doubt when in conflict or uncertainty of situation may lead us to illusions many times. But also this is true in the case of a narcissist, as narcissists have a personality and character build-up that shouts falseness, disloyalty, and breach of trust out loud.
How does a Narcissist just Replace you so easily?
The toughest part after breaking up with a narcissist is just watching them quickly move on from you to their next victim and that too within no time. They can immediately turn a new leaf in life with their new partner/victim without being much affected, while you would still be figuring your life out and healing from the narcissistic abuse. A narcissist has the ability to move on quickly from one relationship to another, just because of their insecurity and a fear of always fitting well in the outer world. They always do things that may appeal to the social world and also because of their insecurity to be left out.
Narcissists fear abandonment and hence they cannot imagine being alone. Also, they need their narcissistic supply, thus they prefer to always jump from one relationship after another when they are done with their partner or vice versa. Narcissists would not substantiate the fact that they survive and fit into the world with the help of supply, as they feel nothing could weaken their existence, but without supply, they would not be able to function smoothly and effortlessly.
They are unable to process the thought of not having a source of supply so they always have their sources of supply lined up. As chefs stock up their refrigerators, in the same way, narcissists stock up their life with variable sources of supply in the form of friends, exes, life partners, family members, or even their romantic partners.
Why might a Narcissist replace you or leave you in the first place? – Reasons for replacing you
- Narcissists have an elevated sense of entitlement which makes them feel superior and allows them to behave as they wish without considering anyone’s feelings. Sometimes their conduct may even cross the social bounds of society. They are desire-driven beings who let their desires, lust, and pleasure control them.
- Narcissists do not like being bound by rules of matrimony or by boundaries of responsibilities. So marriage, childbearing, making new relations, or taking responsibility are not their usual deals and so they cheat and often bolt away to hide from responsibilities.
- Narcissists are not good while dealing with truth, feelings, vulnerabilities, commitments, and confrontations. So when they feel they are being trapped in the matrimonial rules by their partner, they often release their tension with someone else, where they can just ignore all the responsibilities at least for a while.
- Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. So when they feel a lack of narcissistic supply from you, they may cheat on you with someone who is full of narcissistic supply. (Supply here refers to giving them attention, praising their accomplishments, providing a sense of entitlement and validation whether it is positive or negative, providing special treatment, meeting their needs and demands, and making them the center of your world.)
- Narcissists are often not satisfied by little, they need everything best and accomplished. They are greedy. So when they come across someone who is more accomplished, has more monetary resources, and is better than their current partner, they might leave you for someone else.
- Narcissists are usually materialistic and obsessed with everything which makes their social image lustrous. Money is one such factor that can fulfill all their materialistic desires, thus they can be consumed by money, fame, and praise. They like to be celebrated loud and lustrous to boost their ego. Even if it is fake, they need praise in a notable manner, and sometimes money can get you that. So they chase money and everyone and everything related to it. So even if it includes cheating, they would not hesitate once.
- They can get easily bored with you and might find someone out of boredom just for having some fun, and thus cheat on their current partner.
What does a Narcissist want from a Relationship?
All a narcissist wants or expects from all relationships, be it a personal or intimate relationship, be it with family or be it a professional relationship, is a way to deal with their own complex emotions without being responsible for them. They project their own insecurities, complexities, and toxicity on you which does not leave any option for the victim but to phase or bear such manipulations because, in a victim’s eyes, the narcissist’s behavior is completely irrational and without any context of why they are doing so!
Narcissists tend to self-loathe and hide the true dark sides of their personalities which include hatred behind their toxic and manipulative tactics. They are so inclined to not take responsibility for what they feel and thus they make you the target and hold you responsible for all the emotional and mental health complexities they go through. They project all their anger, hatred, and intentions onto the people they deal with or include in their life.
Narcissists prefer to be seen as nearly perfectly casted beings. They are full of themselves. So they would do everything to avoid any mishap that can spoil their nearly perfect image. They are just lustrous on the outside but very dark on the inside as they hide all their realities and leave in a world made of falseness and fake facades.
Relationships are a narcissist’s way of releasing or diverting all their anger, emotional turmoil, hatred, and toxicity, otherwise, they would just go crazy or explode with all that emotional disturbance inside. They need a release and relationships are their gateway. And that is the reason why a narcissist can replace you easily and quickly move on to their next relationship without even blinking.
How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last?
Falseness, lack of trust, breach of commitments, and disloyalty are some of the narcissistic traits that are an integral part of their character and personality. They even have control issues and so they can’t control their nasty desires, materialistic needs, and physical intimacy needs. They may leave you when they find someone better than you or for fulfilling their magnified needs for lovemaking.
To fulfill their empty and shallow life, narcissists gain attention, praise, and whatever they need to present their grandiosity of life. So if they are getting all of these needs fulfilled by someone else in a better manner they might leave you.
Narcissists can be the most self-centered beings sometimes and one of the most amazing beings but ultimately all relations they have or every relationship with them is just about them and their benefits. If it benefits a narcissist until then only they would be helping you out, considering you important, or would give weightage to you otherwise, they just forget that you even matter. They can make you feel that you seldom make a difference in their life, or your existence is transactional, and would completely ignore you when they are done with you.
The period of narcissist relationships depends on how the narcissistic individual is and how long can they be with someone. What is it do they find in their relations interesting? and many more such factors.
What can you expect after a Narcissistic relationship has ended?
Narcissists are totally rugged when it comes to receiving their daily dose of narcissistic supply. They can go crazy, collapse, and even have a narcissistic injury when they do not receive their required validation, praise, exaggeration about their self-image, unfiltered admiration, ego boost, an agreeable nod from you, or just the consensus they are seeking from you. Narcissists admire superiority when it comes to their victims and a high sense of domination over them as compensation for their puny self-esteem. Narcissists may suffer narcissistic injury in many cases and narcissistic collapse in some cases when their relationship has ended.
What is Narcissistic Injury?
Narcissistic injury can be defined as a phenomenon or circumstance that can cause damage to a narcissist’s fragile and sensitive ego. They face this when they feel they are rejected, criticized, blamed, insulted, ghosted, ignored, and so on. Narcistsc injuries are psychological as they affect their mental health and leave a huge impact on them. Narcissists can not let go of things, people, and situations that easily and so due to their dissatisfied selves, they are prone to such psychological injuries which are known as narcissistic injuries.
What is Narcissistic Collapse?
Narcissists are in constant need of admiration, validation, and entitlement. Also, they lack one of the most humanistic feelings or emotions of Empathy. So when they do not receive the basics for their viability(admiration, validation, and entitlement) for them to function hassle-free, their obvious reaction is to get impulsive, lash out, and have abrupt and unexpected emotional damage. This is what is termed a Narcissistic Collapse, with reference to psychology. Also as the name suggests, emotional distress, or when a narcissist seems to fall apart emotionally is generally referred to as Narcissistic Collapse.
Can you avoid the whole narcissist replacement situation with the narcissist?
Narcissists are kings and queens of their own world. They engage with and discard people on their wishes and desires. Once they decide to move on from you they would do so. For a while, you might be able to lure back the narcissist in your life once they decide to leave, but as soon as they find someone better than you they would not think twice before replacing you.
You cannot avoid the replacement situation altogether unless and until you are committed to a narcissist in a long-term relationship or a narcissist has just run out of supply and keeps coming back to you. Then too due to a narcissist’s cheating and deceiving nature, you should either live carefully or carefree.
What should you do when a Narcissist just Replaces you so easily?
Do not get disheartened just because a narcissist has left as the narcissist might even come back to you. Or this is just your new chance to just find someone better when they replace you. Look at the positive side here, as their ex, you get to know someone better than them, who is free of toxicity and manipulation. You get to heal and enjoy your newfound freedom. Free yourself from the toxic cycle of abuse and enjoy life freely and on your own terms.
Will a Narcissist come back after discarding you?
Narcissists linger around you for a while after breaking up to check how you are doing. They never completely cut ties with their exes, until they have completely benefitted from you. They do not feel guilty or repent after breaking up but their only fear is the lack of supply. They do tend to keep contact with their exes or even try to be together again after breaking up or giving the silent treatment, to satisfy their ego. They want to know how miserable you are after they have left you!
Dating a narcissist is itself challenging. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, tantrums, emotional unavailability, and peculiar traits. A Narcissist can make you feel like you are on cloud nine for one moment and the next moment is like they don’t even know you. So dating a narcissist is almost unpredictable.
After leaving you or ignoring you for weeks, they would expect nothing to change. They would leave you and you might be questioning yourself about what went wrong. But! Remember it is not your fault, it is just that they are bored with you and leave you without any notice.
They would not want to cut ties completely with you. As they think you might be of some use to them in future. They would not declare the breakup but would show mixed signs, which would force you to go away from them and then blame you for the breakup.
They would show that they are still interested and that you are not. So if at all in the future they want to resume the relationship, they can contact you easily. Narcissists would simply not cut all ties with you and would leave some loose ends, through which they can be associated again. Usually, a narcissistic ex-partner would want you back by all means or not cut all ties, but this may differ from person to person. So try and understand your ex-partner more thoroughly.
Will a Narcissist miss you once you are gone?
While dating a narcissist, you might continuously be perplexed between loving them and the rue of the adverse treatment you get from them. You might be confused about whether to stay with them or part ways with them. They would not allow you to leave, as you would be lured by their compelling actions and affirmative statements of change.
Dating a narcissist can be perplexing, as you might feel you are dating two different people at the same time because sometimes you might feel you are the love of their life because they make you feel like you are someone utterly special. While there are times you might even doubt your place in their life. They would not think twice before hurting, humiliating, and assaulting verbally. You might even feel that while dating them you understand the meaning of both love and toxic love while dating them.
Narcissists can miss you indeed, but in reality, most of the time it is that they would actually miss how you made them. feel with your presence. A narcissist is capable of feeling all emotions, it is just that they do not acknowledge them and express them due to their vulnerabilities.
They fear expressing emotions can make them emotionally weak and vulnerable to their partner. They fear that once they surrender to their feelings they might lose control. So due to this insecurity of them, their partner at many times would feel ignored, unloved, and would feel left out and would also plan on leaving the relationship as they might feel unloved.
How to make a Narcissist come Crawling Back?
You need to understand that all narcissists have different triggers, different traits, and different likes and desires. So before proceeding to lure them back into your life, make sure to understand what kind of personality is your ex-narcissist-partner.
- By rebuilding or reworking on yourself for good
- Make the narcissist realize what they have been missing when they are not with you
- Start attending the same social events as your ex-narcissist-partner
- Control your emotions and don’t show a hint that you miss them
- Post amazing happy photographs of yourself on your social media
- Keep dating new people
- Draw clear boundaries
- Let them know about the end of your relationship with them
- Ignore them in all possible ways
- Make the narcissist realize how wonderful they are!
- Be responsible for your breakup
In Conclusion
The toughest part after breaking up with a narcissist is just watching them quickly move on from you to their next victim and that too within no time. They can immediately turn a new leaf in life with their new partner/victim without being much affected, while you would still be figuring your life out and healing from the narcissistic abuse. A narcissist has the ability to move on quickly from one relationship to another, just because of their insecurity and a fear of always fitting well in the outer world. They always do things that may appeal to the social world and also because of their insecurity to be left out.
Narcissists fear abandonment and hence they cannot imagine being alone. Also, they need their narcissistic supply, thus they prefer to always jump from one relationship after another when they are done with their partner or vice versa. Narcissists would not substantiate the fact that they survive and fit into the world with the help of supply, as they feel nothing could weaken their existence, but without supply, they would not be able to function smoothly and effortlessly.
Relationships are a narcissist’s way of releasing or diverting all their anger, emotional turmoil, hatred, and toxicity, otherwise, they would just go crazy or explode with all that emotional disturbance inside. They need a release and relationships are their gateway.
Thus for all the reasons mentioned above, a narcissist is easily able to replace their partners/victims. Do not get disheartened because a narcissist might even come back to you, or you just find someone better when they replace you. Look at the positive side here, as their ex, you get to know someone better than them, who is free of toxicity and manipulation. You get to heal and enjoy your newfound freedom. Free yourself from the toxic cycle of abuse and enjoy life freely and on your own terms.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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